Lou Roth

devlog #41, <em> :3 </em>

I KNOW I said I was going to take a break but I am apparently insane. (I am taking it easy, though. Taking the pressure off and not keeping up with regular devlogs does a lot of good for my nervous system for some reason, so thank you, eternally, for letting me do that. )
The legal separation from my ex went to hell. Apparently all he had to do was submit a falsified document and now I just don't have the funds to pursue this legally anymore... Bleugh. I felt like I had to focus on somet...

devlog #40, cavernous echo

So. Hello. I haven’t been on here because I hit a point… well, it’s a burnout. I don’t feel motivated to work on ouro at all, in the practical sense, because I have been having both active day- and sleepy-dreams about it. It's in the peripheral.
But i left it at that, and focused on life outside of this sphere: work, law stuff coming to a head, and studying (MAN. Do you want to talk about Hilma af Klint??? YEAH? I’m doing art history doggystyle. I need to do a seance. et...

#39, and I.... open? (a flick of the hinge)

Hey patrons, just so you know: I'm not ignoring that this place exists. I'm working on several somethings, but chief among them is a shift that is deeply personal, deeply painful, and I'm fighting myself every step of the way. I have no idea if I'm brave enough to step into this new version, this new era of myself, still. But I find myself doing it, day by day. I fuck up constantly. I am scared. I feel too vulnerable. I want to simply, die. Dissipate. Go back into my hole. Yet, I am trying to...

devlog #38, :3 [revised title: >:3]

Me, to myself at 3am of the first Spring Day, on the student website hovering over some courses: You absolutely cannot derail your plan no matter how much you want to be an author/gamemaker/whateverthefuckthisis!!! It is not sustainable!! You wild, rumpled, mess of a thing. Do not do it.

Also me, gimlet-eyed and positively salivating from all face-orifices (re: rabid racoon-esque, very Fashion of me.) at 4am of...

devlog #37, mmmm. yeah. that's the good stuff.

Hello!

I've written a lot during the past two weeks. I'm finding a way back to myself, and my style, it feels like. I've coded nothing again (sorry). The "completed" UI was dropped into my inbox, and while I had doled out pretty specific instructions for the final thing, this dev took the free UI template I sent him to inspire, and barely made any changes himself bar changing some images and minor changes. I could have done that myself in one afternoon, so safe to say, I am... disappoi...

devlog #36, [ANGST.]

A watched pot never boils. It's the third of february and ever since december 20th, something has been brewing. Its been brewing, and brewing, and the surface has foamed and the oils have fractured into perfect mirror-like ponds before fracturing again, and again, but it hasn't boiled.
I'm in a similar state, currently. If you couldn't tell.
I've been biting and chewing and eating the frog first, trying to make headway on ouro as I am desperately trying to get control of the wild-horse...

devlog #35, [white-knuckling the sink] I'm back, baby!

Sorry! You caught me at the inauguration of Caligul-- sorryy-- never mind. That's too much credit, right? Right? Let's all breathe, yes? Ok. Hugs all around. Let's go.

At any point in time during my recent days, there is at least five hundred and eleventyfive pressing things on my to-do list. I'm fighting for my life with lawyers and the way they are gouging, no, blazing holes in my credit, but simultaneously they are gracing my life with their hard work becaus...

devlog #34, the great yonder smacked me in the face like a wet trout

In manus tuas, Domine, commendo spiritum meum. It was my very symbolic thought as I turned the key to my new apartment. Nothing but the final words of Mary Queen of Scotts, before her execution, felt fitting enough to ease this transition. It translates to into thy hands, o Lord, I commend my spirit.

