Where Your God Is - Chapter 19

“-but the worst part of their behavior is their claim of sovereignty over the whole of this land's forests,” Kizmel explained to Asuna, who nodded firmly, having long-since been talked around to the Dark Elf's POV for the ongoing conflict. “They would deny us even basic hunting rights such that we need to feed our people!”

“That's awful!” Asuna cried, scandalized.

I sighed, turning my head to the right carefully and making eye contact with Mito, who winced and looked away, her cheeks flushing.

“Soo... A-chan might have a future as a role-player, good to know,” Argo snickered as Leafa giggled and Sinon pressed her lips together tightly. “Havin' fun there, Kii-bou?”

“No idea what you're talking about.”

My firm response only drew more snickers from the impish blond as she cupped her chin with a fully-extended thumb and forefinger, making a right angle to rest on as she smirked at me slyly. “O'rly? You're carryin' a heavy load there. Surprised you can even hear me, looks like ya' got somethin in yer rear-ops! I meant ear, slip of the tongue.”

Then she slipped around to my left side, where she knew full well I couldn't see her.

I sighed, that side of my vision completely blocked by shapely and attractive forest elf ass.

“Ha. Hah.” I stated, my tone bland and unimpressed. “3/10, the puns could have been better.”

“You shouldn't encourage her, nii-chan,” Leafa sighed as Argo lost her shit, cackling like a madwoman. “She'll just try harder.”

“Good, I have a high standard if one of the people I love is going to engage in shenanigans,” I replied airily, enjoying the sound of Argo choking on her own laughter.

“K-K-Kii-bou!” Argo squeaked.

“What, didn't hear me? Sorry, there must be something blocking my voice. I was just talking about how much I love you, Argo,” I said, increasing my volume.

Leafa giggled again, “Oooh... right. Argo's one weakness... being reminded that we love her!”

“Ack!” Argo cried out, and I could imagine her seizing like she was having a heart attack.

“Oh, what's this? The Shadowblade and Leafa are proclaiming their affection for the same woman?” Kizmel asked, gasping in surprise and delight. “But were you not wed to Lady Sinon?”

Mito and Asuna gasped, this time, stumbling audibly in shock.

“W-w-wait! Sinon! You and Ki-Ki-Kirito are m-married?!” Asuna cried out.

I groaned while Leafa continued to amuse herself at our collective suffering. “It's a game mechanic. It lets you share inventory space so that you can access a mutual pool of items and money. So if, say... one of you is on the tenth floor doing a quest and the other is on the third and runs out of an herb they need, then you don't have to risk interrupting them in the middle of combat to get a transfer.”

“Oh!” Asuna squeaked, sounding abashed. “Ah... I'm sorry for assuming.”

“Don't be!” Leafa snorted. “Argo and I have gotten married, too! And occasionally we switch it up, even!”

Sinon gave a grunt that I matched – in my head – with a severe blush. “A few times, yeah.”

Mito coughed harshly, and I think she got the innuendo being laid down. “A-anyway, yeah. It's something plenty of players did in the beta as kind of a gag, though sometimes spouses would turn on each other and kill one another for the items. There was kind of an epidemic of that at one point...”

“Truly the customs of you players are even stranger than those of the forest elves,” Kizmel shook her head. “But, then... none of you are currently wed to Kirito?”

I blinked. “Ah... no, we're not? I don't think that carried over from the beta?”

“Doesn't look like,” Sinon hummed, while Argo and Leafa gave negatives as well.

“I think it just slipped our minds, what with how busy we've been,” I said, rifling through my settings to confirm my own lack of nuptials. “We should get that fixed. I forget, is there a chapel on this floor?”

“Oh, if Kirito is unwed, then I shall make my bid!” Kizmel cried happily, running up to take my hand.

“Huh/Wha?/Uh-/Wait/Ah?”

Belatedly, I realized that my own voice was among the clueless objections to what had just happened.

Kizmel blushed as I stopped in my tracks. “You are the Shadowblade, a famed Elf Friend who has aided my people many time. You have also saved my life. I am sure my father will bless the union!”

