Why You FEAR Success (Part 2)

Part 1: https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-you-fear-1-99709103

We will all have our own definition of what success looks like with money, career, health life and relationships. 

But generally speaking, success can be defined as:

Success = Achieving significantly MORE than what you’ve done until this point today.

Success = You significantly outperforming your current self.

1. Change

With significant actions, comes significant changes.

The main reason why people fear certain things is because of the change that comes with being on the other side of that action.

And those new changes come with their own new set of challenges.

In life there is never a ‘perfect’ scenario. There is a tradeoff you are exchanging in order to get the things you desire.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/podcast-life-is-70873845

Introducing change and a new reality means saying bye to what you are use to and saying hello to what you’re not use to doing.

It’s easier to stay where you are than it is to change (and this is why many people people never change)

Even if the change will bring new positives in their life, ost people would rather stay where they are instead of doing the things that will lead to the things they claim they want.

And this is exactly where people end up sabotaging themselves.

2. Responsibility

Most people claim they want responsibility but they really don’t.

Responsibility comes with people who are depending and expecting things from you and many people really can’t handle all of that pressure.

Most people really and truly want as little responsibility as possible and the tradeoff for having no responsibilities means they have no power or influence.

Power and influence is a package deal, this is what comes when you have responsibility, ownership and expectations.

Success allows you to have more influence and control over the circumstances of your life and even often the circumstances and responsibilities of OTHER people.

E.g. 

• Being the head of your household
• Being the captain of your team
• Being the breadwinner of the relationship
• Being the boss of your working environment

As you achieve more success, you have more influence, control and power with the people in these places that YOU are responsible for just by the fact that you’ve achieved more success. 

There is usually no discussions about this, it’s something that just happens naturally.

When you are the main person, everyone will switch off, get behind you and expect you lead the way just because you have the success.

And most people do not want the responsibility and the expectations that naturally come with leadership.

When you are a successful person, a lot of responsibility, expectations and dependency will be on your shoulders by other people.

Most people want to be lead. They do not want to be the one leading (even though they claim to)

And the resistance to responsibly can cause you to not deep down want to succeed like you say you want because of the amount of expectations and dependency people will have on you.

With more success, comes responsibility, expectations and dependency.

Be ready for this.

There are no perfect scenarios in life, only tradeoffs.

3. Imposter syndrome

This is the feeling that you’re not as good as the success you are creating. You feel as if 'people like you' don’t even deserve it.

“I am doing a lot better than I thought I could do. Why me????”

https://www.patreon.com/posts/article-how-to-56503155

https://www.patreon.com/posts/i-dont-feel-like-72417785

This is when you have outperformed yourself beyond what you expected of yourself and you’re in disbelief.

This mentality stops people from doing things that could take them to a much higher level because they don’t see themselves as that type of person who deserves those bigger and better things.

Their self image does not reflect them to be worthy enough to be at a level which is 50x better than where they currently are.

This is why sometimes we see people and we know they have it in them to be and do better but the way they view themselves leads them to habits, beliefs and behaviours that keep them at those lower levels and until they change their self image, they will never change their actions.

No-one can behave in way for a consistent amount of time which is out of line with their self image.

You can have the skill, talent, looks and ability to achieve something but if you don’t have the self image to match those skills and abilities, you will still hold yourself back.

And people will be asking you:

“Why are you only doing X when I know you have the ability to be doing Y”

“Why are you only settling for X when you know you can be doing Z”

People do things that are consistent with their self image, not what's consistent with their skills, talents, potential, looks or their abilities.

You have to change your self image FIRST, before you can change your behaviours.

- Till next time