The God in the Field: Part Three (rough draft)

I walked again, just as I had before. I knew I had to go further and further through the field, until my legs gave out, until my body ached. As it grew dark, I felt an end coming. The path would open and I would find somewhere safe for me. Either at the house or with the god again.

My raven appeared over head, guiding me until the path went into the mouth of a hole. The hole went down and, in the shadows, I saw bone and rotting flesh. I saw the people who had become meals to the god. My raven rested above the opening and shouted out my name.

“Come in,” it was Joey’s voice that beckoned me. “It’s safe for you down here.”

I stepped closer and looked inside. I saw darkness for ages, but in the far off distance, there was a warm glow. “What waits for me?” I whispered.

“You’ll be safe,” Joey’s voice said again. “I promise.”

I stepped into the mouth, sitting down so I did not hit my head. My legs dangled over a ledge and, before I could stop myself, I fell. I clawed at the ground to try and save myself, but all I did was get dirt under the nails. I toppled through the darkness, screaming my throat raw. The fall felt as endless as the field, but the field I knew, the darkness was nothing but unknowing. It went on and on before me with nothing but my screams to fill the void. I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t breathe. I just went through and over and beyond, not understanding at all where I was. 

Eyes lit up in the shadows and I realized the darkness was ravens. The darkness was full of angels.

I was plucked from the air, grabbed by a large, strong hand. I sagged in its grip, sobbing and wheezing. My throat felt like an open wound, and my body was useless from terror. The god pulled me in, closer and closer towards the warm glow.

“I’m scared,” I sobbed to it.

“That is normal.” The god spoke with Joey’s voice. “Fear is the first sensation you had coming into this world, and it will be your last.”

The god placed its hands around me, cupping me between its mighty palms. I sank in its grasp, wanting to be taken away. The warm glow came closer, and like the fire last night, I wished to bathe in its warmth. 

“Please, let me rest,” I cried. 

The god set me down and I felt something soft and warm beneath me. “Is that what you want now?” It was Joey’s voice it spoke with, but that low, wet rumble returned to the back of its throat.

My body felt warm and responsive. “It’s been so long.”

The god touched my cheek and brushed away my hair. “You have nothing to be afraid of.” Joey’s voice began to change and it turned into another familiar cadence. “You are the True Mate, the mother of the new god.” My mother spoke to me with that hint of gravel at the back of her throat. “You are always safe, always protected. The field embraces you, it does not wish to banish you like the rest.”

I look up at the god with tears still in my eyes. It was a world of difference to hear my mother again. I had accepted our fate early on and that there would come a time I would be alone. There was always a selfish part of me that wanted my mother back, when I was sad or lonely. Hearing her voice, even from the god, was a relief.

“May I ask you something?” I whisper to it.

The god’s fingers rub against my temple. “Anything, my love.”

“Why are we here?” I whisper. “The field, you, all of us-” My voice echoes through the dark and I hear the flutter of wings vibrate the dark walls. “Is there a reason for all of this? Like, are we on a path towards heaven or hell?”

The god lowers its head down. The empty, jagged eye sockets peer through me, while a low rumble courses through its body. “Everyone is lost,” it snarls, “and I find them.”

I shift in its grip, but it only holds me tighter. 

“In return you nourish me, you protect me, and eventually I am given my True Mate who will carry the new god.” Its thumb presses over my belly. “Your womb is the end, the beginning, and the resurrection of the eternity.”

Tears come to my eyes and I smile broadly. “That makes me so happy.”

It removed my clothes and laid me, naked, upon the soft ground. “Relax.” Their warm tongue lapped over my skin. “I will take care of you.”

Its tongue was wet and strange, it coated over my skin, leaving a thick residue upon me. The god didn’t miss an inch, it licked me all over, turning me around to make sure it didn’t miss an inch. Its tongue pressed between my legs, rubbing there while its voice rumbled at the back of its throat.

“My mate,” it growled.

I whimpered, opening my legs more. The tip of its tongue pushed inside, writhing around and squirming within me. I want my god so badly, I never even felt this passion with Joey. I never needed him like this, I only ever wanted them.

I cried out, burying my face into my palms. My body was slick from its cleaning and I felt warm all over. The god’s tongue pushed deeper, stretching me open. They filled me to the core, writhing and thrusting. I cried out and my voice echoed around the room. I heard teeth chatter and bones rattle, but all I wanted was my god.

