Agrabah

Jafar

The Great Vizir of Agrabah probably had the worst night of his life yesterday.

He literally lived the saying: “The greater the height, the higher the fall”.

He went from Heaven to Hell in the span of some minutes.

First, he finally acquired the way of finding and accessing the Cave of Wonders, the cave where the Magic Lamp lies and waits for him to claim it. But only one could enter, only a “Diamond in the rough” said the tiger head entrance.

He sent a scum to scout, and his fate was not pretty, so while he was contemplating in how to find this “diamond in the rough” something flew over him and entered the cave without even pausing.

Someone was observing him, laying a trap, making him dance to his tune… He did all the work, and someone was ready to harvest the fruits of his labor.

He put a good distance and a disguise, and waited outside the cave. After a considerable amount of time that tested his patience, the cave literally dissolves, but the thief emerges again, flying and unscathed.

This time he took a good look at the bastard… Well, Iago, his parrot, took a good look.

He described the thief as a young man with a very pale complexion, long black hair tied in a neat ponytail. 

He will remember that. He will track the bastard that stole what is his by right!

His enemy must be a cunning individual, but he will succeed in the end.

He will not rest till it is done!

…………………

Hector P.O.V.

I used gold to buy gold.

Not my best deal, but it is what it is… Humans are so weird. It’s the same thing but in a different shape. They would not accept my gold because the rules tell them not to accept it; the rules overcomplicate their life, making it not worth accepting it.

Then I need to pay a certain amount to buy the thing that I’m selling, but in the way that society accepts it… And then the guy that is buying will need to pay a little more to turn the thing I sold him into the same thing but in a different shape.

Obviously, one of us could have skipped the legal procedures, but then we would be subject to legal action if we were caught. Someone would be punished for simply not complying with abusive laws, without hurting anyone.

They literally create a problem/obstacle, and then they sell the solution.

This is madness. I’m so glad that I will never be bound by those rules and regulations. How do people live like that? I bet they simply just do not think about it…

That’s sad…

Well, I guess if they keep the order, the system can work. It has its good sides, but in reality… Haah~ I will stop thinking about this.

Why should I care? I will just be glad that I’m not bound by it.

Too bad for the suckers. Let they continue to sell their time for money, so that they can eventually buy time again, but only when they are already too tired to enjoy it.

“Now… you little creatures. Guide me to the barracks with fruits, the best snacks in the area. I’m gonna buy some for you all.” I say to the brats around me.

Between shouts of “Yaay” and “Uhuul” I was pulled in another direction. Does this bazaar expand how far again? It’s not only in a single square; it stretches through so many streets, which makes Agrabah a labyrinth city.

Reaching our destination, I have to confess that I’m a little surprised by the arrangement of the fruits, I expected less from a desert region. The variety is pretty big, maybe because of the port, or maybe they have some system with greenhouses.

Or maybe those are magical fruits, like… those apples are too big and red to be natural. And they are not GM(Genetically Modified)? Bullshit.

I let the kids get as much as they can carry of their favorite. “Do not be greedy and eat too much. You will upset your stomach…” I think that is how it happens, I have zero parenting skills. Can fruits upset a stomach if they are eaten too much, or is it just with candy?

Talking about candy, I thought about giving some to those kids, but I don’t want to allow them to taste it and never find anything similar. Their little brains are not ready for to shot of dopamine that a chocolate can give.

And despite being big, my resources are still limited. I have to last a year here, in this forsaken world.

While I was indulging the kids while asking questions about the city, and probing about the Sultan and Jafar… an opportunity fell in my lap.

I ran in a circle and ended up at the starting point of the whole plot. Look at her disguising herself as a commoner, pfft!

I’m sorry, Jasmine, but your eyes don’t lie. Serious, people… Am I the one seeing that hot girl?

And I can risk off the checklist: “Beautiful woman only showing her eyes with eyeliner” from the cliches of arab movies.

Hmm, the scene is about to happen… Should I?

Looking around, I can easily see Aladdin. He is on a roof and has a monkey, duh. It can only be him.

Again, should I? I really don’t need to, but… Oh, she is taking an apple and giving it to one of the kids who is following me.

It’s happening… The kid separated from her to show me what she chose, and the vendor got angry with Jasmine, asking for the payment. The situation quickly escalates when she says she doesn’t have any money.

Fuck it… One year here would get boring fast unless I travel the world, and it's kinda related to me… She got caught with the little gang of kids because of me.

I need to step up. Sorry, Aladdin, no chance for you to impress the girl this time. Sorry, but not sorry.

