Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic man who claims to enjoy putting vegetables into his mouth is simply experimenting with his identity and will eventually grow out of it, his loved ones have said.
Eddie Albington, 24, has faced ostracisation from his own community for being a rare example of a person with autism whose diet consists of foods that aren’t shaped like din...
2025-07-04 10:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostThe Daily Tism is looking for its latest team member! We are looking for a part-time social media assistant to join our fast-growing, back-chatting autism satire website to support our creative team.
- Creating new Instagram and TikTok social media assets on Canva, using our existing template and images supplied by the creative team
- Daily posting and scheduling of all new content, including previews...
2025-07-01 11:11:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman is reportedly delighted to have a proper excuse not to read your boring Substack newsletter.
Miya Wilkes, 34, used to feel compelled by politeness to read your tedious musings on the issues of the day - but now doesn’t have to bother anymore because Nazis.
“I’m so sorry, I’m boycotting Substack,” Wilkes commented,...
2025-07-01 10:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman who made the room descend into uncomfortable silence was just trying to one-up her colleague's joke, it has been rumoured.
Kelsey Dacey, 24, was reportedly enjoying a witty back-and-forth exchange with a group of colleagues when she got that buzzy, reckless feeling of her mouth opening before her brain had a chance to catch...
2025-06-27 10:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostHey terrible autistics,
A quick note to let you know that from today, we’ll be changing our £5 tier to include a third autism piece, rather than The Weekly NT!
That means you can now get even more autism for your subscription, so if you fancy an upgrade, it’s a great time - and you can take advantage of the 20% discount if you buy a whole year. We hope you enjoy the new bonus content and thank you as ever for your support!
2025-06-25 08:46:14 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman has finally had enough of your shit - but let’s face it, is unlikely to do anything about it - sources have claimed.
Avery Mann, 35, absolutely plans to give you a piece of her mind, but instead will probably insist that it’s “totally fine, honestly”, before screaming obscenities about you into a pillow.
<... 2025-06-24 10:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Headline by Andrew Hickey, Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
A cursed monkey’s paw attempting to trap would-be wishers with cruel moral lessons has reportedly curled up and died after being thwarted by an autistic man’s many caveats.
Anand Trivedi, 38 - who was warned that each wish would come with hellish consequences as a punishment for tampering with fate - correctly figure...
2025-06-20 10:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
The owners of a satirical autism news site have confessed to bugging the living shit out of your home in what the tabloid press is calling “Autergate”.
Editors of The Daily Tism, Sara Gibbs, 37, Elsa Williams, 28, and Sarah Amero, 27, admitted to the high-tech surveillance operation after a large number of readers began to question if they wer...
2025-06-17 10:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Andrew Hickey, Image Shutterstock
An autistic man “spoiling” a historical film by highlighting every inaccuracy and anachronism has called his interventions “tough but necessary”, in a statement released today.
Jack Harrington, 46, was moved to make the statement after seeing the critical acclaim and rapturous audience response to Ryan Coogler's hit fi...
2025-06-13 10:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
The television industry already has an autism show, it has been confirmed.
In a statement released today in response to autistic writers brazenly attempting to tell stories about their own lives, every single channel responded that sadly they’ve already got one.
The statement, issued in response to your poignant anti-inspirational co...
2025-06-10 10:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
We’re taking an ADHD test - and this time you can join us! Come along on Sunday 22nd June at 6pm UK time to watch a recording of a bonus episode of Autistic Women Oversharing, participate in the comments if you feel like it - or sit silently with an eyebrow raised if you don’t!
We’ll be finding out if we’re just autistic or if we should mayyyybe be having a chat with our GP - with plenty...
2025-06-08 11:11:37 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Your autistic boyfriend genuinely isn’t monitoring your menstrual cycle intentionally, it has been claimed.
Lucas Fletcher, 28, who first became aware that you were on your period when you needed him to pop to the pharmacy for some Naproxen, has since accidentally found himself harbouring an intimate knowledge of every phase, culminating in what...
2025-06-06 10:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman is unable to explain why she desperately craves validation from the worst person she knows, it has been rumoured.
Avery Mann, 25, really, really wants colleague Mac Wheatley, 34, to like her, despite him universally being considered a colossal douche by everyone he encounters.
Mann commented: “Mac and I were a...
2025-06-03 10:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman who keeps asking what’s wrong with her has reportedly forgotten the many, many things that are wrong with her, it has been rumoured.
Ellie Mulligan, 36, makes the same enquiry every time she’s too unwell to get out of bed, makes a social faux pas or accidentally punches herself in the face while brushing her teeth, despite be...
2025-05-30 10:00:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
The big light is not so big and scary now that you’ve removed the one weapon it had in its arsenal, reports have indicated.
The light, if you can even call it that now, has reportedly been gutted of its glassy innards, leaving it a hollow shell of its former self.