“I, um...” I turned to Leafa with wide eyes, then back to Kizmel's purple-eyed gaze. “Umm... wh-what of Lady Sinon, who is my lover?”

Sinon made a noise that tried to be words, but failed.

Kizmel shook her head. “One thing the forest elves have kept true to our formerly-shared culture is that we are not like you players. Elves do not begrudge love between two people! Even should there be a vow between you and another to be true to each other, as long as there is no lie, it is all well and good!”

I blinked. Had that been in the game lore? That all elves were polyamorous?

“I'm suddenly reminded of the fact that most of the high-level programmers were sexually-frustrated nerd who worked eighty-hour weeks and practically lived at their offices,” I muttered into the ensuing silence of the forest surrounding us.

Now, truth be told, that wasn't an entirely fair criticism.

But, on the one hand, Japanese work culture destroyed the lives of people the people who operated within that social construct. There was a reason my language had a work which translated directly as, 'death by overwork.' The infamous Black Companies were far, far worse than the atmosphere we had at Argus, but even at a relatively upstanding company like Kayaba's employees were expected to put in a few dozen overtime hours each month.

The one time I'd tried to pull overtime, Rinko had shown up at my house with a gun and warned me off doing so very thoroughly.

Which, hey, the gun had turned out to be fake, so no harm no foul, but still.

And on the other hand, there was the lead up to Day One release for major Triple A titles, which Sword Art Online was so far beyond it wasn't even funny. Even for lower-tier games, those weeks – or sometimes months – were an insane crunch where people just fucking didn't go home.

So no, I knew for a fact that some of the programmers were married with children. I didn't exactly know how that had happened. Or, for that matter, when they'd last seen either their wife or kids. But I knew it was true.

Well, okay... I know it's either true or they're pathological liars who are gaslighting themselves into thinking they have a life outside of work, complete with photoshopped images...

...what was I thinking about?

Oh! Right!

“Did you know about this?” Sinon leaned over and whispered in my ear.

The ear that wasn't blocked by shapely elf princess butt, just to be clear.

“Contrary to popular opinion, I do not actually have enough time to memorize every line of lore that... Cardinal... outputs...” I trailed off, pursing my lips.

“Oooooh,” Argo hummed, thinking the matter over. Even if she wasn't quite as deep into the industry as I was, Argo had a network of connections she'd built during the SAO beta and playing other games. She knew leakers, understood most of the lingo, and was familiar with how detail-oriented content like this was generated.

“Yep,” I nodded. “I'm blaming the AI for this one. Cardinal has some explaining to do.”

You are in some serious trouble, young lady... right after I hug you and stop crying once I'm sure you're alive and safe.

“I-I suppose you would need some time to think about it,” Kizmel blushed, her fingers beginning to interlace with each other and her ears dipping slightly.

“I'll... ah, give you an answer after I speak with my party,” I stated awkwardly, looking around at the girls. “If-if we... um, are to wed, you would join our group, would you not?”

Kizmel blinked, jerking slightly in surprise, then nodding. “I suppose this was a bit impulsive of me, wasn't it? Still, I have tendered my offer, Shadowblade, I hope you consider it. I believe we would make a good match. Now, I should get us to the camp before our hostage wakes up and makes travel difficult.”

“I-I'm sorry... what just happened?” Asuna asked in an undertone of a hiss, looking between us.

I sighed and palmed my face. “Okay, so... I probably triggered some kind of event flag back when we took down Triniel. I gave Kizmel the princess' tiara-”

“I could have hocked that,” Argo muttered.

“-specifically because it was the kind of item that didn't have any enchantments or notable enhancements for wearing it. Pulling that kind of thing off a high-ranking enemy screams 'important event item,'” I explained.

“So you knew what you were doing, then,” Sinon stated, looking back at me from where she was now walking ahead.

“I knew I might be triggering an event flag,” I replied in a frustrated hiss, then took a breath. “Sorry, sorry... it's just... under normal conditions, I think this would have been the start of a quest to gain Kizmel's affections, now that I think about it.”

