Eating struggles...

I don't know if you know what it is like to have so much food in front of you, food you like, but food you can't touch, knowing  it will make you sick. 

  If you do. I feel you. 

It's so frustrating because for me it concerns almost all food except some vegetables and animal proteins.  To explain why it's hard for me , let me tell you that before I was ill, I used to eat of everything and LOTS of everything. 

My friends always would offer my food as a gift. It was the easiest way to make me happy: food. 

  Now food is a torture.

Yesterday, a Chinese friend of my father cooked all the plates you see on the table.  There was caramel pork ,  marinated fish, fried rice noodles with cabbage , potatoes salad , in short : nothing I can eat...... Instead  I had my water cooked vegetables  ( I'm the plate with the spiderman glass) 

 .But the temptation was too strong. I decided to have a bite of everything.    Well now I can say my tummy is far from being healed.. I know I shouldn't have but I did anyway. I'm so stupid.   Not even 15 min after the first bite I felt the waves of reprisal coming. 

I had to quit the table and spent an awful night between painfull cramps and nausea. I couldn't eat anything today.   I know I can't blame my family for eating what they want in front of me , most of the time I  just sigh and eat my food, but sometimes it's more difficult because while you don't eat the same plates as the others you also don't share the vibes people have with festive meals. I always feel a tension and a feeling  of deception .They know I can't eat what they coocked, not that I don't want to, but  I can't help to notice it bothers people. Or maybe it's just me ? Probably.

I may be very nauseous today but that won't stop me from going to the pool. I have been wanting to go for 2 weeks and my brother already went without me. This time I don't care. I'm going even if I just lay down on the edges of the swimming pool like a big (small) pile of mush,  I just want to go ^^

Well this thread has become a blog at the moment.  I hope you don't mind . When I get back from Romania , I'll try to focus more on cosplay .

I'll let you with a picture of the past blending with the present.