Writting Style?
Added 2025-02-24 23:03:48 +0000 UTCPlease read Ch: 122.1 and the notes at the bottom first before voting. But basically, for those of you caught up with Magis-Smithing, what do you think of my writing style?
Which do you think feels better to read? Should I return primarily to Aaliyah's point of view, or should I stay in the third person, like during the winged serpent fight and AMSL?
Comments
I voted to keep everything in Aaliyah's point of view but I wanted to expand on that a bit. I think the story should be consistent. On top of that I really enjoy the occasional jump in perspective, I feel like they add a lot to the story. For chapter 121.* you said that you felt you had to write it in third person to truly capture what you wanted to happen in the chapter and I think you can have a first person representation of that with minimal changes if you put it from the point of view of one of the gods. They know what's going on in people's minds and souls so all you need to do is give them a reason to be paying attention. I think a fight with a dragon qualifies there. You work is amazing and I can't wait for more
Alex Rosen
2025-04-01 03:33:09 +0000 UTCCuando actualizan el siguiente cap
Brayan :v
2025-03-01 19:15:19 +0000 UTCI think Aaliyah's first person point of view is generally more engaging, however a few chapters of 3rd person limited omniscient every now and then is fine. Voted first person
SilentStriker
2025-02-28 02:26:41 +0000 UTCWhy not a mix? Third person and first person depending on the situation. I love first person foraging chapters, maybe do fight scenes in third person. Find the right mix.
Moon Winchester
2025-02-27 19:46:28 +0000 UTCI'd like to add my impressions to the existing comments, but first I want to say that its important that you enjoy the format that you are writing too! As for me, although third person is often traditional, what initially set your story apart was the vibrant first person narrative. You did a fantastic job telling the Aaliyah's story in her own exuberant voice. I agree that it is challenging to give story perspective in this format, but I was satisfied with your changes in narrator, even though it is less conventional to do so. Third person might be an option there too, but again, I have to say that I like the immediacy of your storytelling in first person.
SteveC
2025-02-27 18:09:19 +0000 UTCI think its interesting to occasionally see from others POV but I think it works best to be primarily aaliyah's. Partly because it can be good to not have a gods-eye view of other characters true motivations when her uncertainty about them is itself part of the story.
David Murphy
2025-02-26 14:02:14 +0000 UTCin response to your question on the writing style, I will say it was a bit jarring to go from your old style to the way you wrote the fight. That I just binge read all the way from chapter one in a week or so didn't help in that regard. So while it was fitting for the fight, it might be a bit bit jarring for people who read it from the start. In the end, do what you enjoy. If you want to try something new, do it! We'll adapt.
Oskatat
2025-02-25 19:53:34 +0000 UTCWhichever style you are happier writing in is my preference....if that results in you writing more words then everybody wins
David Eddy
2025-02-25 18:37:55 +0000 UTCIt think that keeping the first person view would be best, but also, it could be nice to have more frequent POV switch between characters. Pacore chapter's were always very fun to read and the occasional villager POV really drove home how different Aaliyah really is.
Vinka
2025-02-25 15:18:21 +0000 UTCI'm fine with larger scale events being in third person. It allows us to see more of what's going on. Sort of like an avengers movie vs a captain America movie. Keep it aaliyah pov for normal chapters I love being in her pov
Scott Fellman
2025-02-25 13:16:53 +0000 UTCRare chapters from other points of view are great as long as they actually give context and progression to the plot. I think its better to stick with first person since that's what you're used to but like... Your story to build and your voice is different after your break so there is no fault in doing things differently. Explore things in the manner you feel is right.
Valderan
2025-02-25 08:49:05 +0000 UTCI agree with most first person PoV is the best for most of the story, you make it work very well. I feel that is also what makes the occasional alternative PoV work so well. I'd say go with what you feel will make a chapter work best.
Enthernal
2025-02-25 07:41:22 +0000 UTCSwitchin viewpoints rarely to show other characters thoughts is not a bad idea.
IgnisGlace
2025-02-25 07:10:49 +0000 UTCI've really enjoyed your first person view throughout the story, and would like that for the majority of it. That being said, shaking things up with the third person view for the fight was also very interesting. I wouldn't be opposed to a mix of viewpoints, where you just denote whose view each chapter/section is from at the top, like you did this most recent chapter.
