ROYAL REWARD: Supervillainy 3: Dr. Paperclip Goes Three Far! (Giantess, Destruction)

The sound of Dr. Paperclip’s laughter (maniacal) rolled over the ruined landscape of Supercity like a child’s tricycle, only evil. “Ahahahahahahahahaha!” 

Throwing aside an enormous slab of rubble, Puncherella surveyed the ruins of the city with a look of despair. The devastation stretched for miles–there wasn’t a standing building in sight. Even now, pillars of smoke rose from the burning rubble. 

“You fiend!” she cried. “You’ve gone too far this time, Dr. Paperclip!” 

“That’s right, I really am the definition of evil, aren’t I?” said Dr. Paperclip, stroking the invisible hairs of her imaginary mustache. 

“I thought you were a monster,” continued Puncherella, but to think you’d reduce the entire city to rubble…” 

“Truly I am the devil.”

Puncherella shook her fists in frustration. “...When the good citizens of Supercity all went on holiday together, they trusted you to take care of things in their absence! What are they going to think when they come home?! I’ll make you pay for this, Paperclip!” She charged her, fist raised and ready to put the stupid nerd where she belonged: in the ground! Or possibly headfirst down a toilet! 

With another round of laughter (she really was an endless barrel of the stuff), Dr. Paperclip activated her jet boots and zipped into the air. “My apologies, Puncherella, but I’m afraid today’s evil plan has one more step before it reaches completion…” She tapped a button on her watch, and just like that, a new star appeared in the sky. A green star. (That was how you knew it was evil.) 

“A kill sat?!” cried Puncherella, in horror. “You fiend! What are you planning now?!” 

“Oh no, it’s not a kill satellite,” said Paperclip, smirking smugly. “If you recall the device I used in last week’s issue…” 

Flipping rapidly through her copy, Puncherella gasped in shock. “Gasp! You mean it’s a–?!” 

Before she could finish, the ‘kill sat’ struck: with a hideous zapping sound and some ominous Latin chanting, a piercing beam of evil green light dropped from the sky and crashed into the two of them, making them scream as their bodies inflated like a pair of super-balloons. The ruins of Supercity disappeared as they shot towards the sky, the ruined city reduced to little more than a child’s playmat, like the colorful one with all the roads that everyone seems to have owned growing up (personally, I preferred my train set). 

Finally, their heads bumping the clouds, their growth came to an end, and their clothing, squeaking with the strain of holding in their swollen bodies, burst like a pair of confetti poppers. The two squealed and struggled to cover their exposed curves.

“You bitch!” cried Puncherella. “I just had that costume repaired! Ugh, I can’t believe you gigantified me again! We just did that last issue!” 

“What?! Nononononono! It was only supposed to grow me. Urgh!” With a groan of frustration, Paperclip stomped, making her boobs jiggle and producing a small earthquake. “I wanted to step on you! I wanted to rub my feet in your face until you got a foot fetish! It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” 

Puncherella raised her fist and slammed it into her palm, producing a sonic boom. “You’ve gone too far squared this time, Paperclip! I’m going to pound you into paste!” And with that, she threw herself at her, shaking the earth beneath her as she charged. 

With a squeal of terror, Paperclip turned and ran for it, leaving a trail of gigantic footsteps in the ruins of Supercity as she fled. 

“Come back here, nerd!” cried Puncherella. 

Soon the two were out of the rubble and on the highway, crushing cars and buses beneath them and making the cows bounce up and down in their fields, which caused a lot of confusion for the farmers in the following weeks when they started finding milkshake in their buckets. Finally, Puncherella leapt and crashed into the doctor from behind, bringing her down with a tremendous crash that reduced the neighboring city of Megacity to dust and ketchup. “Got you!” 

“Like hell!” With a snarl, Paperclip kicked her in the girl-nads. Puncherella flew off her with a squeal, clutching her groin and moaning, and accidentally steamrolled the unfortunate Ultracity in the process. 

Meanwhile, Dr. Paperclip struggled back to her feet. “Now I’ve got you…” She rushed forward, intending to give her another kick and, being the ungainly nerd she was, tripped over her own feet. With a squeal, she somersaulted straight into Puncherella, slamming the two of them into the metropolis of Gigacity and reducing it and its many lovable inhabitants to something like a pizza, if it had a lot more gray than yellow.

Finally, the two leapt back to their feet and, grabbing each other's hands, ended up wrestling, gritting their teeth and glaring at one another. Superstrong, especially as a giant, Puncherella should have had the advantage, but Paperclip was smart, and she knew when to abuse a winning strategy, especially one as fun as kicking Puncherella in the crotch. “Ow! My vagina!” Soon, they were both on the ground, rolling and screaming and crushing millions of innocent civilians beneath them.

*

The Mayor of Supercity stood on the prow of the cruise liner, his giant golden chain shining atop his Hawaiian shirt, as the ship pulled into the docks. “Gosh, I can’t wait to see our wonderful city again,” he said. “I do hope Dr. Paperclip took good care of it.” 

The ship came to a stop. He opened his eyes. As one, he and the 8.5 million inhabitants of Supercity on the ship gasped in shock. “O-o-our beautiful city…! Ruined! Oh! How could this possibly get any worse?” 

With a groan like a constipated god, two giant figures rolled over the horizon, turning the dust of Supercity to superdust and headily rapidly towards the ship. 

“Oh, it’s Dr. Paperclip,” said the Mayor. “Perhaps she can tell us what happened h–” 

The ship made a satisfying crunching sound when they crushed it.