Midnight Bounties 4 - Chapter 27

We stood in the back yard in heavy silence around Snowdog’s grave. Well, as silent as a city under siege could be. The sun was casting long shadows across the trees and plants of our garden. It was never as lush and plentiful as it was that day. Opius had done wonders with anything that could bloom and grow, bushes, and different vines that now spread their long green fingers over the bathhouse and even the side of the club.

“I know I’m supposed to give a eulogy of sorts,” I said, looking my family members over. Everyone but Tyfus, Pearl, Derek and Fusha were there. I hadn’t yet had a chance to talk to the others about their whereabouts. Putting Snowdog into the ground as soon as possible was much more important. Seeing his mutilated, lifeless body out there in the open was driving me mad.

“Snowdog was one of the Three of Steel but he was also much more than that. He was the main reason I survived what should have definitely killed me. They said he betrayed the King and some say he was a coward for leaving the city…” I fiddled with my thumbs, “Fuck those who say that. He was a better man than any of them. He even tolerated Tyfus for some reason. Gave that treacherous little bastard a chance when I couldn’t. Who was Tyfus to him? Nobody. And yet the shiteating gnome got to—”

“Frank,” Fey jumped in. I cleared my throat.

“Right. Sorry.”

Two huge, burning rocks flew through the sky and then landed with a crushing boom somewhere in the Estates shaking the city.

“You’ll be avenged, friend. I’ll have Castelian in pieces for this. I swear this on my life.” I picked up a handful of wet soil and tossed it on the coffin I’d hammered together. The others did the same, losing no words to a man they barely even knew but had saved their lives in more ways than one.

“Alright, a drink is in order.”

“Agreed,” Rot said. “Maybe more than one with this being a funeral and all, aye?”

“Aye.”

We walked back into the club where we took a seat around a table. Fey brought us our drinks and Garfor cobbled together some quick snacks and laid them out before us.

“I’m sorry for yer friend, boss. He put up a good fight, didn’t he, lads?” Drogna said, raising a mug.

“He almost got the bastard, too,” Matis said nodding. “Was a sight to behold.”

“He died nonetheless,” Hezzak said weakly. The Hobgoblin was barely able to sit in his chair.

“What ye gone do, eh?” Rot added.

“To Snowdog,” I said and we all had a sip in silence.

“Did he talk to any of you?” I asked.

“Not really,” Fey answered. “He didn’t visit the place. He went straight to Castelian. They agreed to fight outside the city walls which was probably best since they would have taken down half the place with them. People still talk about their clash.”

I sloshed the whiskey around the glass thinking about it all.

“He didn’t have to kill him,” I muttered. “Let alone chain him to the statue. Why didn’t Shieldmother say anything? That heartless bitch.”

“Frank,” Fey began. “There’s something you need to know.”

I leaned back into my seat and braced for even more bad news. I didn’t like the sound of her words at all. She looked to Ragul for some reason and the vampire nodded.

“Tyfus was here.”

“He was? Where is he now, that cowardly piece of shit!”

Silence met me, and I stopped myself from saying anything else. There was a heaviness in the air that promised something worse to come.

“After Snowdog was killed, Castelian had set his eye on us. Luckily Nergat was here to stop him though the ceasefire was tenuous. Castelian was just standing in front of the club day and night like a madman despite Nergat’s warnings. I can’t say I wasn’t absolutely terrified. We didn’t sleep for two nights.”

“He just stood there, Frank. Staring at the club,” Matis said, shaking his head.

“On the third day, Tyfus rode into town,” Fey continued.

“No,” I muttered.

“He fought Castelian and Tarnia, Frank. Took them on by himself.”

“No,” I uttered, feeling my gut tighten and body trembling. That stupid little asshole. After everything he did, he turned around and tried to redeem himself in the worst possible way. My hand stiffened around the whiskey glass and it shattered in my palm.

“He gave them a good fight,” Fey said.

“Burned Tarnia’s hair off, he did,” Rot added.

“Why didn’t you help him?” I snapped.

“Master Frank,” Ragul began calmly. “Before we realized what was happening, the fight was over and Tyfus was on the ground. He wasn’t dead, I know that much. Castelian swung him over his shoulder and told us to call you or he’d be back to finish the rest of us. A month has passed since then.”

“A month? How? I was only—so he’s alive?”

It came as no surprise that time worked differently in Hell. What seemed like a day down there, must have been weeks in the overworld.

“We don’t know, sir. The Quinta were at our door. I assume Castelian was occupied with more pressing concerns.”

“So Tyfus might still be somewhere in the city?”

Ragul nodded.

“I need to find him,” I said, getting up but Fey’s hand landed on my shoulder.

“Please, just one evening. You’ve just returned.”

“Tyfus is out there in some dungeon, he’s hurt, he’s—”

“One evening, Frank. It won’t change anything.”

