May Oysters Grieve - episode 8

MAY THE OYSTERS GRIEVE – episode 8

STEAM WHISTLE OF A BOAT

SOUND OF WAVES AND SEAGULLS

ANNOUNCER                Set sail for Excitement
Set sail for intrigue
Adventure is on the Horizon!

ANNOUNCER                May the Oysters Grieve, episode 8

SHIP’S BELL RINGS FOUR TIMES – DING-DING DING-DING

ANNOUNCER                Death has visited the Schumacher mansion for the second time tonight – Hilda perished when the lights in the ballroom went out, right in the middle of the crowd of actors.  Where were Mac and Duke?  Heading for the second floor hallway to rescue the injured Aunt Bethany, saved by Rose’s quick medical intervention.  And what of Bertie?  Having pierced the secrets of the well-hidden turret room, he and Zorion must try to retrace their steps to rejoin everyone else.

MUSIC SWELLS

SCENE 1.          BALLROOM

SOUND                          LIGHTS CLICK ON

[NOTE                           Hilda has been stabbed.  Paul is gone.] 

TIM                               Oh thank god.  We can see again—[cuts off with a shriek]

HILDA                            [last gasp, dying]

SOUND                          BODY FALLS TO THE FLOOR

[Anyone without a specific reaction should gasp or cry out]

LULU                             Hilda! 

IDA                                Who – who could--?

KALEA                           I- I- [gulp] she looks dead. 

CARSON                        [not upset, just commenting] That’s a lot of blood, there.

LULU                             Who was next to her in the dark?

LARRY                           I just can’t take any more of this!

CECILE                          Should we check?  Make sure she’s dead?

LARRY                           [shaky]  Go right ahead, if you want to, Cecile.

CECILE                          I don’t have no medical training, Larry!

TIM                               [wobbly]  Of course, she’s—

CARSON                        Not one of you’s got any first aid?  No?  Shoot.  [sigh]  At least I’ve seen a lotta dead bodies.  Anyone gotta mirror?

IDA                                Here, newsie.  Take mine.

SOUND                          RUMMAGING IN PURSE

MUSIC

SCENE 2.          BEATRICE’S ROOM

SOUND                          DOOR OPENS A CRACK, THEN SHUTS

BEATRICE                      Blast.  Bethany is still doing what she does best – getting in my way!  [a bit uncertain]  I hope I still remember enough of the passages to make my way to safety without running into anything stupid.  I better pack a few things.

SOUND                          SMALL CASE UNLATCHED, BEING PACKED

BEATRICE                      I just need to hide, really.  Stay away from everyone else until the storm blows over.  If only my idiot sister hadn’t started to turn around.  [sigh]  Oh, well.  I’ll know better next time.

SOUND                          SLAMS CASE, LATCHES

MUSIC

SCENE 3.          SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY

SOUND                          MEN RUNNING UP THE STAIRS

ROSE                             Hang in there, Bethany.  I hear the cavalry. 

BETHANY                      [mumbles something]

AMAYA                         Here we are!

ROSE                             [calling]  Over here! 

MAC                              [arriving, a bit winded]  What happened?  Are you all right, Rose? 

ROSE                             I’m fine, Mac.  Someone stabbed Bethany.  I stitched it up, for now – it wasn’t very deep – but she’ll need a real doctor’s care soon as we can get out of here.

DUKE                             Stabbed?  Has this whole family gone plumb loco?

ROSE                             I just want to get her somewhere safe, Duke.  With other people.  Can you boys carry her?  I think this stretcher I put together should do, if you’re careful.

MAC                              Hmm?

SOUND                          WOOD, FABRIC RUSTLES

MAC                              Not bad at all.  What’s under the blankets?

ROSE                             A couple of heavy coats, buttoned and zipped with the poles running through them.

DUKE                             That’s some fancy rigging, Rose.

ROSE                             [shrug]  First aid 1-0-1.

MAC                              [firm]  You’re coming, too.  Don’t argue.  We don’t need any more surprises.

AMAYA                         Yes, Rose.  Enough surprises already.

MUSIC

SCENE 4.          BALLROOM

SOUND                          COMPACT CLICKS SHUT

CARSON                        Yeah.  Poor old Hilda ain’t breathing.  Is there a sheet, maybe, to put over her?

CECILE                          I’ll fetch something. 

SOUND                          CECILE TAKES A FEW STEPS, RUMMAGING FABRIC

LULU                             Should we move her out of the center of the room, Carson?

CARSON                        Mac’ll probably want things left as they are, Lulu. 

KALEA                           Who was near her, when the lights went out?

LARRY                           Are you thinking one of us killed her, Kal?

CARSON                        Standard procedure, pal. 

KALEA                           Anyone could be a witness.

TIM                               Even you, Larry.  Or me.