“How so?” Mito asked, her tone quietly amused. “I can't wait to hear this.”

“Okay, so I heard a rumor,” I told them slowly, “that they'd taken Kizmel off the encounters list from this floor. You were only supposed to meet her a lot later in the <<Elf War>>, and only if you'd made significant progress on the quest as a whole. That's what her whole thing about 'providing my people help' was.”

“Oh, I think I get it,” Leafa hummed as we walked, thinking it over as she started flipping up fingers on her right hand. “You accomplish a bunch of important goals within the larger questline, then you get introduced to Kizmel, then you start grinding affection-”

Argo and Mito snorted.

“-and then,” Leafa continued, audibly ignoring the two imps, “you hit more flags, like personal missions with her, and end up on a big mission to fight Princess Triniel at the end. Giving her the tiara or whatever would be the capstone achievement in the whole elf war questline.”

“That... actually makes a lot of sense,” Sinon muttered.

“Ah... I'm still a little lost?” Asuna spoke up, tentatively raising her hand. “What's going on?”

“Kii-chi's a dirty cheating cheater who cheats,” Argo replied airily, “and it's come back to bit him in the tuchus.”

“It means,” Sinon grunted, “that Kirito accidentally completed a quest to win Kizmel's affection – like a dating sim – he just did it in reverse, kind of.”

“Because I'm using my beta character, all of the values that AI companions use to judge how friendly they should be with the player are still embedded in my avatar,” I continued, thinking through the problem aloud. “Which means Kizmel... 'remembers' our interactions from the beta and is effectively resuming our relationship from that point.”

“I... think I get it?” Asuna asked, then shook her head, sending her auburn hair flying. “But, regardless, Kirito! You shouldn't play with a young woman's heart like that! Give her a firm answer one way or another!”

Sinon, ahead of us, stumbled. Leafa hunched over as she repressed a reaction.

Mito broke out into a coughing fit.

And Argo, the troll, flat-out fell over.

“Heh-hehe-hahahaha!” Argo spasmed on the ground as we all stopped to stare at her.

“What did I say?” Asuna asked, looking between the members of our group. None of us met her inquiring gaze.

“Nothing,” Sinon shook her head. “You didn't say anything, Asuna. Argo's just being Argo. Which means we should leave her to roll in the dirt, where rats belong.”

After another spate of ribbing and humor, we managed to get moving again, hustling to catch up with Kizmel. This time, though, Sinon ended up on my right, her hand reaching out for mine timidly. I grasped hers firmly and gave her a reassuring smile.

“I'm sorry,” she sighed, her shoulders dipping. “I... kind of bit your head off a little, back there, and it wasn't your fault.”

“Having another girl suddenly propose to your boyfriend is upsetting and I don't hold your reaction against you,” I replied with a shake of my head. “I think you were actually pretty reasonable in not attacking Kizmel or punching me in the face.”

Sinon snorted, her cheeks coloring, and an embarrassed smile crossed her face. “The thought occurred to me, but... it's not a huge deal. Kizmel... well, be honest. How much of a person is she?”

I hummed, thinking over the question as I saw the gates of the dark elf encampment crest over the next rise. Sturdy timbers set around a series of canvas tents, all of which marked the entrance to a <<Safe Zone>> for players to rest. I didn't see anyone else yet, thankfully, which meant that the rest of the early birds were probably either grinding encounters or doing the basic fetch quests for the first stage of the war.

“If you asked me about Cardinal, the question would be easy,” I replied thoughtfully. “Cardinal is fully self-actualized, more or less.”

So is Yui, too, wherever she is.

“But Kizmel?” Sinon asked, turning back to the dark elf that was leading us. “She's interactive, I see that much. But she ignores... uh, what would you call it? Out of character stuff? Things about the real world.”

I hummed in agreement. “It's not something she needs to be able to do as part of her function. That said, I didn't know she had this kind of questline available, either, so I don't know how much my take on things counts, honestly.”

Sinon grimaced, shooting me a look. “Do you want to?”