And that's basically how these past weeks have been. I tossed myself into the riptide of life, and let it take me. There was the whole ordeal of getting stuff for the...

devlog #33, the swell of progress

Ya'll! DO I have news for you. Not only is ouro chugging along a winding path towards the finished demo, but I am also on the ever moving train of progress. I FINALLY got an apartment! Yippee!!!! It's a newly renovated flat with an adorable kitchen and a balcony with a fantastic view. I hope I will get to show some of it to you, especially as I am thinking of experimenting with the format of dev logs in the coming months. No promises, as I will be wholly focused on studies and the demo first ...

devlog #32, leveling up souls style [by dying a thousand times]

Hello! I'm writing you from the trenches of apartment hunting, student-funding issues and the footnote reformatting hell that uni is. I'm beaten black and blue by the stress that is battering me from every angle, I'm not gonna lie. Nana's hip is worsening and I'm only finding apartments that are on the top floor with only stairs. And because of the crazy queueing system here, although I have been in it for 15 years, it's not even sure I get any of them. I went to see three this ...

oh, we are Cooking

It's looking better than ever. I have a really exciting devlog brewing for next week. eep! yay! yippee!

dev log #30, The Big Shift

After a Very Hectic couple of weeks, I'm sitting down writing you on my new puter AND after my first day back at uni! Well, I'm not really in the program I want to study yet because I was way past the due date of applying, but thanks to a student counselor that truly had my back, I'm in some side-classes until May just so I could get the student status and the benefits that come with it. Part one of that is me being able to quit my sidejobs (well, not so much quitting as just not taking on an...

dev log #29, sneek peek at UI and a roadmap

Hi hello! Hope you're all well. Things are happening!! This past week I was so out cold from the flu I had to focus on "just" working, and since I noticed that the engagement for healers hands dropped I just decided not to stress about it too much. This weekend I got swept away on a surprise Halloween trip to a llama ranch (!!) here in Sweden AND when I got back my brother stopped by with a laptop that had a copy of Dragon Age The Veilguard on it. To say that it soothed me and that this past ...

The Healers Hands, chapter 4.

Hello! Ugh, I have my foot in some literary goop right now, and the other in the quicksand of a body that is constantly fighting me. Throughout today I have had something brewing in my chest, like a hot piece of coal right between my lungs, and sometime after lunch time, it bloomed. I got a fever so high that my eyes were completely glossed over and I couldn’t take staring at the screen for more than 10 minutes at a time. I tried taking a nap, but it just got worse. Besides that, I'm not lo...

The healers hands, chapter 3. (and a little of chapter 4)

Peace and love on planet earth. I know some of you saw my comments on last weeks chapter, how I was dissatisfied with it. And for a while, I just couldn’t figure out why; well, I knew it was my prose, mainly. How I went from sentence to sentence just describing events. I was all about plot, and barely touched on the heart of it. That is a remnant of finishing the draft of ouro at lightning speed. (It is also why it is Taking A While to edit, if you were wondering.) Writing like half a mill ...

The Healers Hands, chapter 2.

Phew! I usually post at six pm my time here, and now it is eight, but that is because I worked my first overtime shift at the servicedesk! I have to writhe in misery a little and say that working the two jobs and writing this throughout the week is a pain in the ass, but I feel so accomplished at the end of the day. I still haven't heard if I got the apartment or not, and it's causing me to toss and turn at night, but gods know I'm remaining as hopeful as I can. It is a weird time in my life...

The Healers Hands (are the bloodiest)

Hello friends! I have a little something for you; I was going to write smut, and you’ll probably tell where in the story I tried to steer it in that direction, but it wasn’t happening. I think I’d like to build up some tension first, and it got me thinking. What if I made this short story into a prequel of sorts, where you can romance or get deeper into your previous relationship with Leith? Obviously nothing is custom in this little drabble, but it could be. I’m thinking of doing it ...

An update and a question for you!

Hello everyone! I sit here with my warm ginger tea and my dog pressed against my thigh, bundled in blankets with rain pit-pat-pattering down on the roof, wanting to deliver some positive news. And I think I might have some!

I have been hunting for an apartment since the day after I moved out, and that rabid search might just have paid off. I got news from the real estate agency that if I can pay a deposit on November 1st they will waive the requirement of me having a current full time ...

Uprooted and soon to be repotted.

Well. Here's an update on why I'm pausing for a while, even though the build is almost done.
I'm sorry if the formatting is weird, I am writing this on my phone and patreons layout is all kinds of wonky!