Jessica Shor
2025-02-25 07:00:23 +0000 UTCI would say that your writings in FPV are unique. All the thoughts and emotions feels more personal while reading. All the development of Aaliyah and her skills, especially balcksmithing, impatience of Pacore, feeling of battle of Tabitha and worrying of Aaliyah's mother - all of it was beautiful. It was as if each character could become the main character for a moment and could share themselves with the reader But I have to agree that huge battles looks good in TPV Anyway we appreciate your work and will keep an eye on updates
Fortuner
2025-02-25 03:42:26 +0000 UTCYour writing style is/was fine and worked very well with the story so far. I personnally like the character Pov. BUT i believe it's a mistake to make it a vote, it's your story to tell and write. I think you should go with what feel natural to you, so that you do not restrain yourself while writing.
Lalanne Mathieu
2025-02-25 03:00:35 +0000 UTCI think first person suits this story, it feels more natural to me. I also think third person works great for AMSL. Do what feels right for you.
Ash
2025-02-25 02:50:38 +0000 UTCThis mirrors my opinion. I like hearing characters thoughts and interpretations, whether it be Aalyiah crafting something, or when Kervin rolls into town. If fight scenes are easier in third person then just switch when needed. I'm not a purist.
Majormajor78
2025-02-25 02:46:49 +0000 UTCI like it when others besides Aaliyah tell the story.
Sebastian Romero Zapata
2025-02-25 02:46:30 +0000 UTCI think it was here about 1/3 others to 2/3 MC
Timo Immig
2025-02-25 02:41:30 +0000 UTCJust agreeing with most other readers hear hoping for the fourth option of "Mixed". I voted for First Person Aaliyah as that is my preferred option, but having you mix it up every now and then seems to improve the reading of the story for me. Including other characters PoV, plus Third Person every now and then gives you more options to better pace the plot.
Cheuk Hin Ho
2025-02-25 02:21:52 +0000 UTCI think I've read a few novels which do what you've already been doing, which is doing the main character's POV in first person, with occasional other POVs in third person. I think it works just fine.
Adama
2025-02-25 01:03:47 +0000 UTCI like better first person PoV so marked "keep it from Ayla's POV" but I think you should not limit which character you keep as the view if you have stuff you want to show from other people's POV. I think the occasional section from a third person POV, like you did for the battle might work but generally you should stick with what you've been doing so far showing the story from specific people's POV. However, that's for this story, if you start a new story, a different style might work better.
Michael Maor
2025-02-25 01:02:27 +0000 UTCThere definitely needs to be a fourth option for the poll. I think third person is very useful at times. If you eventually publish you may even want to go back and see if there are segments that you want to redo in third person. Larger scenes where the main character isn't present or where you're wanting to show how more people react to the main character. The switches don't hurt in the slightest in my opinion.
Ember
2025-02-25 00:59:59 +0000 UTCYou are doing great just the way you are. I pick first option,but I think you should do what you think is best, because I enjoy the other views as it makes it easier to relate to them on a more personal level.
James Everhart
2025-02-25 00:53:45 +0000 UTCThe real answer is to write whichever way feels correct to you. That said, each style has strengths and weaknesses, and keep in mind that these are more guidelines so you can switch style as you feel appropriate. Third person omniscient, as you used during the fight, is good for giving the audience info and insight into what's going on that the characters don't/can't get. It also tends to imply the narration is objectively true for most things, unfiltered by a characters perception. While this can be good for action sequences, it can also be clunky and bog things down with excess description of an action or event. (ex. in 121.4 you ended up in the snakes head a bit too much, imo, and the clash of the spells got a bit too much direct focus that it seemed like the whole snake stopped when the spells collided). Third Person Omniscient is also good for dramatic irony where the audience has more info than the characters. It also allows you to tell things in the order they happen without flashbacks or someone expositing at the character. Though you have been managing that well with perspective changes already. Though a downside is you can easily get bogged down giving too much info or muddle things with too many shifts in focus. Third person limited, which seems to be the "industry standard" if there is one, is mostly telling the story from around the viewpoint character. It has the benefits of the objectivity of 3rd person while keeping confined mostly to the things the MC could know. It can be easily stretched to include the occasional thought or insight or motivation from another person nearby, but it otherwise mostly just 1st person with 3rd person tenses. First person has the benefit of the perspective of the viewpoint character, but at the cost of objectivity. What the audience learns and sees is first filtered through the viewpoint character, and this can be very interesting but it can also be wrong (sometimes this is a strength). First person also tends to have the dramatic Irony go in the "character knows things the audience doesn't" way, which can sometimes be frustrating. Very good for communicating what the viewpoint character is feeling and thinking, less good for things that need clarity communicated to the audience. As a personal preference, I like Third Person Limited.