I was silent for a moment. “Not if it would cost me you.”

Sinon flushed a brilliant crimson as I heard Asuna and Mito gasp in the background.

“Aww... not going to get all touchy-feely with us, Kii-bou?” Argo teased, leaning on Leafa.

I rolled my eyes. “You and Leafa know how important you are to me. If I take Kizmel up on... her offer, then Sinon would be the odd one out. You two would have each other.”

Leafa nodded firmly as Argo clicked her tongue and sighed. “Yeah... part of me wants to go, 'chocolate elf, yes please!' And I won't say she's probably got sum neat rewards once you tie the knot, but... yer right, Kii-bou. It's Si-chi's call.”

“And whatever she decides, we'll support her,” Leafa nodded again, giving Argo a peck on the cheek and causing the rat to squeak and flip up her hood.

“Um... don't take this the wrong way...” Asuna muttered quietly. “B-but... um, all of you are really amazing!”

I blinked.

Sinon frowned.

Leafa smirked.

Argo, her hood up, emitted a... noise. A noise that probably indicated embarrassment. I snorted, “You totally forgot they were here, didn't you?”

Argo made another noise. That was apparently going around. I hope it wasn't contagious.

“D-did I say something wrong?” Asuna asked timidly. “I didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable, but... it's just incredible, to me, how you're all... well, together and you manage to not start a fight over something like what Kizmel did. It's... inspiring?”

Sinon, Leafa, and I were blushing deeply as Asuna heaped on the praise.

I knew Argo's ears were burning, but it was a wonder she hadn't walked into a tree with how deeply she was burrowing in her cloak-ah, she'd pinched a piece of my sister's blouse and was letting Leafa lead her.

Cute.

“Weee~eeell,” Mito drawled out awkwardly. “As much fun as all of this is, it looks like we're finally here.”

Sure enough, the gates of the dark elf encampment loomed before us. They were framed by the same huge uncut timbers that made up the rest of the wall, providing an imposing barrier upon which dark elf guards patrolled vigilantly.

“And here it is! The forward base of the Lyusula Dark Elf Clan, Pagoda Knight's Brigade!” Kizmel cried, standing proudly at the threshold. “Be welcome, friends! And find rest within our walls. Though the war may be fierce, know that as long as we hold, you will have friends to call upon for aid!”

“Thanks,” I waved at her, disregarding the pomp and circumstance, which earned me a pout before I gestured to the elf ass on my shoulder. “What do you want me to do with our hostage?

Kizmel stiffened in surprise, suddenly remembering the most pressing issue even as a groan sounded over my shoulder. “Ah, right! This way, Shadowblade! We have a holding area for prisoners.”

After a quick side-trip to put the slowly-waking Triniel into a slightly more elaborate cage that apparently served as their jail cell – which I couldn't remember if it had existed in the beta or not – I returned to find the members of my party claiming a large tent for themselves near the one that served as the general store.

That was basically the way these areas worked, both the Lyusula Clan's compound and the Argenna Castle on the other side of the floor. Your party got to lay claim to a given area to set up your personal gear and sleep in a secure location, but if all of your party left at the same time, it started a timer that, when it ran down, allowed someone else to move in and claim that now-free spot.

Both the forest and dark elf safe zones were... kind of arbitrarily large in a tricky way that had the zone expanding to fit the needs of the faction and server-load.

“Ahem!” I cleared my throat, making all of the girls look up at me. “This isn't where we want to set up shop.”

“What do you mean?” Mito asked, looking around. “This is close to the camp gates, it's got access to all of the stores and NPCs we'll need... the further we pitch camp away from here, the further we'll have to walk when we want to get anything done, let alone leave for quests.”

I rolled my eyes. “Clearly someone never dug deep into the faction they joined. C'mon. Pack up and follow me.”

The girls exchanged looks, then Leafa sighed. “Whenever Kirito does something like this, he's usually got a good point. I know we've been walking all day, but let's go.”

