What She Says...and What She's Thinking

“You used to date a black guy, right?” you asked your girlfriend one evening.

She studied your face. She could sense trouble. “Yeah,” she said.

Suddenly you weren’t so sure about asking the question that had been bugging you since your friends had pointed out that your girlfriend’s black ex probably had a much bigger dick than you and probably fucked her a lot better than you did.

You had to know, though. “Was he…well, did he live up to the stereotype?” you asked.

Please, let's not do this, she thought.

Your girlfriend’s eyes narrowed. You saw a flash of frustration on her face, but you’d already asked the question. There was no going back.

“Are you talking about the size of his cock?” your girlfriend asked.

Honestly, let's not do this. Just let it go, she thought.

“Um…yeah,” you answered.

Your girlfriend put her phone down and cuddled up next to you. “Are you feeling a little insecure?” she asked. Her voice was pure and sweet. There was a hint of a smile, but you could tell she wanted to make you feel better.

“A little,” you answered.

“Well, I don’t want to lie,” she said. “He was above average. I mean, nothing huge, but he was a good size. I mean, it’s not like he was so big that I couldn’t fit my fingers all the way around his incredibly thick cock.”

His cock was huge, she thought. He was twice as long as you are and at least twice as thick. I couldn't come close to wrapping my fingers all the way around his massive, magnificent black cock. I miss the way it felt to stroke him. I miss how hard he got for me. I miss how wet I used to get when I'd see his big black cock. I miss how it felt to stretch my pretty lips around it when I blew him. You're right to feel insecure about your size compared to his, because you really can't compare.

“So, he wasn’t that much bigger than I am?” you asked.

“No, honey. Not that much bigger. I promise,” she answered.

It's kind of cute that he's insecure, she thought. I'm not sure he could handle it if he knew how big my ex really was, though. I think it might break him. I think he might have trouble getting hard if he got caught up in thinking about how my pussy used to be stretched out by a massive black dick.

You felt so stupid for being insecure about your size, but you couldn’t help it. Your friends had spent most of lunch teasing you about the idea that your girlfriend had been reamed out by a huge black cock and that your white dick couldn’t possibly compare.

“So, was the sex all that different?” you asked. “I mean, was he…better?”

He was so much better, she thought.

Your girlfriend leaned closer. Her hand dropped between your legs and she caressed your cock, bringing it to life. “Of course not, baby. It was different, I guess, but I wouldn’t say he was better. I swear, it’s not like you see in porn videos. It’s not like he would pound me so hard that I’d end up twitching and screaming in pure sexual joy. It wasn’t like that at all.”

That's exactly what he would do, she thought. He'd pound my tight white pussy until I was screaming his name. He'd pound me with such strength and vigor that my toes would curl, my legs would shake, and my pussy would erupt in orgasm, making a beautiful mess by squirting all over. He's far and away the best I've ever had. He was a shit boyfriend, but he fucked me so good.

You’d seen the videos she was talking about. You’d watched a few of them that afternoon. The taunting words of your friends ran through your mind as you watched. You imagined your girlfriend taking a big black cock in her pussy. You imagined her screaming in joy. You imagined her cumming so hard.

You were relieved to hear that her black boyfriend hadn’t been like that. You were relieved to hear that she didn’t have those kinds of memories running through her head when you slipped your decidedly average white cock into her pussy.

“Where’s all this coming from?” your girlfriend asked as she continued to lightly play with your cock.

“At lunch, the guys, they were taunting me, I guess. They were saying that you’re probably disappointed with my dick. They were just kidding, but something about it got under my skin,” you said.

Your friend were right, she thought. I love you, and you're a wonderful boyfriend, but your dick is disappointing. I still cum sometimes, but the sex is never as good as it was with him. It's not even close.

Your girlfriend kissed your cheek. “I’m not disappointed,” she said. “I promise. He really wasn’t that much bigger and he definitely didn’t fuck me in the kind of way that will have me thinking about it for the rest of my life. Sex doesn’t really work that way. It’s not like he was so good that I can close my eyes and still feel like I’m on my back with his cock inside me.”

That's a lie, she thought. I don't even have to close my eyes to be able to picture his cock and to remember what it felt like inside me. I'm thinking about it right now. I'm getting wet thinking about it, in fact. I kind of wish you hadn't brought it up, because now I just want to feel his cock inside me one more time. Now I just want to get stretched out by that big, beautiful, utterly perfect black cock of his. Now I'm worried I'm going to feel even more disappointed by your cock.

Your cock was stiff by that point. Your insecurities had washed away thanks to your girlfriend’s reassurances and you were feeling frisky.

She looked up at you and you took advantage of the moment to kiss her. She moaned and stroked your cock faster.

“Do you want to go to the bedroom?” you asked.

No, I don't, she thought. I'm wet, but not for you, and I know you won't be able to make me cum, and I know I'll only be thinking of his cock. Fuck, it's all I can think about now.

She smiled and said, “I can’t. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have teased you like this. I actually have to go. I have a dinner. I’m meeting an old friend.”

That's a lie, she thought. I just can't fuck you right now.

“When will you be home?” you asked.

I still have his number, she thought. I could call him. I could tell him I want him. He wouldn't turn me down. I know he loved my tight white pussy as much as I loved his big black cock. I know he'd love fucking me. I know he'd love it even more if he knew I was cheating on my boyfriend to be with him. I know he'd get off on pounding me with that big black cock and sending me back home to my boyfriend all stretched out and dripping with his cum.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in a while, so it might be late.”

I'm going to do it, she thought. I'm a terrible girlfriend, but I have to do it. I'm going to go out of my mind if I don't. I need his black cock inside me again.

“Him?” you asked.

“Yes, him,” she said. “I have guy friends too, you know. You don’t have to worry. It’s not like I’m meeting an ex-boyfriend or anything. It’s not like I’m going to cheat on you. It’s not like I’m going to spend the night getting fucked, or anything.”

I'm going to cheat on you, she thought. I wish I was better than this. I wish I could stop myself from doing this. I wish the BBC slut he created all those years ago wasn't still somewhere inside me. I wish you hadn't woken her up by being so fucking insecure about your small dick. I can't stop it now, though. I have to have him.

She kissed you again. “That’s your job, now,” she said. “You’re the one that satisfies me. You’re the one that fucks me. Okay?”

You don't really satisfy me, she thought. Not like he did. Not like he's going to tonight.

You smiled. You were a little disappointed you wouldn’t get to fuck her, but you felt good. Maybe you’d get to have sex when she got home. “Okay,” you said. “Have fun.”

“I will,” your girlfriend said. “I always do.”

I can't wait, she thought. I can't wait to feel him inside me again. I can't wait to feel him stretch out my tight little pussy again. I can't wait for him to pound me until I'm sore. I can't wait to have a great orgasm again. I can't wait to enjoy a real man's cock again.

This will be a one time thing, though, she thought. I won't cheat again. I'm not that kind of girl, right?