The god’s tongue pulled away and next, it placed itself on top of me. The hard, heavy body of it rested on me, crushing me. Its hands held out my arms and pinned my wrists upon the ground. Slowly, carefully, it rutted upon me, working its body over my slick, warm skin.

Its hand scooped under my belly so that my hips rose and my rear rested flush against its body. The god moaned, a deep bellowing sound that made the bones around us knock and rattle to make music.

“My mate, my eternity,” it growled. “Accept this and the end is fast approaching.”

I closed my eyes and felt something hard hit against me. It grew from the god’s body, sticking out and thrusting against me. The god shoved me upon it, and inside, it felt bony and strange. I grunted, clawing at the ground. The hardness became soft inside, opening up and splitting so it felt like separate objects inside. The god thrusted me back harder and faster. It caused my mind to go white and hazy, my limbs to become limp. I was molding to the god, it was making me fit its form.

The god snarled and rutted inside me, its massive body both trapping me and protecting me. I felt my insides surge with delight, and I rippled to take all of it. I reached down, feeling my mound and where the god was inside me.

I could take this, I could take all of it. I knew my purpose and my role in this world. I was made for the god in the field, and it was made for me. Only the god could give me what I needed, what I craved. 

The god grabbed me by my throat and lifted me up. I gazed into the warm glow beyond me and saw faces gazing back. There was an audience to watch the insemination of the new god. The angels were all here to witness, to see the seed be laid inside.

I gasped in exaltation and grasped my hands around my belly. I weeped happily as I felt it at long last. My belly grew as their body rutted harder. There was a deep, horrible pain inside me, but I knew it just meant the new god was coming. 

I cried with my god, taking its seed inside me. I looked to the angels, their countless untold eyes focused upon me. They all started screaming and chanting my name over and over.

“Sigrun! Sigrun! Sigrun! Sigrun!”

I wept happily, even though the pain was excruciating. I was laid upon the ground, but I kept my hands upon my belly. The warm glow was inside me now, and I could see the new god resting there. 

The god watched me, laying so that they could focus on me and only me. I shuddered and twitched, feeling myself move to accommodate this child. 

“I must keep it fed,” the god whispered into my ear. “From now on, you must stay here, you must wait with me, Sigrun.”

I nodded. “My life and its are entwined now. I understand everything, my love.”

The god cupped its hand around me. “I am glad. I have waited so long. I feel as though my body will burst with joy. But you need me, our child needs me. I will contain myself.”

I smiled up at them, beaming with joy and radiance. I snuggled closer while the angels chanted.

I woke, but I was not with my god. I was heavily pregnant, and laying in the bed at the decrepit house. I struggled to stand and I stepped over the corpse of Dr. Hamlin. As I looked outside, I saw the sunrise through the rain.

“Sigrun!” My raven called to me and landed. It dropped a parcel into my hands and I saw it was an apple. 

I looked back up through the rain and I stepped out, naked, into it. I let it wash over me and I held the apple up towards the sky.

“Sigrun!” My raven called. 

I took a bite of the apple, tasting the rain upon it as well as the love of my god. Inside me the child shifted. I placed a hand upon my belly.

“Are you excited, my love?” I breathed in deep, letting the rain fall upon my tongue. “This is all yours. Everything that stretches out before us, it was made for you.”

I finished off the apple and, when I returned inside the house, the corpse of Dr. Hamlin was moving. The back arched upwards then flopped back down against the floor. Sinew tore where it hadn’t decayed, and flesh fell off in thick chunks. Dr. Hamlin’s head rolled under the bed and the belly became exposed. The shape that was in his belly was moving, it writhed and clawed and a beak pierced through. It feasted upon the flesh until it could finally escape. A raven emerged and its eyes were completely white. I extended my hand and the new angel perched upon my wrist.

“Welcome, Hamlin.”

The raven croaked and flew off, hitting the wall then went out the door. As I went back to the bed, my raven fluttered in and watched me. I looked towards them and I smiled softly to myself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you, Joey.”

My raven screamed and came to sit on the bed with me.

As time went on in the field, I became more and more aware of its intentions. The field was just part of the god, and it chose where the lost went inside. Since I carried the child, I was able to navigate the field and find myself safety and comfort when I needed it. Despite the size of my belly, I continued to roam the field, it was my joy to travel through it, my love and pleasure. 

The angels kept their watch over me, bringing me things I needed or gifts from the god. It does not reveal itself to me often these days. Every once in a while, it will bring me to it so that it can feed the child within me. Each time, though, I have noticed that the god appears smaller than before. 