“Oy oy, calm down, my man.” I step closer quickly, the vendor has already pulled a blade while holding Jasmine's forearm, ready to cut her hand for the crime of thievery.

I easily pinch the sides of the blade before he can swing it down, and he struggles to move it even a millimeter..

“Who are you??” Now the vendor directs his anger at me.

“You got bloodthirsty too fast…” I shake my head “I am paying for those kids. The kind lady just helped the little one reach for the apple she wanted.” I give an excuse quickly. I doubt she even noticed my presence, she was a spoiled princess who gave the apple and didn’t think much of it.

But for some reason, now she is staring at me a little too much wide-eyed… ah yes, I’m white.

And I also grabbed the arm that was holding her, and the guy winced a little in pain before letting her go, while I showed no visible effort. He is much fatter than me, so the sight must be a little weird.

The vendor looks at me now much more warily, gazing at me up and down while rubbing his wrist. Before things escalate further, I make the peace offering…

“Here, the money, and a little extra for the trouble.” I give him more than he can refuse and turn away while nudging Jasmine to not stay rooted in her spot.

She walked by my side till we were reunited with the kids again, time to say the goodbyes to those brats “By the way, that was a crass mistake.” I commented to her

“Crass?” She turns to me and asks, confused

Ah yeah, she would not understand more than half of my terms and slangs. “Eh, in my homeland, a guy named ‘Crassus’ made a huge mistake, so big that it became a way to refer to equally big mistakes.” I explain

“Whoa, imagine being remembered by your mistake… That’s sad.” She exclaims “And homeland, huh? Why are you white? Are you sick?”

“It’s because he drank too much milk when he was a kid!” The kids chime in

“He is made of clouds!”

I… I just explained it before. Did my explanation enter through one ear and leave from the other?

“No, you stupids!” The girl of the group stops them. Finally, someone was paying attention. “It’s because the sun doesn’t like him!” She crosses her arms and says with a self-assurance that only a child would have.

“Ah yes! He is afraid of the sun!”

“Wooo~ I’m the sun, be afraid of me~” This one that tried to scare me is a little shit. Can I kick him?

At least, Jasmine was giggling at their antics.

“Haah~ From where I came from, there are white people like me… I’m a traveller.” I explain both why I am white and why I am in Agrabah, without really explaining anything.

“A traveller? From a faraway land?” She looks more interested in this than anything else.

“From a very faraway land, yes.” I nod. She goes silent, and I finally shoo the kids away.

Goodbye, brats. Till never.

I’m never having kids.

Fun fact: Thanks to the Hercules Method, I can shoot only “blanks” and never impregnate a human. I tested it on the post-apocalypse world, after all, I don’t want kids with the same powers as mine running around the Omniverse. 

That is some Baki-level bullshit, but that is how far my body control goes.

Like, I can survive having my head twisted at a 180 angle, I can put my organs back in my body after they are ripped off, and even hypnotize people with my eyes(still learning this one). Controlling my sperm is not that ridiculous…

“So, back to our talk… Are you retarded?” I turn to the princess disguised as a commoner.

“What?” She looks absolutely stunned at my flat tone

“I am asking if you have a problem with your head? What's the big idea of casually handing other people’s things, huh? You almost lost your hand. Even I, that I’m a foreigner, know this much… So you, a local, must be retard.” I nod to myself like I figured this out.

“Hmpf, I will tell you that there’s nothing wrong with my head!” She points a finger at me, brows furrowed

“Then what is your excuse?” I ask

“I… I…” She stammers

“Ah, I see… You are probably some sheltered rich kid.” This much anyone would be able to deduce, but the way her eyes widen shows me that she was really not expecting to be figured out that easily.

Like, really… She ran away without money? And she expected to be free forever? It would not take long before she was brought back. Even if she survived, it would be on prostitution or something like that. I think I read a hentai of her with this plot once…

“It seems I am right. Point to where your rich merchant family, or something like that, is, and I will take you there.” I say

“I’m not going back!” She crosses her arms and turns her whole body around

“Are you retard?” I ask again

She turns her face to glare at me angrily.

I sigh loudly. “Listen here, girl. It’s obvious that you are a sheltered lady. With no money, no contacts, no experience, nothing… You will end up dead or worse.” I say to her “Let me bring you back, then you can plan your next escape better. At least now you have experience~” I give her a conspiratory smile.

She smiles back “That would not be a bad idea, but I don’t have time. I can’t return. It will be harder to escape, too…” She ends the phrase with a sigh

“That’s true.” I agree

“...”

“...”

We fall into a strange silence before she speaks again.

