Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [16]

While Hoshino and Ino were still shoving at each other, both groups noticed the two very conspicuous culprits.

“Hoshino, you ran out of the men’s toilet just for this!?”

Naruto was the first to storm up, glaring at Hoshino with the eyes of someone looking at scum. She had just finished explaining to Sasuke that no, she wasn’t hated, delivering a flawless assist—and here he was, two-timing already!?

Sasuke followed behind. She didn’t focus her glare on Hoshino, but instead fixed it on Ino—staring at her like she was a bitch in heat. The one who kindly picked out flowers for me—turns out she’s the kind of woman who throws herself at Hoshino shamelessly?

Hoshino, convinced that Sasuke and Naruto had really gone into the men’s toilet looking for him, and thus that their “male” cover was ironclad, could only sigh in helplessness. Why can’t that idiot Naruto just properly go on a date with Nii-chan Jr.? Keep this up and you’ll be single for life!

“Ah… ah, ahh… wh-why…”

Ino was completely rattled by seeing SasuNaru appear together. The demon fox moved this fast!? Just yesterday he’d been rejected by Sasuke, and today the two of them were strolling the temple fair together! And—Sasuke’s gaze was so piercing. Was he angry at her for declaring “war” on Naruto yesterday?

“Ino, the way you’re trying to interfere in a relationship is disgusting. If you keep it up, I won’t mind using the Uchiha clan’s power.”

Sasuke coldly warned her off. Dragging open someone else’s coat to stuff your head in—that was already sexual harassment. Didn’t this woman notice how uncomfortable Hoshino looked?

Ino never dreamed Sasuke would actually threaten her—for the sake of the demon fox. It was just a little declaration of rivalry, wasn’t it? Unless… she really was a third wheel intruding between Sasuke and Naruto!?

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. So she hurriedly apologized:

“S-sorry, I didn’t think it would turn out like this… b-but your genders don’t match, so… I absolutely won’t give up! Being with me is what makes sense in this world!”

Ino refused to give up chasing Sasuke. She couldn’t agree with Naruto’s words. Two males together was what didn’t make sense. Even if she was a third wheel, she could still face herself with no shame!

Sasuke nearly choked. Yes, right now she was a “boy.” Being with Hoshino really would be improper. But—but she had her reasons! This wasn’t “gay,” damn it!

“Y-you… bitch woman!”

“Bitch it is. I’ll be your third wheel!”

“I’ll never let a bitch like you have your way!”

Staaaaare—!! ×2

While Sasuke and Ino glared daggers at each other, Hoshino and Naruto glared daggers at each other too.

“You brat, why do you never get the damn atmosphere? Dragging me into this.”

“Hmph! It’s because I got the atmosphere that I came over. What you did was wrong!”

“What’s wrong? This is exactly the choice any man would make!”

“No way—!! Hoshino, your logic is totally broken!”

“The broken one is you—!!”

Both were fuming, each furious that the other had sabotaged their “perfect assist.”

Damn brat (scumbag)! When the hell will you understand my painstaking kindness!!

Staaaaare—!! ×2

…

Just as the four of them bristled on the verge of war, two middle-aged men wheeled over their sons to make New Year’s prayers.

“Well, well, little Ino sure is popular, hahaha~”

Akimichi Chōza, spotting his niece apparently being “pursued” by three boys at once, called out with amusement.

“…Uncle Chōza, Uncle Shikaku, happy new year.”

Though Ino dearly wished the fathers of those two idiot sons hadn’t seen this, since they had, she had no choice but to greet them.

Unlike Ino, Hoshino wasn’t emotionally tangled at all. He just looked curiously at Chōji and Shikamaru in their wheelchairs.

Seriously? Overeating and not eating for two days—bad enough for wheelchairs?

Sensing the doubt from Hoshino and SasuNaru, Chōza spoke up to explain the “three suitors”:

“This brat Chōji is too gluttonous. If I let my guard down, he’ll run off looking for food.”

That explained why Chōji was mummified in bandages, strapped tightly to his chair.

Once that doubt was settled, they turned their eyes to Shikaku.

“…Do I have to explain too? What a drag. This brat Shikamaru thought walking was too troublesome. His mother already dressed him, so as his father I had no choice but to bring him by wheelchair… Of course, I benefit too.”

With that, Hoshino instantly understood. As expected of the Nara family’s “geniuses.” With Shikamaru playing “disabled,” not only did he get to skip walking, but Shikaku also got people clearing a path for him through the crowd. Niubi!

Even Ino wanted to crawl into a hole. Even Sasuke and Naruto wanted to get far, far away. But—

Hoshino happily trailed behind Chōza and Shikaku’s wheelchairs. Because all along the line, people generously let them pass—“these great fathers with disabled sons should pray sooner.”

The three girls could only exchange helpless looks. This way of cutting in line—ugh, morally awful. But they didn’t want to wait hours just to make a New Year’s wish either. Covering their faces, they silently followed Hoshino.

A few witnesses couldn’t help thinking:
Was this the collapse of morals, or the loss of humanity? No one knew…

Whatever anyone thought, Hoshino was delighted. In just minutes, he skipped a wait of hours. Judging from the fathers’ prayers, Chōza and Shikaku had probably wished for their sons to act more normal. Then it was his turn.

He rang the bell, dug into his pocket for a 500-yen coin—uh, wrong one—stuffed it back, pulled out a handful of change, picked a single 1-yen coin, and dropped it in. Then he prayed to be granted the invincible plagiarism skill all “humble” transmigrators had.

The three girls, already embarrassed, saw him swap out 500 yen for 1 yen in front of the crowd. At once, they put on faces of “I don’t know this man,” bowed their heads, and briskly left the shrine.

Ahhh—so embarrassing! This cheapskate is beyond saving! ×3

Once Hoshino finished, he looked up and saw Ino and SasuNaru already far away.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to make wishes?” he shouted, breaking into a quick trot to catch up.

But for some reason, the instant the three girls heard his voice, their brisk walk turned into a full-out sprint…

---

T/N: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!