I remember my first vision of it and how big it was. I was awed and captivated by the size of it, but now, it appeared barely bigger than me. I wonder if it is because of the child, or if I now rival the god’s importance.

The field, too, had started to feel less than it was. While endless and eternal still, I sometimes could see over the grass and stalks to the town where I grew up. There were days when I felt as though I could step from the eternity and back into the world I was born into. Fear kept me inside, though, so I retreated until all I could see was the field again.

There came a day when a young woman stumbled onto my path. She looked new, like she had only just stumbled into the field. Her shoes were filthy, as were her knees and hands. There was dirt under her nails and her shorts were covered in dirty handprints. She looked at me, bewildered and yet joyous at the same time.

“I haven’t seen someone in so long!” She ran at me then stopped. She held her arms open like she wanted to hug me, but I could see in her eyes she doubted my existence.

“How long have you been here?” I asked her.

She looked around then cupped her hands over her ears. I could see a small device in her ear, it went into the canal then wrapped around to the back. “I uhm-” She tapped that ear. “It’s been hours, maybe?” Her voice warbled. “Days? I don’t know.” She stood there, looking small and pathetic like a child.

I held my hand out to her. “I’m Sigrun, let’s get you something to drink.”

The girl hesitated, taking my hand then squeezing it with all her might. “I know your name, I’ve heard it before. Out there-” Her eyes went behind her as if expecting something to follow. 

I looked at her hand, it seemed so much smaller than mine. “What is yours?” 

“Hannah.” Her fingers laced with mine. “How long have you been here, Sigrun?”

I shook my head. “It is hard to tell, much like you said.” I took Hannah back to the old house, leading her inside where there were ravens placed everywhere. Her eyes grew large at the sight of them and she hesitated coming through the door.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“All these birds,” she whispered. “They keep trying to chase me.”

“Maybe they were trying to lead you to me.” I patted a chair at the table. “Come sit down, I’ll get you some water.”

Hannah didn’t move, she just stared from the door as I turned on the faucet. 

“How did you come to be here, Hannah?” I looked back at her as I trailed my fingers through the stream. 

“My friends and I were on a road trip,” she answered meekly. “We were going to go see some friends at the beach.” She swallowed as she watched the water. “I needed to use the bathroom, so we pulled over and I went into the field so I could go and-” She took her first step into the house.

“You ended up where you needed to be. Come.”

Hannah continued inside, she came to stand beside me and she put her head under the faucet. She drank and drank until she coughed and had to lift her head. She took a deep breath and sighed with relief. 

“Thank you!”

I smiled at her and pointed to the table. “Have a seat, rest a while.”

“What about you?” She motioned to my belly. “Aren’t you afraid?”

I laid my hand over my stomach and it visibly squirmed from within. Hannah’s eyes widened and she looked away from it. “I am safe here. It is a long story, Hannah.”

She fidgeted in her seat and tugged at the frayed edges of her shorts. “Where are you from?” She murmured softly. “We passed by a small town on the way here. It seemed kind of abandoned though.”

“That’s home,” I nodded. “Or was. I can’t exactly tell how long I have been here. Time moves differently, I’m sure you’ve noticed that.”

Hannah nodded, her eyes kept averting to the ravens. “Do you know a way out?” She turned her eyes back upon me. “I have been trying to find a way out. I went back the way I came, but there was no end. It just kept going and going and-” She trembled as the ravens shifted.

“Do you know what this place is? Is it cursed or something?” She rubbed her hands together before setting them on the table top.

I smiled serenely at her. “No, nothing like that at all. I know it can seem like a scary place, but let me assure you, Hannah, it’s actually quite blessed here.”

She didn’t believe me; in fact, her expression looked exactly like Joey’s all those lifetimes ago. It made me fond of Hannah, to my surprise. 

“How is that possible? I have been wandering through this...thing for what feels like an eternity, and yet there’s no end, no change of time, only these birds.” Her eyes looked up and down to the table top.

I reached out to touch her and take her hand. “That’s because it is eternity. This field is part of the god.” Her hand recoiled as my fingers touched hers. “We are inside of the god, Hannah. Don’t you find that beautiful?”

Hannah’s brow pursed and she looked at me in disbelief, the same eyes and face that Joey had when I told him about the god in the field. “No,” she gasped under her breath. “I’m sorry, but that sounds horrifying.” She started to chuckle. “This...tell me, this must be a joke right? Some prank? It must be, it has to be.”

