Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [11]

After he and Ino finished grieving over the tragedy of other people’s IQs—

Hoshino dawdled and chatted with Ino for more than an hour. In the end, there wasn’t much progress to show for it. The only real achievement was that the little girl who had been afraid of him was now barely willing to acknowledge him as an “acquaintance.”

To call her an acquaintance was generous, though. At most, it was the kind where if they ran into each other again, they might nod hello.

“Alright, we’ve talked long enough. It’s about time I actually buy some flowers. I’ll go with lilacs. As for how many… Ino, however many you think looks best, I’ll take.”

Just when Ino was about to snap from wondering if this silver-haired freeloader was ever going to buy something or if he only came to pester her, Hoshino finally stopped throwing out random conversation topics. The entire time he had been “chatting,” every subject he brought up was met only with her listless “mm,” “ah,” and “oh.”

Seriously, who the hell could keep forcing a conversation under those conditions!?

From this awkward exchange, Hoshino once again confirmed a hard truth:

This damned world was just as hateful as the three-dimensional real one.

Weren’t protagonists in isekai stories supposed to charm girls into smiling with just a few lines? Why had none of that happened? Especially that golden rule—“tell a few otherworldly jokes and she’ll look at you differently.”

Every time Hoshino recalled Ino’s “awkward yet polite” smile, he wanted to vanish from this world on the spot. Vanish completely—without leaving the faintest trace.

He had followed the methods of countless transmigrator protagonists, yet the result was such a scam. Everyone else who crossed into another world lived large—why was his life the only one that sucked so badly? It wasn’t fair!

Even as his mental state teetered on collapse, Hoshino had still gathered enough intel for his plan.

Lilacs—the flower of confession, symbolizing first love.

Because Ino’s favorite color was purple, he had chosen them. The idea was to present the bouquet to the little loli later, and from there continue coaxing her closer.

“Mm, that’s right, exactly… wait? Huh!? Did you just say—you finally decided which flowers to buy!?”

Ino had been giving her automatic, half-hearted replies, until suddenly something felt off. When she realized what he’d said, she darted off to grab materials and quickly wrapped the bouquet.

Finally—no more being forced to keep humoring this silver-haired loafer. Thank goodness!

Seeing Ino’s open dislike, Hoshino’s fragile heart took yet another wound. He shuffled over to where Naruto was stifling his laughter—

And kicked him straight out of the flower shop!

“The hell are you laughing at!?”

“Hahaha—! But—but, Hoshino, the way you just looked was hilarious. Just thinking about that awkward atmosphere makes me—pfft, hahahaha!”

Watching Naruto roll on the ground, clutching his stomach and howling with laughter, Hoshino bitterly regretted not bringing a kunai today.

One of these days, I swear, I’ll stab this brat to death with a kunai.

Passersby had no idea what was happening, but Naruto rolling around the street laughing drew way too much attention. A crowd quickly gathered, staring at him with looks that clearly asked, “Is this kid mentally handicapped?”

Hoshino felt he had already embarrassed himself enough for one day. He was ready to turn his back and pretend not to know Naruto at all—when, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a familiar figure among the onlookers.

“Eh? Nii-chan Jr.? What are you doing here?”

“‘Nii-chan Jr.’…!? What kind of awful nickname is that!”

For the past week, Sasuke had spent every day in the hospital, tending to his elder brother Itachi. Never in his life did he expect that on his way out to buy flowers—flowers meant to wish his brother a swift recovery—he would run into Hoshino and Naruto making fools of themselves in the middle of the street.

The moment that brat Naruto heard Sasuke’s voice, he froze as if hit with tranquilizer, then scrambled up off the ground and rushed over to him.

“Sasuke! Long time no see! What have you been up to? Hoshino and I both… uh, well, I really missed you!”

“There’s been… some stuff at home. My brother—never mind that. You—what were you doing just now, rolling on the ground holding your stomach? Were people making fun of you again like a monkey?”

Seeing Sasuke and Naruto happily catching up like good buddies, Hoshino decided not to butt in. He turned toward the shop to pick up the bouquet Ino was still wrapping. Time to launch his operation, codename “Love.” But just then—

“I’m no monkey! Compared to me, Hoshino just now looked way more like a monkey. Inside the shop, he—”

Bang!

Before Naruto could spill, Hoshino slammed his fist hard against the flower shop’s wall. Cutting him off, he followed up with a throat-slitting gesture, a silent warning.

“G-guh…!”

“Naruto? Hey… are you okay?”

Naruto’s sudden gulp and abrupt silence left Sasuke staring, baffled.

Several seconds passed before Hoshino finally stepped back into the shop. Only then did Naruto recover from his trembling.

“I—I’m fine… Sorry. I just can’t say any more. I don’t want to die this early.”

“…Haa?”

“D-don’t look at me so curiously. If I told you what just happened… I really would die.”

Sasuke stared, exasperated. But having lived through the “Orange Panties Incident,” he knew that whenever Hoshino and Naruto talked, it was always nonsense. Their brains just worked that way. So he let it slide and brought the conversation back to normal.

“You and Hoshino—what are you doing here? Buying flowers to give someone too?”

“Correct! Heh. Yeah, we’re here to buy flowers for someone too.”

Naruto gave a thumbs-up, then leaned in close to whisper conspiratorially in Sasuke’s ear.

“Secretly telling you—Hoshino spent over an hour just picking the flowers he’s gonna give to you.”

“He—he really spent that much time… just to buy flowers for me!?”

“…Sasuke, your face is really red. Are you sick?”

“N-no. Just… j-just a little embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? Why?”

While Naruto puzzled over Sasuke’s sudden shyness, Hoshino stepped out of the shop holding a bouquet. He gave Sasuke a smile, then beckoned Naruto aside.

Sasuke froze in place. The moment he saw the lilac bouquet in Hoshino’s hands, his face flushed crimson.

A week of bringing flowers to Itachi in the hospital had given him some utterly useless knowledge about flower language—enough to understand exactly what those lilacs meant.

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!