LARRY                           In the pitch blackness?

CARSON                        Someone nearby mighta heard something in the dark. 

LARRY                           Oh.

IDA                                They might – If they weren’t screaming like an infant at the time.  So, that lets you out, Larry.  Mr. Carson, I was over here, and Cecile was on that couch right near me.

MUSIC

SCENE 5.          BACK HALLWAYS

[NOTE                           Beatrice overhears Bertie & Zorion chatting from some distance.]

BERTIE                          [trying a simple explanation]  A pearl is not a stone, like other precious jewels.  Not dug from the earth.  A pearl is round and white, made by an oyster, a shellfish…  Oh, I’m not sure this explanation is going to make any of this the least bit clearer to you.

ZORION                        White?  But you say grey ball is pearl of black?

BERTIE                          Oh, yes – this particular item is unusual in size and color.  Very rare.  And being rare makes it more valuable.

ZORION                        Why is in glass box?  No one see, up in hidden place.

BERTIE                          I suppose the fellow might have liked to come by, from time to time, and gaze at his prize.  [fading away down the hallway]  Or perhaps show it to someone, when he was alive…

BEATRICE                      [close, listening to them]  And they say that eavesdroppers never hear good news!  The answer to all my prayers, and right here all the time!  A huge black pearl?  That must be worth a fortune!  I can have the life I always deserved, and to blazes with the idiotic will.  No more weekends in Waikiki, desperately trying to find a man to take me away from all this.  And no paltry thousand a year for me – this girl will be rolling in money!

SOUND                          SNEAKING ALONG

BEATRICE                      Once I get my hands on that pearl, I can grab my bag and be ready to clear out the minute the storm moves on.  [laughs triumphantly]  How wonderful!  To never see this horrible pile of stones again!

MUSIC

SCENE 6.          THE VAULT, DEEP IN THE SECRET PASSAGES

SOUND                          COMBINATION ENDS, WHEELS SPINS, HEAVY DOOR OPENS

GRAMPS                       This should keep me going for a while.  I just need to make sure and be back on the estate before I forfeit, but until then…

SOUND                          BUNDLES OF MONEY PULLED OFF SHELF AND DUMPED IN BAG

GRAMPS                       [chuckles]  No one ever questioned the economies we had to make, due to the “big bad will,” so I’ve been able to sock away thousands of dollars as my own little stockpile.  After all, I was the last of my generation, and should have been in charge of the finances!

SOUND                          HE STEPS OUT AND SHUTS THE VAULT

GRAMPS                       Now, assuming the tunnel to the stables remains intact, I shall be able to make my departure. 

MUSIC

SCENE 7.          BALLROOM

SOUND                          DOOR OPENS

LARRY                           [shrieks]

IDA                                [eyeroll]  Oh, Larry.

ROSE                             [coming in]  Just us!

CECILE                          Are we glad to see you!

MAC                              Amaya, hold the door open so we can get the stretcher through.

AMAYA                         Immediately.

SOUND                          MOVEMENT, THE MEN WALK IN WITH THE STRETCHER

CARSON                        Need a hand, Mac?

MAC                              We’ve got it, Carson, thanks. 

DUKE                             Over yonder.

SOUND                          LAYING THE STRETCHER ON A COUCH

ROSE                             I want to take a look, make sure the stitches are holding.

CARSON                        [undertone]  Mac, you’ll want to see this.  Hilda.

MAC                              [quiet] Dead?

CARSON                        Mm.

DUKE                             [loud]  Say, where’s Gramps got to?

LULU                             [realizing] Oh, no!

MUSIC

SCENE 8.          STAIRS TO THE TURRET

SOUND                          BEATRICE WALKING SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY

BEATRICE                      How gentlemanly of them to leave a cord for me to follow.  I may wind it up after I leave, just to throw a monkey wrench into their plans and slow them down while I hightail it with the pearl.  [daydreaming]  No more waiting for my life to begin, staring at the same few faces at dinner every day!  I can have a life, children, [with feeling] LOVE!!!! 

SOUND                          TURNS THE KNOB

BEATRICE                      [slight laugh] And I’ll still get the thousand a year as a bonus.  Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

SOUND                          DOOR OPENS, THUMP ON WOOD

BEATRICE                      Ow.  Stairs?

MUSIC

SCENE 9.          BALLROOM

SOUND                          MAC’S SLOW FOOTSTEPS

CARSON                        We didn’t move her.  I didn’t even touch her, just held up a mirror to see if she was breathing.

MAC                              She’s definitely gone. 

DUKE                             Lookee there!  Some blood-drops leading away toward the wall.

LULU                             Gramps must have stabbed her.

DUKE                             Whyzzat, Lulu?

LULU                             It just makes sense. 