“This is no joke, no prank, nothing of the sort. Everything here is true and honest, made for people like us who were lost in the world. The god finds us and keeps us, it gives us place and meaning among its field.” I clutched my hands over my chest. “You are one of its kept, Hannah. It is a blessing.”

Hannah’s expression became stern, almost frightened. “You think this is a blessing? Getting trapped in some eternal nightmare maze?” She pulled at the ends of her long hair.

“Then how do you explain what is around you?” I waved my hand towards the window and then smiled at her again. “You said so yourself this was like eternity.”

“Things like this just don’t exist. There has to be a reason! There is an explanation to everything. It just can’t exist!” She looked at all the ravens again, eyes darting around as she expected them to move. She pulled at her hair more until some came out in her fingers. 

“There is,” I chuckled. “I told you before, the god finds the lost and keeps them. You were lost, so it kept you. What more reason do you need?”

Hannah then looked at me, almost triumphant in her gaze and within her own mind. She grinned and laughed. “How do you know this god is even real?”

I laid my hands upon my belly and smiled. “Because I have met it,” I reply. “I have seen it, touched it, made love to it.”

Her expression of disbelief faded into one of disgust. “It’s probably just some guy-”

I cut her off quickly. “This is no man. It is nothing and everything. It is the god of this field, and the god of the next grows inside me.”

Hannah’s eyes focused on my belly and she turned pale. Her hand cupped over her mouth and she stood up. “I need to get out of here.”

I moved to follow after her. “You were brought to me for a reason, Hannah, please don’t go.”

She ran from me, stumbling out the door and then racing down the stairs. She ran back into the field, but moments later, she ran back out in front of the house. She looked different, dirtier, scraggly. Her eyes were bewildered and wild. She ran back inside again, only to come out  again moments later, changed even more. Hannah knit her fingers into her matted hair, pulling and tugging, almost ripping off her scalp. She was crying and cussing, running back in only to return to me further changed.

“What the fuck is happening?” She blubbered. “Why does this keep happening to me?”

I heard her once before, long ago when I first arrived in the field. She had been walking alongside me and Dr. Hamlin, we never even realized. I walked down to her as she collapsed onto her knees.

“Don’t you understand now? You were meant to be here. I won’t harm you, I promise. You’re safe with me, Hannah.”

Hannah lashed out, slapping my hands away. She jumped up and took a lighter from her pocket. Her hand shook as she held it aloft. “I’ll use this, I swear.” She then clutched it closer to her bosom. “I’ve not used it because I couldn’t find my way out, but now...if there is no way out, I might as well set this world on fire.”

I stepped closer towards her, reaching out my hand. “Now, Hannah, don’t be silly. Hand the lighter over to me.”

“No!” She barked. “This place is evil! You, your god, and whatever the hell is inside you!” She struck the lighter so the flame came out. “Maybe I’ll just wake up from this nightmare.” She went to light the grass but a raven flew by, capturing the lighter in her hand.

The raven then dropped it at my feet and I placed my foot upon it. Hannah stared, her eyes almost darting about in her head. “Give it back.”

I bent over as best I could with my large belly and I picked up the lighter. I huffed, feeling dizzy from the effort, my back also hurting. “Come now, Hannah. You don’t want to do this.”

“Fuck you, lady!” Hannah’s shaking hands clenched. “Don’t tell me what to do, you’re the craziest piece of shit I’ve ever met!”

“Lost,” I murmured. “Of course.” I put the lighter away and I walked back inside. “I can’t force it upon you, you have to come to it yourself.”

I laid down to sleep and I slipped into a long dream. I stood before the field as a child, watching it sway in the breeze. Inside, I could see myself as an adult with the god standing behind me. The god took hold of me as smoke began to rise in the distance. The ravens began leaving the field enmasse, rising up high into the sky until it turned completely black. The smoke billowed upwards, creating galaxies against the endless black. Flames rose, lighting up the world like a sunrise. The flames licked higher and higher to become outstretched hands, praying.

I heard the cry of a baby and, inside of the field, I saw my body laid down bloody on piles of grass. Standing above me was the girl, Hannah, holding something in her arms. Her hair was on fire and her gaze penetrated deep into me. The baby cried and, as she looked at it, she turned on her heel and walked back into the flames. 

My body on the ground, draped over the stalks of grass and corn, began to melt away in the flames, it turned into a long, black snake that slithered towards me. The jaws unhinged in my face and I saw the face of the god down its throat.

