Three Wishes

Hector P.O.V.

“…You ain’t never had a friend like me ♩♪♫♬”

Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

“Thank you, thank you! Thank you very much! What amazing crowd~” The Genie bows theatrically to my ovation. “We are here all Fridays and Saturdays! Drive safely home! And don’t forget to try the canapes!”

“That was nice… Even though you pulled me into it and made me dance.” I comment after stopping clapping “Don’t do that again.”

“Okay, okay~ So buddy… what is your name again?” The Genie asks

“Hector.”

“Yeah, yeah… Hector. So, Hector, like I explained to you, using my incredible musical talent, you have three wishes! Not one, not two, and absolutely not four!” He makes four fingers appear on his hand before one disappears. “Go on, give it a try. Feel the power!” He laughs exaggeratedly before going back to normal.

“Alright… Let’s try this first one… tell me if it's possible.” I take my trusted notebook from my inventory and start reading the page where I wrote my possible wishes “I wish to you, using all of your powers and capabilities as a genie to protect my mind and soul from any detrimental effect and damage that could hurt it… I’m talking about instant death, possession, sealing, banishment, forced separation, enslavement, corruption-”

“Oy oy oy oy! Pause! Time out!” The Genie interrupts me, making a “T” with his hands. “That is too much!”

“How is too much?” I ask curiously.

“Too much information, too specific… normally people say one thing like: ‘I want to be beautiful’ and I make them beautiful, they don’t describe each part of their body.”

“But what if you change their hair color to one that they don’t like? What if you maliciously interpret the broad wish and weaponize it against me?” I tilt my head

“AH!” He gasps like a drama queen, clutching his chest in pain. “How could you accuse me of that? Ma heart!” Then he raises his finger and starts talking “I will inform you that I’m a very respectable Genie! Passing with flying colors and top of my class! Look, full 5-star reviews!” He starts showing me pictures of him going through a… Genie College? Him shaking the hand of another genie while receiving his degree… I bet he is making those things on the spot…

And you did it against Jafar… I can only give him a deadpan stare while he continues to talk about his integrity.

I don’t hold it against him, I don’t care. The truth is, if someone has feelings, they are not impartial. Knowing his personality, I don’t think he will try to hurt me if I don’t give him a reason, but I’m too paranoid to not be careful.

“Are you saying that is prohibited? Or that is simply not common for someone to be so careful?” I interrupt his charade “If it is the latter, I will go back to read my wish… There’s a whole page.” I show him all the things I want protection for.

“Okay, listen here, buddy… Sit down.” He made a comfy chair appear and pushed me on it. “I’m doing it for your own good… Let me explain. Each time you ask for a specific thing… it counts as a wish!” he raises a finger.

“Oh…”

“Oh indeed.” He nods “This thing here, you know?” His hand touches my chest and then his, a little too much intimately. “This thing between us… This beautiful relationship born from you rubbing my-”

“Get to the point.”

“It’s based on trust!” He declares, making the world “Trust” appear beneath us, supporting our weight “I will be able to help you more if you let the specifics of your wish to me! Example!” He shouts again and telekinetically pulls me to my feet. “Let’s say that you ask me to be the greatest warrior that this world has ever seen!”

Pointing his fingers at me, he changed my clothes to some sort of old general armor.

“I will be able to give you the strength of a 100 men, the reflexes of a cat, the speed of a hawk, the mastery of all weapons and rides! And even some cool armor and a horse.” He points, and a horse pops under me. “Now, if you are too specific to wish for those things… the strength, the reflexes, the speed… each will take an individual wish. Capisce?”

“Capisce.” I guess it makes sense.

And he is kinda fair, after all, he is not one of those genies that takes everything I say as a wish.

So he is obviously not a Monkey's Paw.

“But at the same time, I wish to see how far your protection would go.”

“Sorry, pal, that is not how it works.”

See, he didn’t interpret my genuine question as a wish and decreased one of my 3. He is working in good faith here.

“So, Magic simply happens? Abracadabra and poof?”

“Yep!” He then makes a very thick book appear, the title being “Magic: Everything you need to know” and opens it to show me.