KALEA                           He was right next to her when lights go out and gone when we could see again. 

DUKE                             [annoyed]  And we carted him in here.  Brought that snake in and set him right down next to her like good little benedict arnolds.

MAC                              No time for regrets.  We need to make sure everyone is safe, then we need to find Bertie.

IDA                                Waitaminute there, handsome.  He was in the middle of the room.

DUKE                             [confused]  Bertie?

IDA                                No, no, the old fellow.  He was right in the middle of the room – how could he possibly have turned out the lights?

MAC                              On the one hand, I can’t help but think that a house with so many secret doors might have a few other tricks, like hidden light switches.  On the other…

DUKE                             Yeah?

MAC                              There’s always a chance the storm put the lights out for a moment, or someone else turned them off, and he just took advantage of the dark.

CECILE                          Oh good.  He thinks fast.  Just what ya want in a killer.

MUSIC

FAKE COMMERCIAL

ANNOUNCER                We've all had one of those trips: driving carelessly through luscious countryside, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, far away from the madding crowd... and run out of gas.

SOUND                          MUSIC TURNS DARK

ANNOUNCER                And what do you do if there's no help to be found for miles in any direction?  When the last sign of civilization you passed was hours ago, and was a row of tilting outhouses, all by their lonesome?

SOUND                          MUSIC BRIGHTENS

ANNOUNCER                If you planned ahead, you might have a full gas can, and wouldn’t spend more than a wink of inconvenience.  Farwest Aid Society for Travelers F-A-S-T  FAST! [fast effect]  Is the best friend a traveler in the Pacific has.  FAST [fast effect] won't buy you gas, but it is the backup plan for everything else.  We’re there for you when your tank runs dry.

SCENE 10.        BALLROOM

SOUND                          CARSON TAKING PHOTOS OF THE BODY, CHANGING BULBS, ETC.

MAC                              I think we can be sure now that Gramps – or the man pretending to be Gramps – was the one who killed Hilda.

LULU                             Pretending to be Gramps?  I may have been away for a while, but I recognize my own grandfather.

MAC                              Just before we brought him here, Duke and I found him wrestling another man who looked identical – likely one of his long missing brothers.  One man got away, and the other accepted our help, claiming to be Gramps.

DUKE                             So, what you’re saying, Mac, is that Gramps was the one who vamoosed through the secret door and the other one—

MAC                              The one he called “Paul”, yes.  I think the one we brought here WAS Paul and we were fool enough to fall for it.

DUKE                             I jest figgered he was a bit off his stride due to having been nearly kilt, right before our eyes.

MAC                              I fell for it, too, Duke.

KALEA                           Explains why he didn’t realize Lulu was one of his grandkids.  We just thought he was being a stubborn old coot.

LULU                             [quiet]  The real Gramps wouldn’t be much different.

MAC                              Let’s take stock of who we know is in the building.  We have Lulu, Tim, and Bethany of the Schumacher family – whom I believe to be in the most danger. 

DUKE                             And there’s you, me, and Rose, of the B-9 Detective Agency.  If we could jest get Bertie back, we’d be right as rain.

LULU                             We’re missing Marjorie – but Ida, Larry, Cecile and Amaya are here.  The rest of the crew are safe – I hope – in the converted barn.

KALEA                           Last but not least, me and the photographer here.

CARSON                        [somewhat muffled]  Present.

KALEA                           Quite a crowd.

MAC                              Who else is missing?

ROSE                             [realizing]  Zorion!

AMAYA                         [annoyed]  Him.

DUKE                             I plumb forgot about that feller.  But I don’t doubt he can look after his own darn self.

LULU                             Gramps and Paul are still out there, and Aunt Beatrice.

MAC                              So, let’s assume Paul is the murderer of Hilda and Gideon.

TIM                               Don’t forget about Tony. 

ROSE                             Good old Antoine.

TIM                               [quiet but certain]  Beatrice has been hiding Tony.

MUSIC

SCENE 11.        STAIRS LEAVING TURRET ROOM

BEATRICE                      [Whimper]  My poor hand!  Stupid booby trap.  Who expected it to suddenly flare up and burn me like that?  [sniffles a bit, in pain]  I’ll get to the kitchen and put some butter on it, and it’ll be fine.  Besides, I got this.

SOUND                          SPARKLY MUSIC STING INDICATING “PEARL”

BEATRICE                      So lovely.  I would keep it, but I want my perfect life more than I want any single jewel.  …  [ecstatic gasp]  And romance.  I’ve waited so long for romance!

SOUND                          PUTS PEARL BACK IN POCKET

BEATRICE                      Why do I still smell the smoke out here?  It just flared up and dissipated, like some kind of magic trick.  Hmm.  I suppose the air doesn’t move much in these passages.  [happy sigh]  Now to get out of here.