I woke calmly, eyes raising towards the gray light of the window. I breathed deep, stretching my arms and legs. Once I rose, I discovered Hannah under the bed. She looked different than she did before. She looked smaller somehow, more filthy. Her hair was matted and tangled and there were cuts and marks on her face and arms.

I got up from bed and found Joey was the only raven in the house. “She’s here to take care of the new god, isn’t she?” I whispered to him. “I saw it in a dream last night.” I sat down as Joey hopped closer to me. “She will bring in the new beginning while my child signifies the end.” I smiled as Joey nuzzled into my palm.

I looked down at my belly which had grown purple and black with the new baby. I ran my hand over it, feeling the child inside reach out to touch me. “It will be born soon, I can feel it.” 

Hannah crawled out from under the bed. As she looked up at me, I saw little of the youth she had entered the field with. She had spent a long time here, but for me, it had barely been a day since meeting her. She stood up from the floor and silently went over to the faucet to have a drink.

“I need help, Hannah,” I told her. “Can you do it?”

Hannah lifted her head from the sink and, as she wiped her mouth, her skin looked clean. She looked back at me, eyes sunken and dark, but their vivid color remained unchanged. Her eyes looked up and down me, remaining silent until she chose to answer.

“You’re going to die,” she said.

“That is why I need your help. My baby-”

Hannah let out a sharp barking laugh. “It is not a baby. It is a monster, just like the thing that created it.” She leaned down close to me. “You will die, the god will die, and this thing will take its place. Nothing at all changes. So what is the point?”

“It’s fate,” I whispered back at her. “What else could it possibly be?”

“It’s the end.” She placed her hand on my belly. “This is the end, pure and simple.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Who told you that.”

Hannah’s eyes focused upon me and she lowered down even more so that our foreheads were touching. “The angels, they whispered it to me in my sleep. They told me everything, and I know it is my choice.”

I placed my hand upon Hannah’s cheek. “A prophet. You were chosen, just like me, to be part of this divine happening.”

Hannah’s hand slipped around my throat. “This world will end because of that thing inside you. I’m not going to let that happen.”

I took hold of her wrist and forced it harder against my neck. “It will be born with or without me, so go ahead, do it, choke the life from me first.”

Her hand quivered and she slowly released me. She sat back down and kept her eyes focused on the table top.

Joey hopped along the table, sitting centered between Hannah and I. “If you have been given a choice, Hannah, then I ask simply that you listen and think about the options laid before you. I will not beg you for one outcome or the other, it will not matter to me anyways. You were chosen for this great task by the god in the field, obviously you are to be trusted.”

Her gaze didn’t falter, she didn’t lift her head or move an inch of her body. She stayed frozen in place as if waiting for the grain on the table to change.

I reached into my pocket and felt the lighter inside. “Stay there if you so wish, but you will have to choose shortly. When the child is born, I will not be here. Only you will remain.” I placed the lighter on the table and Joey pecked at it. “You can have it back; as a prophet, you will have a relic.” I then stood up from the table with some effort. “I’m going to go get some fresh air.”

I walked out into the field, stepping back into the grass. As I walked along the path, I felt the ground move. It shriveled at my feet, turning black and twisted with dead roots. I soon came upon the god’s cave, the mouth was smaller and was closing shut. Inside I could hear the god breathing.

“I do not regret my time here,” I spoke softly. “I just wish that it had come sooner. I know why it didn’t, and I know why I came here when I was needed.” I knelt down before the mouth of the cave. “Am I selfish for wanting more time? Time with you?” The tears were coming fast, they pushed past my lashes and quickly fell down my cheeks. “I do not want this to end, I do not want you to go away. I do not want to die just to be lost again!”

“Listen to me,” my mother’s voice spoke back. “You have trusted me this far, you must continue to trust me even unto death. You must know that even as your eyes close, I will be with you. You are not lost so long as you know me.”

I reached into the cave, hoping to feel it, to touch it one last time before the end. Instead I felt a pain inside me. I pulled my arm back, cowering over as I held my belly. But the pain was gone in that instant. I looked into the cave and tried again, reaching my hand inside only to feel that horrible pain return. I reached deeper and further inside until the pain was almost unbearable. My hand touched the wall and, inside me, I could feel my own fingers flinch. 

I pulled away, recoiling back from the cave. I felt weak and dizzy, but I managed to take myself back to the house. Hannah was standing outside with something burning at her feet. As I came closer, there were black feathers scattered all over the ground. 

“Hannah,” I panted. “What have you done?”

