Hero! The autism researcher who will stop at nothing to avoid listening to autistic people
Added 2024-05-14 10:00:03 +0000 UTC
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image © Shutterstock
An autism researcher has been hailed as a hero after declaring that there are no lengths he won’t go to in order to ignore autistic voices.
Dr. Graeme Hart, PhD, has been drowning out the objections of autistic people for the last 20 years of his academic career, an achievement that has earned him respect amongst his peers.
Dr. Hart said: “It hasn’t been easy, making sure I haven’t processed a single word an autistic person has said or written over the last two decades. They’re a persistent bunch, the difficult little fuckers.”
“They don’t seem to understand that I’m trying to help them by making sure they don’t happen in the future. Why can’t they see they’d be happier that way?”
He added: “Honestly, you ask for one tiny saliva sample and they lose their minds. I try to find out what causes them to exist in the first place and they call me sinister. I can’t win.”
Fortunately, Dr. Hart has found coping mechanisms to ensure he doesn’t have to listen to any more bitching and moaning, such as staring off into space, stuffing his ears with cotton wool and singing “lalala not listening to you!”
