weekly dev log #18, october 9th, 2023

Preptober is in full swing! Coding (and revision. heh) has taken a backseat as I spent all of last week doing deep dives into what makes writing fun for me- listing genres, tropes, themes, and characters that I adore and why I adore them. Basic stuff that gets me thinking and puts me in a creative mood. I carried no less than 9 books from the library to read, and finished four in the last week alone. It's very exciting to get to rediscover all of this! It feels like I'm renovating the foundation of my writing. 

I'm not sure I will work on one thing exclusively this whole week, so here's a general outline of what I have left to do in preptober:

• Finishing my preptober brainstorm: I’m not only completely rewriting ouro’s timeline, but I am outlining a secret, super indulgent project for days when I need a breath of fresh air.

• Character arcs fully planned: While I have one big outline for ouro with major beats planned for every character, I never made one for each of the characters arcs, diving into a scene-by scene breakdown of said arcs. It has gotten me confused and hesitant more than once, so I think it’s time I did it thoroughly. (This is the very first project I’ve ever outlined, I’m usually more of a pantser, but that is far too difficult to pull off with an IF)

• Binding my own nano planner: Fun! I am using a template from Heart Breathings, but binding and handwriting/sketching it myself. A girl needs her artproject-on-the-floor time.

• Revision on ouro and finishing the code: look, this one is a doozey. Obviously the revisions and coding are taking a backseat as I rewrite the timelines and arcs, but I am hoping to get any work that I can done, as it will be my main project for nano. There is so much to change. So many loose ends. I'm still wrapping my head around it. Planning has to get done first, and then I go back to revising. Coding happens whenever I feel smart. I'm hoping that I can bounce between rewrites and new content in november; I’m not expecting myself to finish the twine demo during nano, but I hope I get close to it.

I'm balancing my workouts, my meals and my social time in hopes that I can manage my burnout symptoms better come november- I’ve gone to psychiatrists and doctors and explained about my cognitive decline, the brainfog and general malaise, giving them examples(and full daily logs of symptoms...) of what it might be (autistic burnout, undiagnosed ADHD) but they are not as helpful as one might think. Only my therapist has enough sympathy to keep referring me around. One doctor told me I might be suffering from long covid after getting omicron in -21, but had no further recommendations other than ‘take your vitamins’ (even though I had no deficiencies in blood tests). Rage-inducing and hopeless. But I am doing my best to work around it, not pushing myself too far, but not letting myself fall into the deepest deep of apathy either. Like I said in earlier dev-logs, I'm still discovering when to push and when to back off. And I have to say, going back to basics always helps me. It's all about rediscovering why I want to write, what I want to write, and shedding some of the unhelpful stuff I picked up while hanging out on the cog-forum (sorry to anyone who loves it there, but it did nothing good for me lol).

I keep writing these long dev logs haha! I hope you bared with me, because I wanted to say thank you, so much, for sticking with me. You are my biggest motivators. I have been in my hidey-hole for a while now, and I miss hanging out in voicechats on disc and answering asks on tumblr.  Sadly, my mental health only allows for so much right now. I can't wait for my energy and my natural enthusiasm to resurface- I know it's there. I feel it. I just have to coax it out.

Hope you have a wonderful week. x