(ARTICLE) Signs You’re Not Ready For A Relationship

Here are 6 signs that you’re just not quite ready for love (yet)…

1. This is the first time you’ve been single IN A LONG TIME.

Some people tend to jump from relationship to relationship so quickly that they forget what it’s even like to be single.

Yes, relationships are great. But, you cannot determine what kind of relationship or partner is good for you if you don’t take time to learn who you really are outside of this relationship.

Your identity is not a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or husband, or wife. Your identity is who you are as an individual human being.

Those who are serial monogamists often times lose sight of this very identity, which leads them to bounce from relationship to relationship hoping to finally find the one who “fills the gap.”

If you were in a relationship for years, or have had a variety of shorter term relationships, and are out there dating again — it’s a good time to pause, and be brutally honest with yourself about why you are looking for another partner.

You might, if you’re truthful, realise that you’re simply trying to replace the feeling you had in your last relationship rather than face the pain, do the work, and stay single until you find the right person for you.

2: Your career is currently your number 1 priority.

I am all for creating massive success in life.

That being said, I understand the immense dedication it takes to climb the ladder, make an impact, run a business, or manage a team of people.

And, often, this leaves very little time to find and build a relationship with someone.

Can you manage both a relationship and a thriving career? Absolutely

However, if you’re fully dedicated to a phase in your life where your career is undoubtedly your number 1 priority, then you really need to ask if this is the right time to intertwine another adult human being into your day-to-day.

Relationships are a commitment

Relationships take work, time, effort, and consideration of someone else’s schedule and feelings. If you’re not at a point in your life to accept that — that’s okay.

What’s not okay is pretending that you have the space to juggle at all, and hurting someone else (or yourself) in the process.

3: All of your other relationships seem strained.

Are you noticing conflicts in places they don’t usually arise? Perhaps your friends, or family? Maybe you’re going through a transitional phase, are stressed, overwhelmed, or facing burnout.

If you already feel the relationships around you tensing up, it’s certainly not the time to bring another one into the mix.

4: You don’t really know what you NEED.

Maybe you know what you want, but what about your needs?

If you don’t know what the need is underneath your want, then you might find yourself wasting a lot of time looking for the wrong things in people.

5: You’re dating because of external pressure.

“You’re still single? Are you okay?”

“Oh, when are you getting married?”

“I have found THE BEST person for you to meet”

Whether intentional or not, sometimes the people around you make can make you feel pressured to start dating, or get into a relationship.

Or, what’s worse, they’ll make you feel inadequate for still being single.

The truth is that staying single takes more strength than settling for the wrong person just for the sake of being in a relationship.

Date when you’re ready, not when you feel overwhelmed by peoples’ questions. This is your life, not theirs.

Live the life you want to life, not the one you think you should.

6: You’re unhappy with your single life.

My personal belief is this: Creating a life you love when you’re single will empower you to maintain positive boundaries and standards while you’re dating or in a relationship.

What I mean is: If you love your life, you’ll stop accepting people into it who will mess it all up.

If you’re unhappy with your single life, you might start looking for temporary solutions, thinking it’s going to fix the problem.

“Maybe if I find a partner I’ll finally be happy.”

This creates a downward spiral of settling for less than you deserve just for the sake of being in a relationship…because you think it’ll finally make you happy. You think that’s what’s missing.

A partner is supposed to enhance the life that you already love. If you’re unhappy being single, you’re not magically going to become happy just by getting into a relationship.

Till next time.