Vanguard Word Update

2k words (It's a little less but that's because this is the end of the chapter)

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“You think a farmhand like me could afford to hire out a ship?” Cadell chuckled. “I suppose if I saved up I could have picked up an old rigger, but after spending my whole teens hearing about how the Confederates were raiding the Outer Reaches, that even Manildra wasn’t safe, I got to thinking on how I could help. The Alliance takes me in, and I get to see parts of the Reaches I’d never get to see as a rancher. Win-win in my books.”

“They promised you adventure,” Samiha noted, her tone calculating, as though she were assessing something. “but war is not adventure, Cadell, it is the process of turning the innocent into the guilty. Working the land for a burgeoning colony is a noble task that doesn’t ask much of you.”

“My Pa said something along those lines too,” Cadell mumbled, remembering his final days on Manildra. One parent furious, the other deathly quiet, Cadell unsure which he found more unsettling. All his siblings lined up at the porch, looking up at their older brother as though they’d never see him again. “Didn’t take you as being so against fighting the UEC, Samiha,” he continued. “You’re a soldier, too.”

“That’s because I do not have a choice,” she said. “I have nothing else to live for but to fight. But you do, Cadell, that is why I have called out your naivety multiple times. To walk willingly into this life…” She shook her head. “I will never understand it.”

“What do you mean, you’ve got nothing to live for?” he asked, concern in his voice. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“And why not? It is true. What happened in that Nebula, it…” She hesitated, taping her fingers against her glass. “My old life died in that place, and it’s one I will never get back.”

There was emotion in her voice, like she was using all her willpower to say the words. Cadell pushed aside his drink, looking her in the eye. “You lost someone there,” he said, Samiha’s feathers standing on end. “Someone close.”

“W-What? How…?”

“I’ve seen the signs, Samiha. The evasiveness, the implications. I don’t want to force you or nothin’, but if you want someone to talk to about it, if you need to get somethin’ off your chest, I’m all ears.”

“You’re remarkably perceptive,” Samiha noted, reaching up with a hand to hold down her crest feathers by force, like how a human might brush their hair when they were indecisive. “Fine. As my Kith’sla, you would have to know eventually.”

Samiha took another swig of her drink, more generous this time, as though she were using the alcohol to steel her nerves.

“My Takeela was so carefree,” she began. “Younger than me by a few rotations, but she had this infectious positivity that made coming home after a hard day worth every moment. She never let anything stop her from following in my own image, and I say my image because whatever task I pursued, she wouldn’t be far behind. When I became an artisan, she wasn’t that far behind. When I joined with the Guard, she would be right behind me in the queue.”

“Guard?” Cadell asked.

“Colony militia. We had detected strange radio signals from the far side of a nearby canyon – what we would eventually discover to be Confederate scouts – and the Kith’sla decided that bolstering the Guard was the best course of action. I kept telling her there was no point in knowing how to handle a laser gun in a time of peace. How wrong I was. If she hadn’t been so adamant, she would never have survived the exodus from Dur’shala.”

She traced the sides of her drink with her nails, sweeping up the moisture sweating from the glass.

“The first time she stepped from my shadow was after that, but before the Nebula. The Clan had desperate need of pilots at that point, and she wanted to join. I told her it took years to become qualified, she said she didn’t care. I told her she’d hit the first asteroid that came her way, and again, she didn’t care. She wanted to do something on her own path.” She paused. “I suppose that’s why I ended up dropping it in the end. Despite my warnings, she was a natural inside a Sala’ci. I got assigned to maintaining her craft, so I had my chance to keep a close eye on her. Things were going well.

“But when the first Hub ships contacted us, we quarrelled. I didn’t trust your kind. She did. That argument… it was the last time we spoke together.”

Now she gripped her drink tightly, as if she were trying to crush it.

“The Hub planned a major counterattack on the Confederate ships chasing us. Takeela got into her ship, and I watched from nearby, neither of us saying a word. We knew where the other stood on this suicidal plan. I watched the battle on the external monitors. At first we held the advantage, but then the Confederates threw all they had at our main fighter groups. Takeela was right in the middle of it all.”

“I had worked on her craft multiple times, so I knew how to tune into the frequency her wing used. Mistake. She had gone barely two minutes into the engagement when an alien fighter got on her tail and…”

Her throat clicked as she swallowed.

“Her ship caught a torpedo, and she screamed. It only went half a second before the signal cut off, but I remember it so, so clearly. That is my last memory of her – not of something pure, like the long goodbyes of our parents, but a scream of pain chased by static.”

That second to last bit struck a deep chord in Cadell. Takeela was her sister, killed by humans, during a skirmish that had also been planned by humans. Now he knew why she had been so hostile to him from the beginning.

“I’m sorry,” Cadell murmured.

“She is why I did this, you know?” Samiha added, the words coming out a little harder. “She spoke fondly of the Hub-Clan, she would have wanted me to complete the program. Instead, I almost ruined everything. Almost got dismissed out by the Kith’sla herself, treated you like you were the enemy. She would have done… done far better in my position.”

