Scott Meyer

How to Process a Disturbing Occurence

Added 2023-09-04 07:00:01 +0000 UTC

It’s possible that the doctor used some other term, but my father interpreted it as his “tenderloin.” Frankly, that would not make the situation less disturbing for me.

If I remember my Good Eats properly, the tenderloins are two pointy cylinders of meat that run along the sides of the spine, toward the rear of the cow. They are where we get filet. I remember Alton Brown describing them as “meaty baseball bats.” I’m going to assume my father’s tenderloins are somewhat smaller than those of an Angus cow, though I fear they are just as well marbled.

I give the doctor top points for describing the problem in a manner that a layperson can understand and find memorable. I fear I could live another hundred years and still be able to recall, all too vividly, the day my father told me about the pinched nerve in his tenderloin. As long as the treatment doesn’t involve marinating, basting, or rubbing the sore area with garlic butter, I will give the doctor the benefit of the doubt.