The Best Hot Dogs of 2022: Punching Day 🌭
Added 2022-12-13 13:00:07 +0000 UTC
A punch can be anything: An attack, a firm answer to a stupid question, a friendly hello to a son of a bitch, an expression of love to an insane Russian who no longer feels pain. Nothing is more flexible than a punch, and we used every part of the fist buffalo in the Year of the Punch: 2022.
Best of 2022 Punching Day #1: Man Sports Comics by Seanbaby
Moon karate is the only way honorable men and Dougs settle disputes in the far-flung future of 1976. Waterfall hockey is the only way insane forest maniacs and Mikes settle disputes in the dystopian land of Canada. It’s a Man Comics dedicated to insane challenges like this one: Fistfight us atop a large bodysurfing man, you cowards!
Best of 2022 Punching Day #2: The Fashion of Marked for Death by Tom Reimann
Steven Seagal told the world exactly who he was with his outfit choices in Marked for Death. The world did not listen, and that’s how we wound up with more than 0.27 Steven Seagal movies, which is the scientifically calculated ideal number of Steven Seagal movies. (Consisting solely of the tube scene from Executive Decision and a superclip of him running.)
Best of Punching Day 2022 #3: FaceGym by Lydia Bugg
There’s an ancient Chinese proverb which, roughly translated, says “the enemy of time is many small slaps.”* That’s the reasoning behind FaceGym, the only gym that’s not a gym but a series of low stakes attacks. This is the article that prompted Lydia to become a certified Slapologist!** She’ll slap you*** until you’re pretty again**** if you ask her!
*Not true.
**Not true.
***True.
****Beauty is subjective.
Best of Punching Day 2022 #4: Ninja Mind Control by Seanbaby
In this manual you will learn deadly, forbidden techniques to dismember a man completely, such as Make Yourself Big and Tiny Step. When the authorities find you knee deep in the quivering gore of your many enemies, remind them that you bowed first and are therefore unprosecutable. Oh right, also remember to bow first – we should’ve started with that.
Best of Punching Day #5: Billy Karate by Brockway
Much of Brockway’s Hot Doggery this year was delivered via jumpkick over modestly priced sports car. Billy Karate made its debut as a serial right here on 1900HOTDOG, and has now been pulled because they might be making it into an actual movie. This is all just here to remind you that the world is very stupid in ways you will never predict or understand. You must face it head on, with full heart, eager fists, and a mouthful of KIAI!
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If these images are borked, you can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.
Comments
Makes me wonder what craft services would be like--a couple bags of long-expired white bags of chips that just has in large black block letters "Картофельные чипсы", a couple of gas station tuna sandwiches that are an unusual color that no mortal dare eat, and three milk jugs with "Water", "Marine Quencher", and "Neptune's Sunrise Glory" Sharpied on, and a single red party cup that Sean scrawled his name on already.
Dean Costello
2022-12-14 18:57:37 +0000 UTCCould probably be pulled off, I'm pretty sure it's both feasible for and only possible to be made on a budget of approximately $89.95 and a few coupons.
Swift Justice
2022-12-14 08:44:40 +0000 UTCSo many great Punching Days this year. Probably a good thing Billy Karate was pulled or the whole article might have just been those. Hotdog punched the living shit out of 2022!
Bonnybedlam
2022-12-14 02:26:05 +0000 UTCThat's the thing--I didn't know, or more precisely didn't remember, that the script was pulled until I read this article.
Dean Costello
2022-12-13 21:54:15 +0000 UTCWhy would they have pulled the script if the movie option was just a "bit"?
Daphne Lawless
2022-12-13 20:50:34 +0000 UTCIf Cynthia Rothrock isn't in Billy Karate, I'm not watching it.
Matt Edwards
2022-12-13 20:37:43 +0000 UTCExactly. I figured it was a bit, like on his personal Patreon page when he intros old Cracked/Atom articles, like: I used to work for a site that wanted to entertain, educate, and train wolves to be my house servants. We were successful at two of the three. Do I have to destroy old copies I downloaded? Will Robert have Sean negotiate option rates for him?
Dean Costello
2022-12-13 18:26:05 +0000 UTCIf I were punched by Billy Karate, I would die happy. Immediately die, with an exploded heart, but happy.
Jeff Orasky
2022-12-13 18:07:27 +0000 UTCBrockway mentioned it in the Billy Karate articles but i always assumed it was a bit he was doing.
DoItForDio
2022-12-13 18:06:52 +0000 UTCWait: Billy Karate is going to be a movie, maybe?
Dean Costello
2022-12-13 14:58:52 +0000 UTCIf Brockway is interested, I'd like to make an offer on the Porsche in the Billy Karate poster.
CHAUGGLE
2022-12-13 13:12:07 +0000 UTC