Everything is blank except the words “Magic simply happens. Abracadabra and Poof”. 

“...” He took the book away before I was able to check the references. I bet they're not that reliable either.

Well, when Aladdin wished for the Genie to be free, it kinda of happened while the Genie was flabbergasted with the wish. It doesn’t look like he freed himself. So I guess it kinda just happens.

“Okay, I can work with that… Now, let’s have a talk where you answer my questions about the wishes… and this is not a wish!” I point.

“Okay, okay… shoot!”

Then it started a back and forth where I asked all the questions that anyone who stumbles on someone granting wishes should ask. I ask a bunch of “what if” wishes and ask for clarification.

To put it in a few words, the Genie has very few limitations. It seems his biggest limitation(that matters to me - I don’t care about asking for love) are things out of the context of this universe. Yes, I tried to ask for a perfect Omnitrix or other OP but fun things. It’s not possible. 

This created a doubt in my mind about his “absolute” powers. If I ask, for example: To be immune to magic. It would probably only be magic in this world, while nothing would change in other worlds.

BUT! If I ask for protection or resistance to it, things would work pretty well.

I would exchange perfect immunity here for a high-level protection almost everywhere.

Now, shouldn’t it be better to simply ask for him to make me as physically strong as he can? To give me amazing magical powers like Jafar did?

Well, maybe… If you are a tryhard sweat!!

I’m an enjoyer~ I enjoy the adventure, the experiences… I will not do something cheap like asking for amazing powers out of the blue! I have standards! Even if I ask for some just to enjoy a little of omnipotence, I would probably throw it away later.

Frieren said it the best… It’s about the joy of pursuing magic. “Magic” here is being considered anything. The grind is enjoyable, and the reward will be much sweeter.

I still remember the joy I felt when I raised a coin with my telekinetic powers! Or when I flew for the first time… or when I started moving so fast that people couldn’t even react.

It was priceless!!

I’m not gonna cheat and destroy my enjoyment.

My ability to travel gives me a lot of freedom, I’m not trapped in a hell world where I need to get strong fast to not die a horrible death. I choose where I go.

I will not be in a super dangerous situation unless I put myself there.

Obviously, it can happen… it will eventually happen. But till then, I will be able to get strong on my own.

So, instead of asking for a super boost, I only want to ask for some passive protections. Different from the protagonists of some fanfics I read, I can’t buy perks that give me protection against mind reading or existence erasure. 

I’m on my own, I need to get it myself.

And I plan to learn magic, powers, or acquire items that will protect me, but asking for some protection from the Genie sounds like a good preparation against the unexpected.

Some low-level worlds have surprisingly dangerous things, like the spell Avada Kedavra in Harry Potter.

And the Genie is pretty strong, I remember reading about him in some power-scaling sites. He should be at the Universal Level, right? So to someone erase me unfairly, they would have to be at least Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet.

The point is that it will make my travels a little more relaxing… peace of mind is priceless too.

“So, is the soul and the mind two different things? And hence I would need to make two wishes?”  I ask after we have had a very long discussion.

“Yep.”

Hm, it’s still on my budget… I can ask for protection for my Mind, Soul, and Body. Exactly three wishes…

“How does your protection to my body work?” I ask.

“Depends on which direction you want. If you wished for it now, I would make you very healthy, durable enough to withstand blades, blasts of magic etc…”

“And if I ask to have a magical protection only?” He is a magical being, so asking him to give me bulletproof skin is a waste. I can also acquire it pretty easily later.

“It would be an even greater protection against magic that would give your harm, transfigure you, paralyze… those things.” he answers casually while drinking from a smoothie.

“Aren’t those kinda covered in the Soul Protection?” I frown

“Kinda is… Magic comes from the soul and is more effective and dangerous against the immaterial plane.” He says, and I agree. “A protection on your soul would prevent your whole body from being changed in ways that you don’t want for most magics.”

Call me crazy, but maybe I shouldn’t waste a wish on magical protection on my body… I can dodge and maybe even tank some blast of magic. Acquire some artifacts for protection, too.

I’m more afraid of the bulshit esoteric magic that can hit me from god knows where while I’m chilling, just because someone got their hands on a strand of my hair and made a voodoo ritual to always spy on me or enter my dreams.