I took her hand in mine and looked to the door. I had given up on him. I even began to hate the gnome with a passion reserved only for those you once truly cared for, but now? Realizing what he had done to try and redeem himself, I was filled with gut-wrenching guilt. No, it couldn’t wait. Not a second longer.

“I’m sorry,” I said and Fey frowned. “I know Tyfus isn’t the most popular member of our family but he’s still family. I would do the same thing for any one of you.”

“That’s the boss,” Drogna said raising her mug again. “That’s how ye do it.”

“Gods damn you, Frank,” Fey said and her voice started shaking.

“They already have, Fey. Trust me.”

“You owe us an explanation at least. Tell us what happened down there! Did you really kill our gods? How did you get back?”

I sighed, my feet itching to get going.

“Master Frank, with all due respect, I think I can speak for all of us when I say that you owe us that much. A few minutes won’t change Tyfus’ fate. We have wondered about your health for more than two months now.”

“For once I agree with Ragul,” Fey said.

I took a deep breath and then sat back down at the table.

“I’ll need a drink.”

Before my butt adjusted to the chair, Fey had brought me a full glass of whiskey and sat down next to me.

“Alright, I’ll talk. But I’m going to make this short. You need to know that all I thought of down there was this moment right here. Us sitting together again but we’re not together until I find Tyfus.”

“I understand,” Fey said. I looked around the club for a moment.

“And where’s Fusha and Derek anyway?”

“Fusha fight in war,” Garfor said proudly. “Nergat make her sergeant in Green Tide.”

“He what?”

“It was her decision, boss,” Drogna chimed in.

“She’s lost her halavee,” Agata said, braiding Rivian’s dark blue hair.

“And Derek?”

“He—” Matis began, weighing his words. “Joined the war in the reserve army. He’s at the wall right now.”

I slapped my forehead.

“Fucking Derek. He’ll get himself killed.”

“I don’t know, sir. He’s been at it for weeks and he seems to be doing rather well.”

“He is? The gods are watching over that idiot more than any of us.”

“Aye,” Rot said chuckling. “Wait, aren’t te gods dead?”

“Yeah, that. Alright, as long as they’re all well, I don’t care what they’re doing. Now, let’s get to the story,” I took a sip of whiskey, grinning at the idea of Fusha commanding the orcs and Derek…doing well.

“Now before I tell you about Hell, I need to tell you about the Peacespeaker’s Abbey—” The door slammed open, and Pearl came running like a storm.

“Do I have to hear it from those morons in my club that you’ve returned!” she yelled, coming at me with the fure of a tempest.

I stood, grinning. Pearl hugged me tightly for what felt like a good minute, then pushed me away.

“Fuck you!”

“Nice to see you too.”

“I’ve grown grey hairs, Frank! Because of you! See this?” she said, pulling on a greyish strand at the side of her head.

“Suits you, though.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Her two dwarven bodyguards walked in after her shyly. They bowed as I noticed them.

“Grab a chair, I was just telling them all what happened.”

“Fey, you bitch! Why didn’t you call me?”

“Sorry, love,” Fey said, smiling.

Pearl took a seat across from me and folded her arms as her bodyguards sat down at the other table. Fey quickly served them all and I began my story. It took me a while as I told them of Snowdog and his people, my travel to the Redmaw, Tyfus’ betrayal, and all the mayhem I had witnessed in Hell. They all listened carefully, interrupting only to curse the gods, the demons, or Tyfus. Spif inquired about the other satyr a bit too much, asking for detailed physical descriptions. Then he also wanted to know more about the orgies in Snowdog’s valley, but I wasn’t indulging him too much.

“I need new material for my songs!” he yelped. “You know. To write a detailed song about you, Frank.”

“There’s two wars going on around you, satyr. I think you have plenty of things to write songs about.”

“That’s all violence. I need happy things,” he said disappointed.

I opened my mouth to ask who was happy nowadays but remembering Butlee, a kind of sadness washed over me.

I finished my story leaving out the details about the Deeproot, and instead told them we were in a sort of arena for the gods to entertain themselves, but again left out the part about the system. I figured it would leave too many questions open to answer which would only lead to the basement of Morgefah’s chamber and the Faydar I had left there. It was only for me and the demon generals to know and once I was gone, so would the truth of it.

“So…the gods weren’t really gods? They were some kind of otherworldly creatures?” Matis tried to summarize.

“Kind of. They had great powers, don’t get me wrong. But in the end, they were mortal, just like all of us. Well…except for the demons. Kind of.”

“Madness,” Hezzak muttered through half-openes eyelids.

“So, there are no other gods? They’re all just…what some kind of force of nature?” Fey asked and I was somewhat stunned by the question.

“Well, that’s one way to put it. A force of nature, yeah. Listen, it doesn’t mean praying to certain gods doesn’t work, it just means that…” I wasn’t even sure how to explain it without mentioning the souls. “That they don’t really understand us. They’re not…Alive.”

