~Marvel: Loki X Listener SFW: Chronic~ {Patreon Exclusive}

He might not understand from experience, but as a nonhuman, he holds quite a refreshing perspective.

Contains: Established Relationship, Petname (My Dear), Referenced Chronic Condition, Comfort, Reassurance

As someone who lives with chronic pain and chronic conditions, there are times where I fluctuate between "it is what it is" and "wow this is awful I hate everything", and sometimes it's hard to remember that the world is not catered to those with chronic conditions, and that's not our fault! This audio really came forth from the idea of just wanting to be given comfort and reassurance that one's worth is not determined by what they can do and what pain or condition they can—or more realistically, are forced—to push through. So I hope that those who relate find this comforting!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Loki: I have known pain.....but not one such as this....

-pause-

Why—I—-sighs softly-—you do not need to apologize, My Dear.....you're the one who is suffering.....

-hushes softly-

I know.......I assume you apologized because apologizing for your condition feels better than the waning sympathy and sometimes outright apathy that others have towards it, so you 'beat them to the punch' as it were.....

-long pause-

You know I'm not one to mince words, My Dear.....but I do apologize I suppose for putting it out in the open for you when you're already in this state....

-pause-

Do you need anything? Water, a heating pack? Those little pills your earth physician gave you?

-long pause-

-softly-

....Of course I'll stay here.....

-long pause-

I wish there was more that I could do for you, My Dear.....but even my magics cannot change this......

-hushed-

Despite how much we might both wish for the opposite.....

-pause-

Of course I'll play with your hair.......

-long pause-

Believe me when I say that you are not be a burden, and that your complaints are understandable and rather mild considering your circumstance......

-pause-

-chuckles softly-

You forget who I was raised with.....when Thor was younger and he fell ill or was injured to the point of limited mobility, you would not believe the whingeing that sprouted forth from his mouth.....

-pause-

While we may be immune to Midgardian illnesses, that does not mean we are immune to everything.....but to be fair, Thor was mostly only inhibited by injuries.....that he caused himself by being well......himself.....

-pause-

Meanwhile, as I said, your complaints are entirely understandable......

-long pause-

I know there are times that you feel like you're going insane, that you wish with all your heart you could do one thing that doesn't aggravate your condition and make things worse.....

-pause-

There are many who take their able bodies for granted.....

-pause-

Besides, for the most part, you keep your complaints relatively to yourself.....

And at the risk of "calling you out" again, I must say....not usually for your own benefit.....

-pause-

Ah yes......how do you talk about something that affects most if not all aspects of your life without others writing you off; saying that you're using it as an excuse, or that it couldn't possibly be affecting you that much, or that you're too young or the thousand other responses that spew from the mouths of those who refuse to have empathy for their fellow humans.

-pause-

It is also unfortunate that many who have able bodies—or even those who have their own aches and pains and conditions but do not experience them chronically—cannot or will not take the time to imagine what their life would be like if they were in your position......

All they see is someone who isn't "trying" hard enough.....not working hard enough.....or someone who is exaggerating their condition.....

And so you're expected to just push through, to work or to care for yourself at the 'acceptable societal standard' even if doing so will literally set you back days if not weeks or months....

All they see worth in is how much you 'contribute' to the world.....and if you aren't 'contributing'....then you have no worth....

Which is frankly completely and utterly mad.

-pause-

You don't need to 'contribute' anything to be worthy of life, of, care, of sympathy......

-pause-

And honestly all of that jealousy seems to originate from this world's seemingly tired and unending death grip on capitalism and how you're only worth anything if you sell yourself to do it, but that's not entirely the point of what we're talking about, is it?

-chuckles softly-

-soft kiss-

-softly-

While I have not experienced your condition or the many others that afflict humans, I can only imagine the turmoil that has come from navigating and accepting it. Accepting that it will be with you always, and that your life is unfortunately dictated by something that is not within your control....

And I do know, that unfortunately you have been left with the choice of either 'deal with it and keep living' or 'succumb', and that with a chronic condition it does eventually turn into "It is how it is" or that you're used to it......but that doesn't mean that you have to keep all of your frustrations inside.....you are allowed to lament the fact that you have to make choices based on your health, and not simply based on your wants and your needs outside of it, and that making a choice based on your health is not always easy.

You are allowed to be frustrated—Hel, even downright furious—that for so many, your life and your worth is determined by how much you can suffer......

But it is not, is the thing......and that as well—I can imagine—is difficult to remember when there what feels like a chorus of voices trying to tell you differently.....

-pause-

And you are allowed to mourn the life you thought you’d have……

-long pause-

All that is to say.....around me.....you need not apologize for your perfectly well justified frustrations about your condition......

I will always hear you out....

-pause-

And even in the quiet days, where you cannot find the words or are too tired to voice them, I will still be here.....helping in any way that I can.....

-pause-

Your condition may be chronic.....but all that means is that your needs are different.....

-long pause-

-slight disbelieving chuckle-

Why?

....Well......

-soft kiss-

Because to me....you are worth it....