Hi everyone! Not the post I wanted to make (because I was getting super close to releasing the demo! The timing couldn't be worse, but also, I don't think I could physically push myself any longer without some kind of change...) but. life has lifed again and I h...

environment concept art

So... Recently I bit the bullet and decided to go for some art classes to learn to create my own environment art. It's been a lifesaver for the creative juices (but for some doggone reason I always have a paint-smear somewhere, and the workroom stinks of linseed oil, lmao).
Today I completed my first digital painting after learning all these fun techniques-- I'm so excited to progress! Being able to translate the exact vibes I am going for is something else, I tell you.

Oh, a...

dev log #27, a small update

Oh hello. Wow. I hope you are all doing okay!! I never intended to go so long without updating you all-- I'm sorry, but I have had my head under water for a bit. It started fine... Ah.

I don't know if you remember but I gave myself a year to work on writing full time and all in all, I think it went great with the actual writing and finishing the first draft, and in the end, it felt good to find out just how I function while doing something like this (all the bumps in the road included...

devlog #26, I finished the first draft of book one! What now?

As you may have seen on tumblr, I finished the first draft of what is now book 1 of OUROBOROS!! Yes, that also means that the book is again a duology; I don’t yet know if I will publish book 1 and 2 separately, but the division felt natural and necessary to me. Book one ends with us getting answers to all questions posed in the beginning of the story: <...

Next character poll for art commissions!

Who's up next? Last time Yor/Yana was runner up: are they still? Cast your vote!

Idren as a blood-kell commission!

I can just imagine it now, him walking into the tavern freshly out of the baths, dressed like that; pearled moisture still clinging to the naked skin of his torso, his hair plastered to his neck. He hates the feeling of it, of any texture touching too much of his skin. He walks into the tavern and orders a tankard of some foamy beer, and then shoves himself down at one of...

Ida's commission is DONE!

Isn't she a beaut? I am in awe of her stance, her facial expression, her tats, her clothing... Everything is so spot on! There's my girl!!!

This will be art that is presented in game; and in the future, in an ouro coloring book! I am eagerly awaiting to commission this colored by the artist himself, too. ...

Ida, early morning [NSFW]

I am so close to finishing what would have been book one in the ouro duology (hm, lots of thoughts there that I don't dare to say out loud yet, but will, once I finish and get some new perspective!) and today I just felt like writing something saucy. It might have been inspired after finally moving on with the artist I am currently working with-- Igordoodles (go commission them if you are in want of a highly profe...

a dev log and an art poll

Hello beautiful people! I hope you are all doing well and making it through the longest, hardest months of the year. I'm terribly tempted to wail on about how thankful I am that you are so generous with your patience, but I am fairly sure that you are more interested in how the progress is coming along! (nevertheless, thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I could kiss you!) Let me tell you that writing is coming along great; I've passed 320k in the first draft (!!) and working on just getting ...

2024 and onwards

Hey everyone! I have no idea why but apparently my quietest month in posts has coincided with the greatest number of new subscribers. Hi? :> I hope you enjoy the backlog of posts (+ eventually new ones), and if you ever have a question or anything, I always check the patron-only discord channels and love answering your questions there! Here's an invite-link if you don't have one:

✨Discord✨

(I may have...

Heyyyyyyyyyy......... ♥︎

When I said posting would get spotty for a while, a two week halt is not what I had imagined. Gulp. Truth is, I’m really Going Through It right now— not in a bad way, but in a way that is incredibly hard to wrap my head around. On one hand, I feel better about ouro than I ever have; things are falling into place, I’m getting organized, words and art are tumbling out of me at a really sustainable pace. I breathed in the spores of It and It has integrated with me on a molecular l...

weekly bundle

trying something new! i want to post a weekly collection post for you lovely people, a sort of digest of sorts as i will try to devote more time to ouro, and less time on stressing over what to post on patreon-- at least through this period of high focus i seem to be entering. i think both of us will enjoy the result of that!
[i also haven't recieved any q's for yor/yana's q&a, so i'm optimistically taking that as a sign that you're here to support me even when i bumble around with my ...