She stepped back from the small fire where that was a speared raven over the flames. “They wouldn’t shut up,” she snarled under her breath. “They wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“Hannah, no,” I shuffled over to her, grabbing her by the arm as I approached the fire. “This is not the way! You shouldn’t hurt them. Promise me you won’t anymore. Promise!”

Hannah shook me off of her and she stepped away. “This is my choice, remember?” She went back inside the house, leaving me to cry over the burning angel. Joey came and landed on my shoulder, and while I was relieved to see him, I was also terrified.

“Why didn't you try to stop her?” I whimpered. “This isn’t right.”

Joey flew away, going into the sky. 

“Wait!” I cried out. “Come back!” I stretched my hands out into the sky, running after him as he flew. “Wait! Not yet!” I tripped and fell, hitting the ground rather hard. I wailed in agony, managing to roll myself over onto my back. There was blood on the ground and I could feel it pooling against my back.

As I laid there, I watched the ravens fly up into the sky; there were so many of them that everything was turning black above me. They formed a cloud which eclipsed the sun and the world around me became shadowed. I breathed slowly as the pain grew. It ripped up through my spine then spiked through my chest. 

I closed my eyes for what felt like only a moment, but when I opened them again, I saw that everything was on fire. The field, the house, the sky, it was all illuminated in perfect orange flames.

I had to trust the god of the field, that I knew, that I would keep with me. “Oh,” I whisper. “It’s the beginning.”

Hannah appeared above me and she knelt down by my side. She lifted me up in her arms and held me there. The pain had become such a constant that I was numb all over. I watched from her arms as the field burned; deep inside it, I could hear the kept screaming.

“What did you decide?” I whisper to her. 

Hannah looked through the flames, her bright eyes focused on what would become the new horizon. “I can’t tell you. It’s not for you to know.”

I laid my cheek upon her arm. “I wish we had more time,” I spoke gently. “I wish I had known you before all of this. I wish we could have been friends.”

“Could we have been?” Hannah asked. “Without this field, without your god, could we have ever understood one another?”

“I would like to think so.” I squeezed her hand tight. “Don’t leave me yet, Hannah, I’m so scared.”

“You don’t seem like it.” She stroked my hair from my face.

“I am,” I wept. “I’m so scared to leave!”

Hannah’s eyes looked down and they widened. Her jaw dropped open and she quickly looked away, burying her face against my hair.

The child was breathing its first breath, taking in the smoke and fire of the field around it. It came through my womb and belly, emerging into the world it would start again.

“Thank you,” I whispered into the void. “Thank you.”

Rain pattered against the glass and, outside, everything was gray and foggy. The baby was crying from her crib so I got up to check on her. I took her up in my arms, rocking her softly back and forth until the crying ceased. 

Joey came into the room, rubbing his eyes as he held a bottle. “You got her?”

“Yeah,” I murmured. “I had the strangest dream.”

“What about?” Joey handed me the bottle.

I shook my head. “It felt like I was reliving a memory.” I looked outside at the field and saw the stalks moving from within. The baby fussed in my arms and I held her up again. “Oh, Hannah, don’t pout.”

Joey looked outside. “Shit, Mrs. Farner is taking her turn.”

“You can see that?” I asked

Joey nodded. “Yeah. Her kids are with her.”

I kissed the top of Hannah’s head. “They watched their father, now their mother. She’ll have to do it too.”

“You think she’ll manage that?” Joey closed the curtains and walked over, kissing the top of my head then rubbing my shoulders. 

“I think so. I did, you did.” I smiled up at him. “But, I’m glad we’re here.” I accept his kiss then continue to feed Hannah. “Go back to bed, I’ll take care of her.”

“Nah, I’d rather be here.” He sits down in the soft chair across the room. “Tell me about your dream, did it have a happy ending?”

I looked into Hannah’s bright eyes as she opened them. I smoothed my fingers across her cheek where there was a birthmark that looked like a scratch. “I never found out.”

Joey chuckled. “Left before the movie ended?”

“More like I had to restart it." There was a tapping at the window, and between the curtains, I saw a raven with white eyes sitting on the sill. “That angel is back.”

“Just ignore it.” Joey yawned and snuggled down into the chair. “Was I in your dream?”

“You always are.” Hannah began to drift even as she nursed. I took the bottle away and stood to walk her back and forth across the floor. After I put her into her crib, I watched her sleep as Joey wrapped his arms around me. Hannah looked so perfect and peaceful. 

“What will you tell her when it's our turn to go to the god in the field?” He whispered.