Sleepyfoo
2025-02-25 00:24:50 +0000 UTCI vote Aaliyah’s POV as primary, with the occasional Tabitha (love her), Del, family, etc supporting POV and then third person for super special occasions (doing this for the Lesser Dragon was perfect). So pretty much what you’re already doing, cause it’s great!
leakysubmarine
2025-02-25 00:22:24 +0000 UTCI am voting for I don't care but a fourth option is needed. Because I think you need a mixed. First person is definitely better for relating and experiencing things, whereas 3rd person helped you tell the story of the fight.
Daniel
2025-02-25 00:10:17 +0000 UTCCreo que no deberías encerrarte en un solo estilo, solo usa el que te sientas más cómoda para cada capítulo o puedes usar más de un estilo po capítulo, solo has lo que te haga sentí más cómoda. Gran capitulo
Lilimu u.u
2025-02-25 00:09:44 +0000 UTCoption 4: I care. I want you to do what feels right for you.
bob barker
2025-02-25 00:02:13 +0000 UTC3rd person writing has a tendency to become detached in the long run
Luboš Hemala
2025-02-24 23:59:26 +0000 UTCI think a mix of both would be fine, although cycling through pov shifts in a single chapter without a hard break tends to end up confusing
Annora D.
2025-02-24 23:57:06 +0000 UTCHonestly I think it's best left in your care, your the one writing so I don't doubt you'll find places where one or the other would work better. I'm just loving your story!
Straven
2025-02-24 23:55:37 +0000 UTCI like first person for the general story POV, but special scenes (like the dragon fight scene), may seem better from 3rd person, so feel free to flip-flop as needed.
Gerk
2025-02-24 23:55:33 +0000 UTCSwitching too often can lead to a less coherent story, though this is worse with viewpoint characters than 1st/3rd person. I've read stories where the author started playing with viewpoints for fun, and then felt obligated to keep up with all the new viewpoints and ended up with a muddled mess of a slog to get back to the character we actually care about. Switching 1st/3rd person is not as bad as that, but it can be a bit jarring when you switch back and forth too often. It's fine if the occasional chapter is a switch (especially if all non-MC point of views are 3rd), but switching between the two constantly gets a bit jarring. I'd just recommend sticking with one or the other for any extended periods of time. That said, it's your story, do what makes you happy with it.
Whillowhim
2025-02-24 23:54:21 +0000 UTCI voted for first person, but agree with other comments that I don’t mind it changing around, I thought it really helped make the fight clearer.
Nick
2025-02-24 23:45:32 +0000 UTCThe third person has it's merits and could help the story like in the fight, but for the most part i think it should be kept in Aaliyah's point o view, or another characters point of view like most chapters in the series.
Júlio Soares
2025-02-24 23:41:22 +0000 UTCYour writing style will shift and change as you grow as a writer, and some scenes may be better as first perspective and others as third. But remember that this is YOUR story, we're just here to enjoy it. It should be written the way that you feel best encapsulates the moment. It should be you think/feel works best, not us. If you're looking to make the story easier to follow for some people then you could make it clear whose perspective we're looking at by leaving some extra space between paragraphs and putting the perspective in bold. For example "xyz's perspective", "3rd person", "ABC merchant association receptionist's perspective", "Forge-3rd person" and so on.
Emblyon
2025-02-24 23:39:11 +0000 UTCWhy not both? Switch when the situation calls for it?
Ninta Silverwind
2025-02-24 23:23:52 +0000 UTCOption 4: I do care but defer to the judgement of Kosnik
Sean Clement
2025-02-24 23:23:01 +0000 UTCI agree, it's been mostly her pov since the beginning, I loved the 3rd person stuff but I think it's best to stick to the way it is
Charles Hughes
2025-02-24 23:21:03 +0000 UTCIt's all situational. And depending on what's going on each has it's advantage. I'm not going to vote. Option 3 is is too negative. Because I do care.
The Dreamer
2025-02-24 23:15:37 +0000 UTCI prefer mc's point of view, but in reality, it's not that important.
villalon vivien
2025-02-24 23:13:44 +0000 UTCI think both definitely have their merits, first person is more typical but third person brings the benefit of expanding the view of different situations. I think first person is better for more story heavy moments but third person makes the battles more dynamic.
Jay Montijo
2025-02-24 23:12:28 +0000 UTCI prefer my stories from the MCs point of view but I do like the occasional point of view from another character so basically 90% MC point of view.
Pagemaster
2025-02-24 23:09:57 +0000 UTC"I don't care..." sounds kinda harsh when I just want to say "They are both good IMO so do whichever makes you happy"
Hamfist
2025-02-24 23:09:54 +0000 UTCI like the third party views, but tbh it no longer makes it feel as a story, and i for sure love your creation, don’t mind you mixing it from time to time but pls keep her pov
P Bogdan
2025-02-24 23:08:45 +0000 UTC
