~The Witcher: Jaskier X Listener NSFW: Writer's Block~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Maybe helping Jaskier relax and distracting him from his music might actually help work him through his writer's block.

Contains: Dirty Talk, Kissing, Bathing, Body Worship, Handjob, Nicknames (Darling, Dear)

Jaskier relaxing I feel is like trying to get a herding dog not to herd. I thought him having writer's block would be eternally annoying to him, but having a lovely muse distract him would be fun, so that's kind of where we are! Relaxation through distraction lol. Jaskier is eternally fun to play, and I hope you enjoy some of the silly wordplay along with Jaskier trying to rhyme things with the word, "Bosom" lol. 

Sorry it's not quite as long as other NSFW audios, but I felt like the narrative stopped well there!

 ~Audio Transcript Below~

Jaskier: *humming while plucking notes*

No......

Bosom......bosom......*hums softly*

Darling? Can you think of any word that rhymes with bosom? The only thing coming to my mind that would be remotely close is schism and unfortunately that isn't conjuring the sort of image and story I'm trying to weave.

*pause*

Because I’m trying to come up with a new song to sing at the countess’s gala to wow the crowd and perhaps get my name more associated with other things besides a Witcher….which I’m glad for, but…..*sighs* 

Honestly now I know how all the bards who have famous songs feel....it's the only thing that anyone ever wants to hear me play......

What I mean is that would be different if I had a few famous songs in my repertoire…..at this point, it's still just, "Toss a Coin" this and "Toss a Coin" that. Which is why I'm trying to expand.

*pause*

To be perfectly fair, I think most people enjoy a good pair of bosoms, whether they be a lady’s or a gentleman’s or anything in between. It's not mutually exclusive......

*pause*

What was the image I was trying to evoke? *sighs* Well.....it doesn't matter, it wasn't working anyways.....nothing has been working right trying to write things as of late, unfortunately......it seems like my genius writing mind has stalled out on me.....and I don't much appreciate it.....

I would normally say that I’m in need of a new muse but….with you….there is no other muse I could possibly need….

I fear writer’s block has simply camped out in my brain and refuses to leave me....which is rude but unfortunately happens....perhaps when I'm swept away on another adventure with you I'll be inspired.

*pause*

Hm? Relax about it? I never really thought of that....so much of my life, my love has been surrounded by creating and playing music for people.......perhaps you're right....perhaps I'm burnt out.....Maybe I should take a rest from writing….a vacation......nothing's going to come out how I like it…. I'm just trying to grind away at it without any success.....

Thank you for the suggestion darling......

I wonder though, how that would be accomplished.....you know as well as I do that it's hard to turn---well this off.....brain is always working a thousand miles per hour and sometimes it feel nearly impossible to stop so it might be a--

*pause*

Right…..that’s not helping...letting myself spiral and overthink about…..relaxing…..*chuckles*

Do you have any suggestions, darling?

Oh! Hello there, you’re naked…...if I’d have only known I wouldn’t have been wasting my time trying to force a song…..

*pause*

You did tell me….didn’t you? I….was….wrapped up…..right…...I apologize…..Is there….something I can do to make up for it?

*pause*

Oh, you want me to bathe with you.....is this a......chaste venture......or are you planning for this to devolve into something a little more.....steamy?

*laughs* Oh---I didn't even realize---of course it's going to be steamy, you're--*gasps into kiss*

*chuckles softly* Of course......I'll forgo the explanation.....*swallows* Steamy then? I think I can do that......

*pause*

Naked first.....right....of course.......

*shuffling*

*laughs* Ah yes, "The young bard puzzled with bosom, struck without an idea so fulsome.....his muse naked and wanting, did say he should come, and stop being struck so dumb."

*soft kiss*

You see? You being my muse is working……*clears throat softly* For more than one reason…

Well I can hardly be blamed for getting excited so quickly when you look the way that you do……

*sighs softly into kiss*

Right…..hot water…..relaxing……..after you?

I’m nothing if not polite and chivalrous……

*chuckles* When I choose to be…..

*hisses in through teeth*

Oh that’s boiling….it’s…….*sighs deeply* Wonderful…...

You…..you definitely had the right idea, Darling…….*hums* This feels magnificent…..

*pause*

Here…..why don’t you lay back against my chest…..I’d love to be able to feel your heated skin against my fingers…..

*chuckles* I have a way with words, Darling, what can I say?

*shuffling*

*hums softly* 

*soft kisses* I know your intention was to have me relax…..but trust me my muse…..I find this……quite relaxing….despite what my prick might be indicating….

*stutters a moan into kisses* And you wriggling your arse against it isn’t doing me any favors…..

*sighs softly* The smell of your skin will never be anything more than pleasant to me…..don’t worry Darling…..

*hums a chuckle* It seems as though you’re quite excited as well hm? Do my words send thrums of pleasure through you? Prickling up and down your spine until they settle in a gentle but thrumming warmth in your lower stomach?

It’s my pleasure to give you pleasure Darling…..I want my words to make you shiver along with my touches…..I want your eyes to roll back into your head while I touch you……

The way that your muscles clench and flex yet relax in turn as I tease you in your most intimate places….setting your blood ablaze with desire and pleasure……

*soft pants and moans*

*kissing and soft moaning*

You are divine….I could not ask for a more blessed wonderful darling as yourself…..so gorgeous in the throws of passion…..

*soft panting and moaning*

*hums, then gasps*

Oh? Becoming more assertive are we? *moans softly* I’d like to say that I wasn’t intrigued by the prospect however--*swallows*--I think my prick would betray my words……

“Speaking of which?” what do you mean by--*gasps*

*tightly, but with a smile* Ah. Yes…..of course…..how could I be so foolish?

Oh-h….the----the tight grip…..that’s….oh gods…..f-fuck….that’s good….

*chuckles* I-I know it hasn’t even been that long since we’ve been intimate together…...doesn’t mean that you still don’t rile me up as if it were the first time…..

I am a man of my words, Darling……*moans*

Who might be reduced to few if you continuuEUUE~ in that manner!

*panting and moaning*

*through pants and moans*

H-how….with only your fingers…..can you bring such pleasure? Are you sure you’re not a witch of some sort who’s bewitched me? *panting* If that were the case…..I don’t know if I would be that opposed…..considering how captivating you are besides….

*chuckles* Yes I am still talking…..*hisses through teeth* Not through you lacking in trying of course……

*panting* Y-Yes…..however you’ll have me…..

*kisses*

*moaning and panting through kisses*

*pulls away, through harsher pants and moans*

How it is….that you---ah!---manage to turn me into….a moaning...m-mess….oh yes….s-so easily? It’s never been this way f-for me…...you are truly….something magical….something special…….Oh--fuck~!

F-faster? If--*swallows*--if you go faster, Dear…...I might not last very long…..

*moans sharply*

*chuckles tightly* Y-You’re right…..the night…..the night is very indeed young…….

*moaning and panting*

Oh---Oh close! Y-yes!!!

D-Darling...p-please! Yes...yes! YES!

*Gasps and moans sharply*

AHhhhaaaAHAAAaa~

Oh---! Haaaa~ T-too much…..t-too much! P-Please!

*harsh panting*

*chuckles* We…..we probably should have…..fully cleaned ourselves…….before….we got the water all soiled…..

*pause*

*chuckles* Well please forgive me…..your hands are decidedly hard to ignore when they’re tugging on my prick so nicely……

*kisses*

Here…..why don’t we call to have the water changed and I…..return the favor? *lowly* I can only imagine how much inspiration I’ll gain from watching your face writhing in ecstasy while I take you apart….

*chuckles lowly* It would be my pleasure…….