new song! here's "gold" :)

hiiiii.

i don't know if it's been a week or a year since i last checked in. the baby vortex is real! 

life seems to go like this lately:

*wakes up* 

"oh today i should really ____!" (insert: take shower/text back my mom/water plants...)

*three days later finally does thing*

"I AM AMAZING!!!"

it's been quite a wonderful and nutty ride :) 

i am currently out in the middle of nowhere with my family, many of which are meeting our daughter aya for the first time! a peak moment was my not-quite-two year old nephew wanting to hold her and pat her gently on the head repeatedly. 😭it's been incredibly wonderful to be together again. 

so, to the point of this message--i have a new song out today with jome! for those of you that don't know jome, it's jesse's other band, and also my favorite band (not biased at all!)! jesse and i wrote “gold” two decembers ago just after starting ivf. as i’ve spoken about so often, beginning IVF and learning to embrace infertility was a very difficult and painful transition for me. “gold” is about the beauty and sacredness we discovered in moving through our fears and taking that first step. while this song came from those early moments of hope, it wasn’t long before the road got very bumpy again, and the triumphant energy of the song no longer matched how we were feeling. we tucked it away and promptly forgot about it.⁣

shortly after our daughter was born last month, our dear friends and collaborators christoph andersson and mike derenzo nudged us to reconsider putting this song out. we decided to give it one more listen, and we were transported back to that very first injection i gave myself and the ceremony we built around it. i felt the intensity of all our hope, fear, and strength in that moment. we had no idea how long and hard the journey ahead would be, and also no idea that two years later it would result in the amazing little being sleeping next to me right now. that rub i had felt with this song was gone, and in its place was excitement for it to be in the world. it is of course still true that we found gold all along our path to her, but now that she’s here, i mean… ✨✨ she makes it real easy to sing about gold now.⁣

"gold' is out now in all the places, or you can just go ahead and download it from this message :)

⁣i want to thank you all again for the love and patience while jesse and aya and i find our rhythm and soak in this new time together. it's been amazing and overwhelming and confusing and joy-filling and just about every other emotion imaginable. i am hoping by february i will be human enough to start up coffee date hangouts again! until then, sending you all lots and lots of love and gratitude through the ether <3

take care and be safe and THANK YOU!!

xo

kina