“But they heed prayers?”

“Yes,” she asked.

“Bottom line then,” Pearl began. “They exist but we can’t really talk to them or see them or anything?”

“Right.”

“So basically nothing changed when you killed those two? Nothing changes for any of us up here?”

“Well, I guess not.”

“Why the fuck did you even go then?” Pearl snapped.

“I just told—you know what. I’m not entirely clear on all of it either. It’s been a fucked up couple of days, Pearl. That’s the story, make of it what you will.”

“Quite the story, boss,” Wortimus said. “Did anyone mention the Rev?”

“No, not really.”

The fautar frowned with disappointment.

“The Rev is as real as anything else, fautar. That’s all I can say.”

“But what about the duergar? You said—”

“My dear friends and family,” I said getting up. “We’ll have all the time in the world to talk this out. I know you’ve plenty of questions. Shit, so do I, trust me. But right now? I need to find Tyfus.”

“I’m coming with you,” Fey said, shooting up.

I pushed her down again.

“Nobody’s coming with me. You all know what Castelian is capable of. No offense, but he’ll just kill you lot.”

“Hear, hear,” Korvan said, snapping out of his nap.

“Now, until I’m back, you people need to prop this place up. Get that table off the podium and put the poles back. As of now, the Midnight Bounties is open for business again.”

“What?” Fey snapped.

“Excellent, Master Frank,” Ragul nodded.

“Work? Now? In the middle of a war?”

“Especially now, Fey. Soldiers need a break and they’re ready to pay double to do so. We have a whole square of potential guests—”

“Frank, you can’t be serious!”

“Of course I’m serious, Fey. Get busy, it’ll take your mind off this whole war thing,” I said with a wink.

“There’s thousands out there! If we open now, we’ll be overrun! Why are you doing this to us?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you some help. Hold on.”

I took a few steps away from the table then used my eyepatch to open a portal to Hell. The tear in reality screamed through the club as a fiery portal opened.

“What the hell are you doing?” Fey yelled.

“Just fulfilling a promise I made. I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t follow me,” I said, stepping through the portal. A few minutes later, I returned. Nothing had changed, no big time skip happened just as I expected. As long as the portal was open, both Hell and the overworld were in sync.

“Alright fellas, come on in,” I said, watching my family’s reaction with a big fat grin on my face. Butlee came through the portal first, then another of his kind, and finally three more.

Rot jumped off his chair and both landed on the floor.

“What in the Redmaw’s fiery cunt is that? Those are ungodly machines! Frank!”

“Calm down,” I said, laughing. “Butlee, this is your new home.” The tinman looked up at me with his big round head and a red light flashed, turning on and off several times before it turned green again.

“Cash deleted. Sensitive memory reset. Critical memory intact,” he said in a kind of flat, metallic tone.

“Oh, hello there!” he suddenly chimed in his usual voice. “I’m Butler Unit 332, but you can call me Butlee! I’m so happy to be here! How can I serve you!”

“Oh, hello there!” the butler unit next to him said. “I’m Butler Unit 333, but you can call me Butlee! I’m just raging to be here, and I can’t wait to serve.”

It was curious to see the slight differences in character. The next two introduced themselves in a similar fashion, but the last one seemed somewhat off.

“Hi,” it said. “I’m Butler Unit 336. I’m here…Ugh…To serve.”

“Sounds like Pearl back in the day, this one, don’t it?” I said laughing.

“What is that, Frank?” Pearl said, not enjoying the joke.

“These are our new helpers,” I said. “Now, only the first one gets to be Butlee. The others need fresh names. That’s your job.”

“Master Frank,” Ragul began with a more than skeptical look on his face. “Are you sure you want to employ these…things?”

“They obey every command, Ragul. They work for free, and they’re happy to do so.”

“I’m so happy!” Butlee chirped.

“I think you’ll like them,” I winked at the drow who offered no reaction.

“Alright then. You better get started,” I said, heading to the door. Wolf was still outside.

“You forgot about me!” he said angrily into my mind. “I stand here alone! No food!”

“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, boy,” I said, patting him on the cheek.

I looked over the square seeing a large tent being erected. Nergat was building a new command center. I grinned.

“Hey!” I yelled catching the attention of the orcs around me. “The Midnight Bounties is open for business!”

“Fuck you, Frank!” I heard Fey yell from inside.

I saddled Wolf and breathed out looking north. Another burning projectile was tearing through the sky and landed somewhere near the docks.

“Got moonshine?” one of the orcs asked with a hopeful face.

“Of course we do, friend,” I said and his eyes lit up. He and his nearest pals stormed into the club.

“I’m coming for you, gnome,” I said, spurring Wolf on. “And I’m coming for you too, Castelian.”