Why You FEAR Success (Part 9)

Part 1: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-1-99709103

Part 2: https://www.patreon.com/posts/99785606

Part 3: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-3-99852173

Part 4: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-4-99917946

Part 5: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-5-99982938

Part 6: https://www.patreon.com/posts/100221673?pr=true

Part 7: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-7-100302621

Part 8: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-8-100353921

We will all have our own definition of what success looks like with money, career, health life and relationships.

But generally speaking, success can be defined as:

Success = Achieving significantly MORE than what you’ve done until this point today.

Success = You significantly outperforming your current self.

1. "I Don’t Want To Become Arrogant”

Many people believe that success will turn someone into a snobby and heartless type of individual.

When you have a clear understanding of your values, principles, and the core aspects of who you are—those parts of yourself will remain the same no matter what changes happen with you, including your level of success.

You can stay firmly grounded in your principles regardless of external changes.

Arrogance and cockiness are subjective terms. What one person sees as arrogance or cockiness in someone, another might view as low confidence and not believing in yourself.

Perceptions of someone's confidence levels can vary widely from one person to another.

When you worry about being called arrogant or cocky, or if you're concerned about coming off that way, you're guessing what others might think of you and then acting defensively against those imagined opinions.

You're holding yourself back from actions or behaviours that haven't even happened and trying to avoid a negative label that hasn't been applied.

This is all based on your projection of potential thoughts from others, not on anything that's actually happened.

Even if they do think that, so what?

Unless you are running a political campaign, you cannot control the thoughts of other people.

Even if you did know what they're thinking, what you gonna do about it? Have you ever successfully changed another person's thoughts?

You can influence another person's thoughts. That's not the same as changing them.

The only way someone's thoughts can change is by their personal choice. They have to choose to change their thoughts.

Jesus tried to save everybody and even he didn't do it.

So who are you? What are you going to do? Your job is not to change another person's thoughts.

When you worry about becoming arrogant as a result of success, you're actually reflecting your own fears and insecurities, not the opinions of others.

You're projecting these fears onto others, using them as a mirror or an excuse for your self-doubt.

2. What If My Weaknesses And Flaws Get Exposed One Day?

Everyone has flaws and weaknesses.

• Some peoples flaws and weaknesses are more obvious to see than others.
• Some people are more open about their flaws and weaknesses
• Some peoples weaknesses are more exploitable than others

Some people are good at being self aware and can put themselves in a position where their flaws and weaknesses don’t matter as much.

Or some people position themselves in a way where they use their weaknesses to their advantage in life.

When you become more successful, this usually comes with more visibility.

You're more known, you're more seen. People notice you more when you create more success. Success just draws attention.

And because you have flaws and weaknesses, then your flaws and weaknesses may become more viewable and visible to other people.

More success means more scrutiny. And whatever flaws or weaknesses you have, they probably will be more noticeable by more people simply because there is more attention on you because of your success.

Your possible flaws and weaknesses can be held under a microscope.

Your flaws and weaknesses will be:

• exposed
• Noted
• Laughed at
• Talked about
• Thrown in your face
• Maybe even used against you. 

All of these things will happen the more successful you become.

When everyone’s tries to find and expose your flaws and weaknesses, but you still keep THRIVING? This what makes you a superstar.

Very few people can do this because it requires A LOT of mental toughness.

3. “But I Might Loose Touch With Reality”

It all comes down to your self-confidence and your self-perception.

Many people see themselves as average or even below average, fitting in as just,

‘one of the guys’ or ‘one of the girls’.

But when you achieve great success, you break away from that average status. 

You're not just one of the crowd anymore, you stand out above the rest.

This shift can challenge how you see yourself and how others perceive you.

Many people struggle to sustain their success, or they consciously decide not to, because it often means distancing themselves from their friends.

The fear of standing out and no longer blending in with the group holds many back.

Instead of showcasing their full potential, they choose to limit themselves, preferring the familiarity of their comfort zone.

This resistance to break away from the group and embrace their capabilities keeps them settled in being average, even when they're capable of much more.

As a black person, what I’ve realised over the years is that there are many black people who believe that the less successful you are, (or the more average you are) the more REAL you are.

And as you become more successful, you lose a bit of your ‘realness’ and your connection to where you come from because you are so different from the people who are still there.

Often, some of them who have this mentality have attempted to guilt trip me about,

‘never forgetting where I come from’

I come from a low class (poor) background. The more success I've created, the further I move away from the people who are still in that environment or still have the mindset of that environment.

My 'authenticity' has not gone away at all.  I'm not there anymore, my mindset has changed drastically from where I come from, I'm still my authentic self.

My authentic self is about who I am as a person.

Who I am as a person is a person who is always growing, developing, evolving and getting better.

Even when I was in that lower class (poor) space, I was a person who was always interested in growing, evolving and getting better, which meant it was only natural that I moved about in that space and moved into a better space.

My authenticity hasn't changed at all. Even though I'm in a different neighbourhood, different places, hanging around different people, have different luxuries, access to things, different resources etc…

Being authentic means being true to yourself and your principles, not true to what other people think you are or what you should be.

Authenticity is not about where you're from or your hood or your neighbourhood or your family or any of those things.

Authenticity is you being true to yourself and how you see the person in the mirror, not what other people think.

- Till next time