“I haven’t thanked you for saving me earlier…” 

“Don’t worry, you had good intentions.” I wave her off “Now, I really mean that is dangerous around here… But as the freest man alive, I understand why you want a little freedom, so…” I give her an exaggerated bow. “My lady, allow me to scout you around before returning you safely home?” I even rolled my wrist three times while presenting my hand to her. Seriously, she is gonna die out here. 

And I have a plan.

She giggles “Okay, you convinced me… But only if you promise to help me escape again later.” 

“Oh my… So I need to be the hero and the villain? The gallant knight and your partner in crime?” I chuckle “Alright… But you will not stop me from convincing you not to run away anymore. You don’t know it, but you have a pretty good life, girl.”

“It’s a deal then?” She raises a smooth hand to me, she has never had one difficulty in her life.

“It’s a deal.” I take her hand “By the way, don’t be surprised by my magical abilities.” I brag a little. 

I’m gonna show off, and not because I want to bed her or something. It’s a Disney princess, and if I’m gonna stay in this world for a year, I guess the most fun place to hang around is by her side, in a comfortable palace.

I already created a plan in my head while we were talking. I can get on her good graces, sleeping with her is a bonus objective, but remembering that she fell for Aladdin in only some hours, it will probably end up like that.

“Magical abilities?” She asks with a raised eyebrow, doubting me.

“You will see in time.” I say while looking up “The sun is still high, so not a good moment to fly, let’s walk around for a bit.”

“Flying?” She continues to show her disbelief

“Patience, little girl. I am also kinda new here, so we can discover things togeth- hm?” While I was holding the hand that she presented to me, I felt something.

Something light and dextrous touched my body… I retaliate with lightning speed, my other hand shooting to my back, my arm bending unnaturally, and grabbing whatever touched me.

Pulling it to my front, I finally see clearly what it is.

“A monkey thief… Interesting…” What are you thinking, Aladdin? “It’s wearing clothes… Where is your master? The one that taught you how to steal.”

“Abu! Release him!” Well, well… it looks like the protagonist makes an entrance. 

“So it’s you…” I act surprised. Jasmine also looks at him, but she positions herself beside me. 

I also noticed Aladdin giving her a look, his eyes getting glassy, obviously infatuated, while looking at her. 

So he really had planned something.. But what is your endgame, buddy? Embarrass me and steal the girl? What a great Casanova you are. It seems romance is not his forte. What an awkward way of getting your crush's attention.

“So you are the one teaching this animal how to steal.” I say while reaching for the Monkey jacket and fishing my gold coins back. “You are lucky that I don’t like hurting animals.” I throw Abu at Aladdin.

Then, without giving the guy the chance to say anything, I turn to Jasmine “See? You need to be careful, there’s always someone who wants to take advantage of you. This lad is just unfortunate though, he has to steal to survive, no need to cut his hand…” After saying that, I turn back to Aladdin “Here, dude. Try to get back on your feet in an honest way.” I throw the money that Abu stole from me to Aladdin, in a show of magnanimity.

At the same time, I pull Jasmine away with me, receiving a look of admiration from her. I know, I know… I’m such a nice guy.

“...” Aladdin takes the money by reflex, but he stays rooted in place. From the beginning till the end, I controlled the direction of the talk and didn’t let him try anything to fall on the good graces of the princess. Who knows if she is wired to like whatever he does, right?

Accept it as a consolation prize, dude

And damn~ I stole his girl and gave him some change! I almost feel bad… Almost.

……………………………………………

“See, girl. The outside world is dangerous. Not everyone is evil, but the circumstances can force their hand.” I explain while we walk on a shady part of the city “The disparity in wealth is ridiculous and to keep things in order, the laws are harsh… hence why you almost lost your hand. I don’t know why you ran away, but it can’t be as bad as having to live without a roof over your head and sleeping with an empty stomach.”

My words seem to have an effect on the princess. One of my pet peeves with the Aladdin movie is that there was never a show of any change in the status quo.

The difference in wealth is evident from the beginning, with Aladdin feeding those hungry children. As it was established that neither Jasmine nor her father is an evil tyrant. She was a sheltered princess, and her father is too much of a nice guy, but a very oblivious - not to say dumb - guy, that excused them of any blame.

Jafar could be blamed, with his hypnosis and control over the city guards who captured Aladdin. Everything was set up to show a grand ending where Aladdin, as a former street rat, now Sultan, would be able to change the lives of the poor people like him.

But no, it was never shown anything like that. C’mon guys~ At least one scene of the beggar kids eating better? Just to show that he simply didn’t forget his roots?

Whatever, the movie was good, that's just something that they could add to make it better.

