Vent - Screm --

I forgot to post this along with the other sketches I had posted a while back.

It's a vent piece but not as self loathe-y as they have been in past years.

Starscream, like Julien, means a lot to me. With Julien I project a lot of what I positively want in life, real genuine love, wonderful family, dedicated partner, big home, all the good stuff.

With Starscream it's more of kinship, I know what it's like to believe in someone, to follow them through pain and torment out of love, dedication, approval, and to try and work so hard for them but to be treated like garbage. Like nothing.

But he's still a determined and strong character, he's been through a lot in so many iterations of himself but doesn't really give up. G1 and TFP are the  Scream I relate to the most.

TFP actually helped me out during the last few years of the relationship and made me realize how poisoned I had been from the abuse I was suffering. 

I was an underling, not an equal, he never cared for me but used me to do his dirty work without question, and for a long time I accepted that as my life, what else did I have? It's one of the main reasons why I support Starscream, as a concept, a character, needing support, not so much redemption in the form of changing sides or completely changing himself, but healing.

No one is perfect, no one is pure who has done no wrong ever, even on the smallest scale. I've been there, I was told to do something and I did it, I hurt people for him, I destroyed, I spread his hate, and what I don't think people realize is, in those kinds of situations, we convince ourselves that this is what we want, that we made these decisions on our own, to try and trick ourselves into believing we still have freedom of choice.

Ah, I'm rambling but- it's difficult.

I embrace and accept my inner Starscream but use his attributes for positivity and healing myself. 

I also went full 'hey I can draw realistic kinda I went to college for a year' lol.