MUSIC

SCENE 12.        BALLROOM

MAC                              Beatrice?  Harboring Tony?

TIM                               I’m sure someone was, and she called me “Tony” earlier tonight, before she realized it was me.  So she must at least know he’s in the house.

MAC                              Is it likely she’d hide him, do you think?

TIM                               What do you mean? 

MAC                              It sounds like she resented you all through your childhood and never had any sort of maternal feelings.  Why, then, would she cover for him?

DUKE                             Hey, maybe she was hoping he’d do some more killing.  Clear out some of the other potential heirs.

LULU                             [considering it]  That’s a horrible thought.

ROSE                             Besides, Tony’s on the loose again.  So it doesn’t matter much where he was hiding.

MAC                              I’m leaning toward Duke’s idea and thinking maybe Bethany’s assailant was someone very close to her.

TIM and LULU               [horrified]  Aunt Beatrice?

MUSIC

SCENE 13.        OUTSIDE

SOUND                          RAIN, WIND

SOUND                          RATTLING A WINDOW - LOCKED

AKEMAI                         [making a decision]  Front door, it is.  I can get in there, for sure, but wasn’t gonna go all way around.  And here I got to.  She sounded so worried.

SOUND                          WET FOOTSTEPS GO OFF AROUND HOUSE.

MUSIC

SCENE 14.        SECRET HALL

ZORION                        [curious]  You no fear ghost, Bertie?

BERTIE                          I’m moderately experienced with the supernatural.  One can hardly swing a cat in parts of England without running into some old tale of shades that walk the night.

ZORION                        Why swing cat?  Cat send ghost away?

BERTIE                          No, no.  I- I can’t even try to explain that. 

ZORION                        [sigh]  Not ghost bother me.  Is woman.

BERTIE                          Amaya, is it? 

ZORION                        Quiet!  Door opens.

BERTIE                          Where?

ZORION                        Behind.  I go see.

SOUND                          A COUPLE OF ZORION’S QUIET FOOTSTEPS, THEN NOTHING

BERTIE                          [stage whisper]  No, Zorion!  [listens, hears nothing, speaking to self quietly]  Well, doesn’t that just take the biscuit?  Alone again, eh wot?  I daresay I should wait…

SOUND                          DISTANT SCREAM – MARJORIE

BERTIE                          On the other hand, Zorion is far better suited to finding me, again, than the reverse.  Or his way out.  Someone needs help.

SOUND                          HE STARTS MOVING QUICKLY TOWARD THE SCREAM

MUSIC

SCENE 15.        BALLROOM

CARSON                        Beatrice?  You don’t think Tony mighta been the one to do it?

ROSE                             He admitted that he killed Joanette, back at Rampart Pictures.

MAC                              [considering]  That was different.  It had the feeling of something un-premeditated.  Perhaps even accidental.  It’s a very different person who can just knife someone in the back, especially someone so close to them.

DUKE                             Oh, boy, Mac!  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

MAC                              What’s that?

DUKE                             Gramps and that Paul feller?  We’re pretty darn sure Paul stabbed Hilda, maybe he took a knife to Aunt Bethany, too?

LULU                             Don’t forget Gideon!

MAC                              Rose, you told me you’re pretty sure you heard Bethany cry out when she was stabbed?

ROSE                             She sounded fine just before that, so, yes.  It didn’t take us long to get to her, either.

AMAYA                         Smaller than here to door.

MAC                              Long enough for someone to step back into the bedroom that’s right there?

CARSON                        [muttered]  Looks bad for Beatrice.

TIM                               And not Paul, because…?

MAC                              I’m pretty sure that all happened about the same time Duke and I kicked in the dining room door and found Gramps and his brother locked in a death struggle.  If it was before that, and Paul stabbed Bethany, he’d’ve had blood on him.  If it was after that – he was with us for a good 10 minutes, between getting them broken up, and bringing him in here.

CARSON                        But you said Gramps escaped?

MAC                              Since we’re pretty sure Paul stabbed Hilda and Gideon.  The other one must be Gramps.  And there’s no reason to think Gramps would kill anyone – at least, not the servants.

SOUND                          DOOR SLAMS OPEN

[reactions from everyone]

SOUND                          TONY STAGGERS IN, CARRYING MARJORIE

MARJORIE                    [slight groan]

TONY                            You’ve got to save Marjorie!  Gramps just stabbed her!

MUSIC TO CLOSING

ANNOUNCER                Confusion reigns in the wee hours of the morning in the dark passages of the doom-filled Schumacher mansion!  Bertie and Zorion have split up again!  A stranger is about to find his way in, while Beatrice is trying to make her way out!  And while Tim and Tony are now in one place, at least for the moment, is it Gramps or Paul on a knife-wielding rampage, and who will be the next victim? 

END