Wait, there are continuations, right? Maybe they did it later… And I didn’t watched the live action.

Now, I will continue to open the princess’s eyes, just sowing some good karma to balance for all the evil that I (will) do.

While I was explaining the reasons why so many people are stuck in their piss poor condition, without any chance of ascending the social ladder, we are surprised by a trio of men jumping us.

“Oh my~ Look what we have here~” The man in the middle drawls with a menacing smirk. The three of them have blades in their hands.

“Oh, that’s perfect.” I suddenly exclaim while Jasmine gasps in fear and shock. I pull her behind me and turn my head to he.r “See? This is how dangerous the world is…” I turn back to the criminal,s “Thanks for showing up guys, It was a great example for the lesson that I was teaching.”

“............” Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy.

“You know, dude… You are nuts! There are better ways to get a girl.” Even the Genie says from my pocket. “There are rules to the damsel in distress routine!”

After the initial shock, the three evildoers look between themselves and once again point their blades at me.

“If it's a lesson ya wanna boy, we are gunna give it ya.” One spats

“And to ya gurl too. Look at pretty face and curves-”

“Okay, that is enough.” I say casually and reach with my hand, the three go stiff as a board, then I make them float. 

No need to hide my powers here too, no government to try to kidnap and make experiments on me.

Jasmine's eyes widen in surprise, and the criminal's eyes widen in fear.

“By the law of this country, you should be beheaded… But a lady is watching, soooo…” I turn to the said lady, “You pass the sentence.”

This is also a test, let’s see how much sheltered she is-

“Kill them.” She says resolutely, her tone commanding.

“...” Say what??? Disney, what the fuck? Ah yes… Reality is R-rated.

Well, I guess a princess from the old times is used to executions. I thought she would tell me to deliver them to the palace, to face justice, but maybe she doesn’t want to return.

In those times, testimony would be necessary, and she would be recognized.

“Alright…” I say slowly while feeling the criminals struggling on my telekinetic grasp “Don’t look away from them.”

CRACK The three necks are broken in unison, creating a loud sound.

Jasmine winced heavily, her shoulders going up, her face grimacing, and her fists curling into a ball… but she didn’t close her eyes. She almost did, but her eyelids didn’t close completely.

“Good job.” I praise, taking her closed fist into my hand, making it relax till it opens. The three bodies fall on the ground, lifeless.

After the moment of tension, she starts breathing a little heavily, so with a “Excuse me.” I swipe her off her feet and jump directly to the roof of the nearby house. No need to watch the corpses too much.

“You have magical powers…” After a very girlish “Kyah”, she states while wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Something like that.” I jump from rooftop to rooftop till I land on the highest one that I can find. “Look, a better sight…” I gesture to the horizon. The sun is starting to go down, but it would still take a lot of time for night to fall. This is a desert country after all.

“Wow…” She whispers while drinking on the sight.

I have to agree with her, the way the sun hits the city, creating shadows of the building, reflecting on the gold of the palace… It’s very pretty.

But I also “Wow” for a different reason, the tunic covering her head falls, and Jasmine’s beauty is shown to me.

“You are beautiful.” I blurt out, attracting her attention.

I couldn’t help myself, Sun Jiao is hotter, but Jasmine is a beauty, only losing slightly to Lin Lin, that annoying android I saved. But that is an unfair comparison, Lin Lin was made in a lab, enhanced to be as beautiful as she can get.

The fact that Jasmine can compare shows that those Fantasy Princesses are bred differently.

At my words, she looked at me before shyly covering the lower half of her face with a part of her tunic.

“You are kind.” She says in a polite way, some of her princess training is slipping.

“Only telling the truth, you must be flooded with suitors-” I was saying before paying dramatically “Wait, is that because you ran away? To escape a marriage?” I start smiling

“How did you know??” She looks genuinely surprised that I figured it out.

“Pfft, hahaha. So obvious~” I was just laughing lightly, but she got really angry.

“Don’t laugh at my troubles!” She starts slapping my arms, huffing. It does not hurt.

“Okay, Okay~ Sorry…” I defend myself a little before grabbing her wrist, the sudden movements bring us closer than expected.

Oh my, the tension is building up~

Ahem After a clear of the throat, we separate a little awkwardly.

“Still thinking you are better off here?” I ask “You don’t even have a place to stay. The nights are cold.”

“...” After all that, she doesn't have arguments.

I will not throw at her face how dumb she was, so I simply walk on the small wall on the edge of the roof, balancing myself in the narrow space before stepping onto the other building.

“Let me help-” I turn around to bring her in, but she simply does the same as me “Oh, maybe you are not a wallflower, you even know parkour.”