You said: “Try giving me a migraine now, bitch! Yeah, didn’t think...
2025-05-27 10:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman who believes she’s not enough is, in fact, rather a lot, it has been rumoured.
Siobhan Moorton, 31, who has learned to overcompensate for her perceived shortcomings, has reportedly gone so far in the other direction, she might as well punctuate each sentence with jazz hands.
Moorton told reporters: “I didn’t wan...
2025-05-23 10:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostThe story Sara can't share in public because she'll get booted out of her family! Enjoy and please let us know if you've ever heard of such a thing (and for the love of GOD don't share this story outside of this group)!
2025-05-20 11:48:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Your autism diagnosis comes with a mandatory promotion to role model that you neither want nor are you qualified to fulfil, sources have revealed.
Having spent five years on an NHS waiting list, hoping for external validation that might offer some meagre legal protections, you instead received the lifelong obligation to be an inspiration to ...
2025-05-20 10:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostA half-hour bonus documentary behind the scenes of Sara's trip to visit Elsa in Liverpoolland! Featuring the world's most hyper-specific housewarming gift, headless Brian Epstein and special guest nerd, Andrew Hickey!
2025-05-19 12:50:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Your non-autistic friend is frothing with excitement at the prospect of you meeting the one other autistic person she knows, it has been rumoured.
Becky Armitage, 33, really thinks you’d get along with Paul Shinter, 58, on account of the two of you sharing a diagnosis.
Armitage explained: “I just think you’d have a lot to talk ab...
2025-05-16 10:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostMy milkshake very decidedly did NOT bring all the boys to the yard!
Episode 3, on the blazing red flags that should have clued us in to the fact that we were autistic (yet somehow didn’t) is now live wherever you get podcasts: https://linktr.ee/thedailytism
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic couple who wrote their own wedding vows have inadvertently set the world record for the longest vows ever exchanged, sources have confirmed.
Navya Randhawa, 32, and Miya Wilkes, 34 - who reportedly wanted to make sure their vows were precise, realistic and caveated to account for every possible eventuality - have, at the time of ...
2025-05-13 10:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Making self-deprecating jokes about your own toxic behaviours is way less effort than the years of therapy it would take to actually address their root causes, experts have revealed.
A recent study revealed that simply demonstrating that you’re aware you’re a cunt, but hey - what are you going to do about it - is far quicker and easier ...
2025-05-09 10:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Terrible Autistics!
By now we hope you’ve caught up with our brand-new podcast - Autistic Women Oversharing! If not, here it is - go go go!
Our next Patreon Live will be a virtual live recording of our season 1 finale - the topic being “things we thought our autism would explain but are just us”. It’s happening on Sunday 18th May at 6pm BST.
As always, it’s open to paid subscribers at any level, so make sure you’ve signed up. You can now get a whole year with 2...
2025-05-06 11:13:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman having a “spring clean” is actually just moving piles of clutter from one location to another, it has been rumoured.
Paige Thomas, 34, really should know what to do when faced with a mess she herself made - but settles for hyperventilating, then rearranging the mess into a slightly different mess.
Thomas exp...
2025-05-06 10:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostTerrible Autistics! Our brand-new podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing, came out last week! Our first episode had us baring our souls, sharing our embarrassing sexual awakenings and generally disgracing ourselves!
New eps come out every Tuesday - you can catch up with our pilot wherever you get your podcasts - here’s a link to a few places to get you started! https://linktr.ee/thedailytism
We’ll also be the...
2025-05-04 10:53:40 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic man has been left “helpless” after the thing he needed happened to be all the way across the room, it has been reported.
Ben Espenson, 31, is reportedly parched - but to get a glass of water he’d have to pause his game, put down his Switch, stop the podcast playing on his phone, heave himself off the comfortable so...
2025-05-02 10:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman is reportedly unable to choose between letting people walk all over her, resulting in self-loathing, or being so assertive that everyone gets mad at her, resulting in self-loathing.
According to sources, Paige Thomas, 37, has tried a diplomatic middle ground on numerous occasions but that has led to her being read as “ma...
2025-04-29 10:00:23 +0000 UTC View PostHey fellow terrible autistics!
As you may have heard (from us shouting about it) our new podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing launches first thing tomorrow (Tuesday 29th April)!
Make sure you’re the first to hear it by searching and subscribing on your favourite podcast app and in the meantime, here’s a bonus clip just for Patreon backers to… we were going to say “whet your appetite” but given the context - yikes!
Enjoy and don’t forget to leave a five-star rat...
2025-04-28 12:59:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman tried, for many years, to warn you about the impending “argh” of every-fucking-thing, it has been confirmed.
Navya Randhawa, 38, reportedly saw the writing on the wall back in 2015 and attempted to alert everyone she encountered that fascism was on the rise, we’re unprepared for potential pandemics and the planet is d...
2025-04-25 10:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post