That’s the kind of thing I want to be protected from, not from a flying magic blast.

“Tell me. Will those mind and soul protections defend me against not… direct harmful things? Like mind reading, scrying…”

“Yep, better against magical means, but it would shield you pretty well. Even against magic diseases.”

“And what about good things? If someone tries to heal me with magic?”

“No problemon, amigo! Only against harmful things.”

“But who decides that? You?”

He then opens his psalm slowly and makes a rainbow go from his right hand to his left hand. The word “Magic” shines brightly in the rainbow.

“...” Not very reliable and too much subjective to my tastes… but what I expect from Disney magic? “Okay, let’s go with it…”

“Ready to make your wish?? Good~ Shoot!” He prepares himself as if I were going to throw a baseball at him. “Gon on, don’t be shy.”

“Okay… I wish for you, the Genie, with the best of your abilities and good will, to put an everlasting protection on my soul against any external malediction.” Broad and still covering everything that is important. I will trust him to make it good.

“Boring wish, but okay! done!” He points his finger at me, and a blue lightning bolt is shot from it and instantly hits my body.

“...” I feel no difference, but I guess it's how things go. “Done?” I ask just to make sure

“Done. Now, not even I can hurt with my magical abilities.” The Genie answers, unsatisfied for some reason

“Neat.”

“Go on then, ready to make your second wish?” He says eagerly

“Nah, no hurry…” I comment with a shrug 

“Seriously? Are you just gonna wish for something that you can’t even enjoy?” he asks in disbelief. “You know, a thick girl to make everything better? Or money to feed her?”

“Stop rhyming. And no, I’m good.” I dismiss him easily. “I already explained that I’m not from here, and I can acquire those things on my own.” To ask my questions about how his protection would work, I confessed about being from another universe, he was not that surprised, and sincerely, I don’t care.

“Geez, you are the least greedy guy that I've ever met.” he sighs

“I just have faith in myself. I will get there eventually.” I start walking out of the cave and reach down to grab his lamp. “I will be holding this for a year, don’t wanna you give wishes to anyone else…”

“Oh, jealous much?” He bats his eyelashes at me, making them unnecessarily long. They even brush against my face.

“That will be a long year…” I scoff, trying to contain a laugh. I guess I need to be the straight man of this comedic duo. “Let’s go do some tourism.”

“With those clothes? An an~ I can’t allow myself to be seen with you like that!” He talks like a diva and points his finger at me. Another ray of magic hits me, and my clothes are transformed into something more fitting to this era.

“I hope this didn’t consume a wish…” I say while looking at myself. They are normal modern clothes, so no big loss here “And why is my chest bare?” My torso is barely covered by this… vest.

“To impress the ladies, of course! You have big muscles, those guns need to be seen, as a warning~” Suddenly, he is measuring my biceps with a tape. I let my hair grow a little more and I can make a cosplay of Kars.

I was gonna retort, but I saw something in the corner of my eye. “Oh, that I want… Sorry, Genie. I’m gonna collapse your cave.”

“What?”

Without giving him time to ask more, the cave rumbles, rocks start falling, and I’m already flying away with my new ride… The Magic Carpet.

This carpet is my second reason to come here, not a priority, but it will be nice to have it.

“Hahahaha!” I laugh when I dodge the stalactites  and all the rest of the cave falling on my head,

“I need to say, dude, you at least know how to have fun.” Genie flies at my side, his lower half blue smoke, like a turbine propelling him forward.

“Race to the nearby city?”

“You’re on!” He agrees immediately

As we speed up, I need to cheat a little to stop some rocks from hitting me and my new magic carpet, but c’mon… The guy is an all-powerful reality warper. It’s only fair that I cheat.

I remember in the “A Whole New World” music, the carpet went a little too far, that some people joked that the speed would be enough to kill the passengers with the friction…

That sounds very dangerous… Let’s test that!

………………………….

Okay, it did not go at hypersonic speeds enough to put fire in the air, but it was pretty fast. I think it broke the sound barrier… And there’s a protection for the rider too.