Argo groaned, but stowed the gear she'd taken out of storage regardless. “Ugh... alright, but if it's something stupid, I'mma reserve the right ta' smack you one, Kii-bou.”

There were noises of agreement, which meant that the algorithms for determining muscle aches and soreness were at least doing their jobs, still.

They were depressingly thorough.

“Stairs?!” Mito whined tiredly as she saw where I was leading them.

“It'll be worth it,” I replied, chuckling.

Because the dark elf encampment wasn't just plopped in the middle of the most dense section of the forest, no. It was nestled up against a sheer cliff face to its back, making it all much more defensible. If one had certain skills, they could even pick out dark elf archers atop the cliff in hidden positions for recon and observation.

But that wasn't all that was up there.

The two dark elves guarding the base of the stairs took one look at me and snapped to attantion. “Shadowblade, sir!”

I manfully ignored the snickers from everyone.

“At ease,” I replied, leading my party up. We quickly went into the cliff-face, climbing up through more secure areas filled with other dark elf NPCs. Some of these were civilians, including children.

“Okay, yeah... never knew about this...” Mito murmured.

“It only opens up if you complete a few higher-level quests for this floor,” Argo replied, clicking her tongue. “I forgot that Kii-bou would have access to it. There's some much better gear and crafting ingredients here, and better gossip, too.”

“And there's a floor up further,” Sinon jerked her head upwards, towards the ceiling as we found the second staircase. “Kirito, Leafa, and I came back down here after the next floor to get some specific stuff and do a quest we forgot about. There are private rooms for trusted members of the dark elf faction up there.”

“We only stayed in them once, and by then the rooms at the hotels on the casino floor were way better,” Leafa shook her head. “It was cool, but... yeah, it'll be way better than a tent down with everyone else.”

“We're not going there, though,” I smirked as we got to the landing and waved everyone away from the series of rooms carved into the cliff. “Because what none of you know is that, if you complete the entire quest-line and gain the title of <<Elf Friend>>, then you're allowed to go all the way up to the forest at the top of the cliff and stay at one of the standalone lookout cabins up there.”

“Wait, really?” Argo asked, blinking as I opened a nondescript door to another set of stairs, one which you could see light coming out of if you looked up. “How come you never spilled about this, Kii-bou?”

I shrugged. “Becuase Leafa's right, the rooms in the casino are way nicer. This place is basically just an Easter Egg for dedicated players who want to retread some old content. If we weren't in the specific situation we're in right now, it'd be practically useless trivia.”

“I make bank on useless trivia!” Argo cried, making the rest of the group laugh at her faux-outrage. “But, fer-realz, Kii-bou, we gotta have a sit-down about stuff like this. It'll be worth big-bucks later one, and-”

Her breath caught as we crest the top of the stairs and she caught sight of the few small homes carefully blended into the treeline, the beautiful afternoon sun glaring down, and the expanse of small pools set a few hundred meters back from the homes.

“Hot Springs!?” Mito gasped.

“Wha-really?! Asuna replied, stepping out and almost pushing Mito aside to gasp in delight.

“Eeee!” Leafa squealed in excitement.

Sinon just gaped, speechless.

“I'm guessing it was worth it?” I grinned slyly.

~~~

...and, done!

This one took a bit longer than I wanted, but my icy prison finally thawed and I needed to go out and do some errands. Nothing huge, but it ate up time.

Roads are mostly clear at this point around my neck of the woods, but there's a sizeable amount of slush about and a bit of lingering black ice, as well. I hope everyone else who's still in lockdown or dealing with winter complications is managing well enough.

That said, this is probably the last chapter for the month. A nice SAO chapter to close out the capture and transport of the forest elf princess from chapter 18.

Next chapter for SAO will feature a NSFW scene, probably with Argo.

More pressingly, I'll likely have something Sunday-ish to post with the February vote tally, so look forward to that. As it is, it'll either be Mind Games or Pokemon. Normally I'd say MG is a pretty solid choice, but my brain is buzzing about pokemon right now. Don't know why.

Hope everyone enjoys the chapter and their Friday! Hello Weekend!