“Parkour?” Once again, she is confused by a certain word of mine.

I need to remind myself to adapt my speech to the world I visit. First time visiting a non-modern world, so it’s excusable, but later I should do better. It’s not only about learning the language.

And for some reason, everyone speaks English… Don’t ask me. Disney is not completely historically accurate. I think there are options to go to historically accurate AUs(Alternative Universes), but why should I complicate my life?

“It’s a sport as much as it is an art… It’s the act of going through an urban environment quickly and in a creative way, using only your body and wits to find a way to bypass the obstacles. It’s cool because the only limits are on your body, and you can break them… You can even make things unnecessarily complicated just to test your limits.”

To illustrate that, I walk to the edge of the building, there’s a one-meter space between me and the other rooftop, the gap is a fall to certain death for most people.

I balance myself on only one leg, then throw the other in front of me and do a backflip with the momentum, landing on the other building with only one foot.

“See? It looks like something that even kids do, but there’s no upper limit.” I strike a pose while she even claps a little.

While I was exaggeratedly bowing my head like an artist thanking the crowd, I discovered that this woman is kinda crazy…

Because she tried to do the same!

“Whoa!” I grabbed her middle backflip, obviously failed, and almost died. “You are really reckless, huh?” She is more of a tomboy than I thought.

“Sorry…” At least this time she saw it.

Once again, that tension appears(maybe is a Disney thing)… In a hurry, I grabbed her by her small waist. Now I’m holding her in the air a little too closely, looking at her doe-like eyes.

She is equally stunned, probably by being manhandled… and liking it.

“Here we go.” I put her down before things could go even further.

“Oh…” She releases a disappointed sound. Patience, woman…

As much as I’m seeing things develop in this way, I feel that it is fair that I take it slowly. I mean, she wanter to marry Aladdin in just a couple fo days, but damn… calm down. You are too weak to my roguish charms, and also too damn sexy for me to resist much longer.

After this moment passes, we sit on the edge of the roof while watching the sunset.

I decide to make my move. Not on her…

“If you ask me, I would say that most of the problems of this city are there.” I point straight to the palace.

“The palace?” She turns to me, interested, but also hiding her connection with it.

“The administration.” I specify “They can do much more, and they do nothing. In truth, they make sure the poor stay poor and suffering.”

“...it must be a reason why they didn’t help much.” She defends her father weakly but has nothing to support her words. She is not connected with the internal affairs, so she knows nothing.

I then whisper conspiratorily at her “I know something…”

“What?” She whispers back, leaning close.

“I can feel some foul magic around the palace, like a heavy cloud…” My bullshit is weaved incredibly “I suspect that someone there is an evil sorcerer that wants to keep the people suffering.”

Her eyes widen in shock “Impossible…”

I shrug “I know what I know.” I say mysteriously, “It is probably someone with a lot of power in their hands. Maybe the Sultan, the Vizir, or even the princess… I heard she is beautiful. She probably uses some magic to charm the guards and make them harass the people.”

“Lies!” She exclaims, outraged. The way she can’t hide it is hilariously

“It can happen…” I ignore her and continue “I heard tales of a noblewoman in a faraway land that killed young virgins and bathed in their blood to keep herself young and beautiful. Maybe that is the secret of her beauty.”

“That is ridiculous!” Now she is furious, but she can’t do anything to me without outing herself.

“Just saying… I know that someone in the palace is an evil magic user. I’m just throwing some guesses though.” I comment casually

“.......” She falls into silence, and I also do not speak anything.

Hook, line, and sinker… Now, I just need to wait for the bite…

We continue to observe the sunset in silence, but I can feel her thoughts are in turmoil. Rummaging through my words.

I already proved myself as a magical user or something. 

I exposed the reality of the dark side of Agrabah.

I guessed correctly that she is a rich woman who is running away from suitors.

But without knowing her identity, so that she would not think that I’m tricking her.

So I proved myself as a good-hearted, competent guy who has no reason to lie to her.

Everything is a build-up to this moment…

“What is your name?” She suddenly asks 

“Oh, we haven’t introduced ourselves, right?” I act surprised “I guess because you are hiding your rich status… But I don’t need to hide. My name is Hector.”

“Hector… different.” She comments, but I am a foreigner, so she doesn’t stay on this thought for long. “Alright, you won.” She bites her lips.

I turn to her.

“My name is Jasmine, the princess of Agrabah!” She finally introduces herself, her voice strong, while I forcefully widen my eyes “Take me back to the palace. And… help me find this evil sorcerer. Prove to me that you are right.”

“...” Gotcha~