Red Snapper

I amused myself so much that I want to spill all the beans.

Added 2019-01-08 20:59:02 +0000 UTC

A nipple will have to do for the spilling. Shot my Mr. Snapper as he was learning the camera.

Last night we finished the first draft of this burlesque murder mystery for February, Die, Pageant Bitches, Die. Every pageant contestant has a title suitable to the sort of business you'd find in an industrial park or strip mall. We have Miss Montreal Mattresses and Miss Dick's Dry Cleaning. (I'm Miss Ginger's Jerseys, which is hilarious because I'm true ginger and my dad was from Jersey, and the whole hockey thing.)

Anyway, Mr. Snapper and I were pecking away at the script and giving a little plug for these fictional businesses as each contestant was acknowledged after her act. I got a little crazy with the dick jokes.

For example:

Let’s hear it again for Miss Dick’s Dry Cleaning, an economical way to get rid of ring around the collar. Dick’s guarantee: do a Dick’s drop any weekday morning, you’ll be hard pressed not to be ready to suit up by evening.

I love dick and fart jokes. We sent the script to the producer last night. I hope she lets all of them slide. (badum-ching)

This is going to be a fun show. I'm co-hosting the show but not stripping that night. I may be singing instead.