It’s weird, I can feel the wind, and even maybe struggle to hold on, but it never hurt or even annoyed me enough to make me close my eyes. And I’m surrounded by sand!

Magic, right? It simply happens, abracadabra, and Poof.

We stop on the roof of one of the many buildings of Agrabah. The city is… yellow. That’s how I would describe it in one would. Yellow from the rocks, yellow from the gold of the palace, yellow from the sunlight… Yellow. Well, the sunlight is orange because it is dawn, but you know what I mean. 

“I remember coming here as Sora in Kingdom Hearts.” I comment with a laugh “Wait, can you give me a keyblade?” I snap my head to ask the Genie

“If you wish for it…” 

“...” For real??? A Keyblade?? Man… Mannnnnnnn. I want it. I want it!!!

But… but… How does keyblade work again? Only the pure of heart can wield or something? And it only damages evil beings or something like that? I don’t remember… There’s also the fact that maybe Heartless will start popping up because they can feel Keyblade Wielders…

But is a keyblade! Even as a glorified club, it would be super cool… “Wait… Can you give me any keyblade or only the ‘Three Wishes’?

“Your words strangely make sense to me, buddy. And the Three wishes, yes.”

Hmm, not my favorite one… I mean, I was not hoping for the Ultima Weapon, but… Maybe the classic one? Oblivion? Oathbreaker? The one from the Halloween world?

“Will I be able to travel the Diney Multiverse with it?” Or is the spaceship necessary? I think there’s a thing called Keyblade Glider, right?

“I don’t know.” The Genie shrugs.

Okay, I will need to think a bit more if I want to use a wish for a keyblade… I still have a lot of “Perks” to ask for. Let’s be responsible and mature about it…

“I wish for a keyblade!” I blurt out. 

Fuck it! I’m a fucking Omniversal Traveller bitch! Do you know what this means? It means that I can simply jump consecutive times to worlds parallel to this one and farm infinite wishes!

I want my keyblade! And if I want my keyblade, I will get my keyblade!

This way is easier than going to the Kingdom Hearts multiverse and being jumped by the Organization XIII!

“Your wish is my command!” The Genie declares with a lot of fanfare, growing in size, he opens his palm vertically, and a keyblade is formed from a bright light.

It’s gold and orange, with some details reminiscent of flames, and obviously with a small golden lamp in the keychain.

“Hehehe~ Neat~” I go to grab it and… Hm, despite feeling a certain heaviness, I can wield it with no problem.

“Oh, you can use it… It’s said that only those with a strong heart can wield a keyblade.” The genie says

Strong, huh? Not pure… I guess it makes sense, there are some users that are not pure.

“Thank you, Genie.” I say while trying some stances, feeling the weight, trying to gauge its power. I can feel that there’s a hidden power inside it, but I can’t seem to tap into it. Yet…

Maybe I need practice… or maybe I will never be able to use it. Maybe it will become useless in another universe.

But who cares? It’s a pretty resistant blunt weapon nonetheless.

I play with my new weapon for a long time, till the sun goes up and morning comes completely. The streets below are already packed with people.

Damn, early morning here looks like mid day in other places. Luckily, as a user of the Hercules Method, changes of temperature don’t affect me. Seriously, I can walk naked on the poles and in a building on fire.

Putting my keyblade in my inventory - I was sure that there’s a miniaturize function, but I guess it's only in the games - I turn to my Magic Carpet.

“Wanna fly around a little?” He, or she, nods. “Fine, find me later…” Later, I will also check if I can put her(gonna call ‘her’ because riding dudes is gay) in the inventory, but for now let’s make her like me.

She is not a convenient magical object bound to me, so let’s gain her loyalty first. And I think trapping her in a pocket space would not help. That does not stop me from putting a tracker on her, just in case…

“Let’s look around Genie.” I say and jump into a nearby desert alley.

“You are the boss, Boss.” He salutes me before turning into a wisp of smoke and flying to my breast pocket. “Let’s go!” A small Genie appears from my pocket.

Well, at least he has this common sense. A magical blue guy would attract attention…

…………………………

“...” I’m attracting attention…

I forgot about a little detail… I’m white!

