50 Shades of Gennin: Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Where Does it Start?

Hinata turned to the right. She turned to the left. She turned to the right again, then the left again, then frowned. The hem of her dress swished around her ankles as she watched her reflection in the mirror. She turned away, beginning to tug the dress off.

“This one isn’t right either,” she said.

“It’s fine. It’s better than fine, actually. Hinata, you look stunning.”

On the other side of a cozy dining room, Kurenai was shaking her head at Hinata. The older woman was sitting next to a six-year-old, who was scribbling with colored pencils, yet it was Hinata that Kurenai was looking at like a child.

“You can be honest,” Hinata said. “The color doesn’t go with my shoes. Or my eyes. Or— anything, really.”

“This is Naruto you’re meeting, right?” Kurenai asked.

“Yes?” Hinata said. 

Kurenai gave her a flat look. “That boy hasn’t once in his life paid attention to how someone’s shoes match their dress. I don’t even want to imagine how he would dress without his mother around to keep him straight. Orange jumpsuits, probably.” She paused, her red eyes sharpening. “Besides… Since when did you care what he thought?”

“It’s bad practice to show an unflattering side to a fiance my family picked out,” Hinata protested.

“Uh-huh. That’s why you showed up to the first meeting grumpy and half asleep. What changed?”

“I guess I just… came around to things a bit?”

The six-year-old looked up. “Mommy, Hinata looks funny.”

“She definitely does, Mirai.”

“Like a tomato,” Mirai said.

Hinata clamped a hand over either cheek, trying to force down the blush that had swept her face. It didn’t work. Since when could even children see through her?

“You know, I didn’t ask this before, but I always wondered,” Kurenai said. “Why did you hate him so much in the first place?”

“Because he—-”

For the first time in her life, Hinata couldn’t come up with a reason. Why did she hate Naruto? Because she always hated him. But where did it start?

He was loud? So was Kiba, and she never developed the same amount of distaste for the Inuzuka. 

He was arrogant? So was Sasuke, and Hinata found the Uchiha heir pleasant to be around, much as that admission would rankle her clan. 

He hardly left the village, living off his family connections instead of his skill as a ninja?

That one felt ridiculous to even think. She knew now that his seals did more for Konoha than most shinobi managed in a lifetime… And if anyone were throwing stones from a glass house on a topic like this one, it was Hinata herself.

“It’s fine.” Kurenai’s voice jolted her out of her thoughts. “I just think that if not even you know… Then maybe it’s time to let those feelings go.”

“I understand,” Hinata said.

It was sound advice— well-reasoned, well-intended, and politely delivered. It was also completely unnecessary.

Without any advice like that…

Hinata’s feelings had already changed all on their own.

O-O-O

There were twenty-seven grains in the wooden dining counter in front of her. Hinata thought it was twenty-eight on first inspection, but after four recounts, she was confident in her assessment.

“—then she says, ‘Let me show you the new medical ninjutsu I learned. Just hold still for a minute, while I make a practice dummy!’” 

Hinata giggled despite herself. When Naruto told his story, he put on a goofy falsetto to indicate when Sakura was speaking, and lowered his voice like a gorilla when mimicking Sasuke. The voices were funnier than the stories of Team Seven’s misadventures, which Naruto often forgot so many crucial details to that they were rendered impossible to follow.

“No Minato this time?” Ayame asked. The waitress arrived with six bowls stacked on a broad tray that it took her two hands to carry. Four of them were for Naruto, and two were for Hinata. The rest of the blond’s order was still on its way.

“Nah, just us,” Naruto said.

Ayame smiled. Hinata expected her to stay and chat, given her friendly personality from their first meeting, but instead the waitress retreated hastily back into the kitchen. Hinata caught her peeking out from behind a shelf toward the back, pretending to have left. When Ayame saw Hinata still looking at her, she offered a thumbs up.

That only made Hinata blush.
 Somehow, talking had gotten harder. Naruto always spoke more when they were around each other, but Hinata never found it so difficult to add her own comments. Now, each time she was ready to say something, she second guessed it and the moment passed.

It made her feel awkward, even if Naruto seemed impervious to such feelings. So she grabbed her chopsticks as quickly as Naruto, digging into her noodles.

Neither of them spoke now. Hinata was so engrossed in looking busy that she didn’t notice until she was finished that Naruto still had a bowl left to go.

She blinked, and his last bowl was cleaned out by the time she opened her eyes again. Even if he had twice as much to go through as she did, the fact that she’d eaten at remotely the same pace was startling. Naruto himself looked impressed.

“Be honest,” he said, causing Hinata to tense. “You’ve been sneaking back here to practice in your free time.”

She relaxed. Perhaps it was the ramen in her belly, but she had no problem answering this time.

“I did not practice eating ramen,” she promised.

“So it was just that good?”

“...it is quite tasty, yes.”

Naruto pumped both his fists. Hinata couldn’t help but smile. He looked so happy at times like this— when he shared his ramen, his seals, or his favorite club.

A moment later, Hinata’s smile fled. Every time she remembered him looking this way, it was always about their deal. It was showing her his own joys, and watching her take to them, that excited him so much. But had he ever acknowledged the relationship they were supposed to have?