She sniffled, placed an elbow on the table and covered one side of her face with her hand.

“It should have been me,” she whispered. “Should have been me. But I got her killed.”

She went to say more, but nothing but a hitching breath escaped her lips. Cadell couldn’t bear to sit still any longer. He got up, crossed the booth towards her end, and put his arm on her fluffy shoulder.

“No, you didn’t,” he insisted. “The Confederates took her, that wasn’t your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked, her chest hitching again. “I could have tried harder to dissuade her, but I didn’t. Our parents’ last wish was that I take care of her, but I didn’t. How can I be your shield when I c-cannot even save my own family?”

Her features twisted in misery, Cadell watching as a drop of moisture fell from her lower eyelid, hitting the table with a tap. She muttered something that might have been Takeela, but Cadell didn’t quite catch it, as her gentle sobs followed it, slowly picking up in intensity.

“Hey,” Cadell murmured. “Samiha, listen to me.” Her eyes were buried in her hand, but he pushed on. “I won’t pretend to understand what it’s like to lose family, but you’ve done so much good for your sis’s memory. This program weren’t easy for any of us, but you never gave up, did you? And look at us now, we got put at the top of the platoon thanks to you and Kazlu, everyone’s envious of our Balokarid axillaries. You’ve come so far since day one, and I’m proud to have you on my team, and you can bet Takeela would be proud, too.”

Samiha began to sob harder at this, but this wasn’t quite a bad thing. She had probably kept a tight lid on all this since the battle itself, and now that the floodgates had opened, Samiha needed to let it all out.

Cadell did the only thing he could do in that moment. He reached out with his other hand and grabbed her other shoulder, motioning him into his embrace. She came willingly, her long arms looping over his sides and meeting at his spine, her warm breath enveloping his neck as her beak leaned on his arm.

“You don’t have to carry all this weight on your own,” Cadell said. “We’re in this together, Samiha, I’m always here, whenever you need. “

“I…” She sniffed, clutching him a little closer. “Thank you.”

Cadell was distracted by her softness, her feathers far more delicate than any down pillow he’d ever felt. He did his best to accommodate her weight, the taller alien wrapping around him from above as well as in front, her hammering heartbeat felt through his palms as he placed them on her back.

At that moment Kurtis returned, pausing a few feet away as he noted their odd entanglement. Cadell motioned with a hand gesture, one that said we need a moment.

Kurtis picked up on this, nodded, and turned to the others, who were at the bar and hadn’t noticed he and Samiha hugging each other. He paused to look back, Cadel giving him a reassuring nod, then left.

After a while, he felt Samiha move, parting from him a little but still keeping a hold on his arms. “Well, that’s it,” she whispered. “It is all out in the open. Do you… still want me in this squad?” she asked. “Even after knowing what… what happened to my sister?”

“That was out of your control,” he replied. “But us fighting side by side, that’ll be different. I couldn’t ask for a better Balokarid. I know I literally can’t because you two are the only auxiliaries here, but you know what I mean.”

“Indeed,” Samiha chuckled, the slice of humour lifting her spirit. She wiped the tip of her beak, glancing from his eyes down to his chest. “You are very warm,” she muttered. “It’s nice.”

Before he could reply, Cadell saw movement in the corner of his vision. A chuckling Hunter was making his way back to the booth, the rest of the team following behind.

“Old Kaz’ can wolf down tequila like it’s nothing,” Hunter informed them as he leaned on the table. “I had her try some after… what’s going on here?”

Cadell and Samiha exchanged glances, realising they were still holding one another. Cadell muttered and apology and retracted his arms from Smaiha’s shoulders. He felt a touch of embarrassment heat his cheeks, and he didn’t know why. He was just consoling a friend, it was nothing more than that.

It may have been his imagination, btu Samiha let him go after a little longer than she should have. She wiped her beaked with her palm once more, composed herself, then turned to face the others.

“Talking,” Samiha answered. “How did you fare? Manage to drink Kazlu under the table.”

“Not quite,” Kazlu answered, sidling up from behind Hunter. She gave her counterpart a curious once-over. “Are you well, Samiha? You look…” She trailed off.

“I am fine,” she answered, flashing Cadell a look. “More than fine now, actually. How are the shots?”

“Spicy. Did you want to try them?”

“Yes, I could use a chance to take my mind off things.” Samiha rose from her seat, and extended a feathery hand to Cadell. “Coming?”

Cadell took it, feeling the microscopic feathers brushing his skin, some of her rusty plumage spilling between his digits. She led him over to the bar along with the others celebrating their win in the simulation in earnest.

They had at last found some semblance of synergy and cohesion, Cadell having a good feeling that their success at the program was practically assured. Samiha’s retelling of the nebula was tragic, but looking beyond the pain, he finally understood her on a personal level he didn’t imagine she had let many see, maybe except for Kazlu. And that, he found, was a greater reward than even the results of the simulation.