I keep my face calm and my steps confident while I pass through people gawking at me. I miscalculated, I thought there would be some trade with other places or something. Agrabah is a big place after all, the capital of the country or something. Isn’t there a sea nearby? I saw a port.

Luckily, for now, beyond being stared at blatantly and having some people pointing at me, there’s no problem.

I mean, I can’t sneak around or go around unnoticed, but whatever. I don’t have any bad intentions either. I tried buying something in a small shop, some nice silk, but the vendor simply directed me to a place to exchange my gold for the coins from here.

I only have gold bars that I took from the apocalypse world and jewels.

The shop owner was kind, saying to come back later and that he would save the products for me. 

He, obviously, asked by from where I came from, and I just said that I was unlucky enough to be brought by the sea and caught in a sandstorm, so I’m not sure from which direction I came from.

He laughed at my bad luck and gave me some taps on my back, saying that I’m a strong guy and can recommend some work if I need. But seeing that I have some jewels, didn’t add anything more.

I was expecting to be robbed, but this works too…

“Oh, the bazaar!” I kinda forget about the pawn shop where I need to exchange currency and just start walking around the bazaar.

If I find something that I really want, I can make an exchange even if I take a loss. It’s just money, after all. I have all day to find a place to stay, probably some cave around here, so I’m not in a hurry.

Finally, I was intercepted by some - guess who? - kids, of course.

“Why are you white?” A bunch of small, snotty brats surrounded me. With my advanced senses, I can feel the tension in the air. 

Not from the kids, no… from the adults that appear to be waiting for me to try to snatch them or something like that.

Can’t blame them. Reasonable consideration to make to a stranger.

I’m not good with kids, and I don’t want one of them to trip on themselves, resulting in me being accused of anything, so I was going to sidestep them and…

“Did ya drink too much milk when you were a baby?” Pffft! I was the one who almost tripped when I heard that!

“That’s not how it works…” I say. 

“How does it work?” They ask, curious.

“...” Should I give them an explanation on genetics? Pfft. I crouch down to eye level, this much I can do, and speak, “It’s simple, from where I came from, the sun doesn’t hit this hard, it’s not that strong, so the people there don’t need to have dark skin. The eyes, too. The dark, the better against light.” I say

“Eh?”

“So our skin is better?” They smile like the kids they are, smug for some reason, like their team won a league.

“Against the sun, yes.” I shrug. “We also don’t have rhythm, we are weak against spicy food, and lactose intolerant… But our credit score is high and we don’t need to be careful against the police.” I joke, even though I know it will go over their head.

“???”

“Haha… Just kidding, I like spicy food and have a great rhythm. My uncle taught me.” I continue, just to confuse them more. “Well, that's it. Anything more?” I ask while standing up.”

“No, milkman.”

“Be careful with the sun!”

“.........” Where are their parents?

Despite not saying anything anymore, they don’t go away.

“...” I walk, and they follow me.

I suddenly turn and raise my arms to them “Aren’t you guys scared that I’m gonna hurt you??”

“No.”

“If the sun hurts you, you are weak.”

“Silly cloudman.” The girl of the group giggles.

“.....” Seriously, where are the parents? “I will tell you guys that I’m super strong.” I brag

“I don’t believe.”

“Liar.”

“My father is stronger!”

“...” Should I really scare them? But that would create unnecessary trouble.

Haah~ Let kids be kids.

“Do you all know where I can buy.. eh, money?”

“On Mr. Akam's place.” One declares.

“Hm, guide me there, and I will buy you guys anything you want on the bazaar.” At least, I’m gonna make use of those brats.

“Not going back on your world!!” They shout happily and start dragging me quickly.

Oh look, I’m the average foreigner in an arab country, being guided by kids in a bazaar! I can cross that from my bucket list now.

Now I just need some wobbly air, that traditional guitar riff, a close-up of a camel eating, and a shot of the eyes of a mysterious woman with mascara to make it perfect.

“Just for your information, don’t try to pickpocket me. I only like cliches that benefit me.” I warn them. I’m not gonna run around this place pursuing some kids going in tight spaces.

……………………………………….