“Naruto…” Hinata said. “What do you think about the agreement our parents created?”

“You mean the marriage thing?” Naruto said. “I think it’s crap.”

Hinata’s heart sprung a leak and sank into her gut. She told herself she shouldn’t react this way— up until a few days ago, she’d convinced herself that Naruto was the worst man in the village. But she had realized that was ridiculous, hadn’t she? And now she was here, in a dress she spent so long picking out, wishing she had an earth affinity so she could sink into the ground.

“I see,” Hinata said.

“I mean, they didn’t even ask us, did they? That’s not right. The people you surround yourself with should be your choice. That way, even if you pick super badly, you don’t have anybody to punch in the face for it except yourself— and I don’t know if you’ve tried, but it’s impossible to get any kind of power with your arm bent like that.” 

He leaned right into her personal space smiling brightly, and for some reason this made Hinata’s waterlogged heart dip completely beneath the waves.

“Don’t worry though,” he said conspiratorially, “my promises to show you seals and places like this were my choices, and I never go back on those. It’ll be all the good stuff, without anything hanging overhead.”

“Amazing,” Hinata said, forcing a smile.

It felt bittersweet. To be honest, she was glad she would keep seeing him. And yet she was scared. After a month was up, and their deal was done, would that be it?

Sasuke’s voice (of all people) infiltrated her head. His words the day before filtered back to her, from the discussion about those corny romance characters. ‘They don’t stop chasing what they want…’

Just yesterday Hinata realized how long she’d gone without following her desires. And now she was sitting here, doing it again, letting her clan dictate everything. She assumed that without the marriage arrangement, Naruto would be lost to her. If her clan wasn’t telling her to take it, then it couldn’t be hers.

Screw that.

“Did I ever tell you about the Caged Bird Seal you freed me from?” Hinata asked.

“No? Just that you could be killed for not having it.”

“Of course,” Hinata said. “We Hyuuga have the Byakugan.” She activated it as she spoke, causing the veins to bulge out. She was looking straight toward the Ichiraku kitchens, but that hardly mattered when her three-hundred-sixty degree vision let her observe Naruto as if she was staring straight at him. “This is what makes us special. In a way, it’s all we have.”

“What about that soft fist stuff?”

“Gentle Fist. It’s the ultimate form of taijutsu… but anyone with our eyes could learn it. And these eyes are useful for so much more. They see further, observe things more clearly, and ensure no one can sneak up on us. But without them—” Hinata’s Byakugan shut off as she turned to Naruto, tilting her head “—we’re just ordinary people. Because of this, we can never lose them.”

“Which makes you seal each other?”

Hinata could hear the disbelief in his voice. She shook her head.

“There are too many of us. If anyone could steal any of those eyes for themselves, it would not be long before every village had access to them.” She would know. “So a system was devised. That seal doesn’t just harm us. When a branch member dies, it ensures their eyes die with them. If they are kidnapped, it ensures they can be killed before any damage is done.”

“Branch members? What, are you guys secretly trees?”

Hinata hid a smile behind her hand. “That just means they aren’t from the main family. The main family only has two people, and they remain unsealed. They’re much more skilled, so the chance of them being killed or captured is lower, or at least that’s the excuse. Really, they use the seal to keep their position, so that the branch family doesn’t overwhelm them.”

“And they actually kill their family with the seal?”

“Very rarely. More often it’s used to cause pain, just to teach them a lesson. I got the seal when I lost my position as heiress, because they were worried I would challenge my sister later. That’s what the seal’s true power is. As soon as you have it, you can never go against the family again. You’re stuck— like a bird in a cage.”

Lanterns hanging along Ichiraku’s gutter warmed the booth seats they were sitting in. The wind blew past, scattering Naruto’s hair slightly.

“That completely sucks,” he said.

Hinata jolted.

He said it straightforwardly, allowing no room for doubt. It was a fact. No one would disagree with him. He just spoke his honest reaction, without thinking twice, and told it like it was.

It all clicked into place for Hinata.

She always called him arrogant, because she had to live with her head down. She demeaned him for being loud, because she was forced to stay silently. She complained that he lived an easy life without looking over his shoulder, because Hinata could never stop looking over hers. She hated that he was free, because she wasn’t. It was never about Naruto. From the very beginning it had been about her. It was only now, after spending time with him, that she was beginning to break those habits. She could not afford to lose that now.

Recognizing that she had been living in fear was only one step. In order for anything to change, she had to take the first step herself.

O-O-O

Hinata entered her father’s office the next morning. The moment he saw her, Hiashi lowered what he was reading. He smiled slightly, pouring tea from a kettle into two sets of cups; one in front of him, the other in front of a chair for guests.

“Hinata,” he greeted.

“Father.” She bowed. She didn’t sit, nor did she take the cup he had filled. “I hoped to speak with you.”

Hiashi lifted his cup, taking a sip. “How goes your task?”

“Well, it’s about that.” Hinata met his eyes. “I’m backing out of the marriage arrangement.”

The tea cup slipped from Hiashi’s fingers, shattering against the floor.