Content Update (where I've been)

Hi all, 

First stop, not dead, sorry that things have been glacial. Honest reality was a combination of a few factors: 

• my IRL work had become increasingly unmanageable, through a combination of emotionally charged rash lay-offs and volatile hours, there were some days of my work which would involve me only having 4-5 hours between some shifts, then getting home so tired id have very little time to do anything before sleeping and repeating;
• I bit off more than I could chew when it came to last set of commissions, including taking another group picture in addition to the one I was working on previously. I had discussed this with the commissioner and their friends prior to me taking it and thought I could weave it into my regular commission schedule; 
• Lastly, and this was probably the most impactful, I was experiencing quite a lot of anxiety about posting updates and feeling they weren't sufficient. I dislike being behind schedule as much as anyone but I feel like very frequently after I post any updates on any works there is always at least one or two messages from patrons or commissioners asking for when the next update to X is coming. I felt a bit trapped in that, if I responded or posted anything it was never what some % slice of the pie was looking for, and getting over that anxiety while also under this tunnel of "just keep working and push thru" felt like a negative feedback loop, the longer I waited the less I had gotten done in the appropriate amount of time I had been without posting. 

So, that's the sum of it. I still sit here struggling feeling a little saddened that I have very little to update you all with in regards to actual content, but as a consequence to that I'm doing some other things to hopefully stem the tide. 

1) I'm pausing patron payments until this is cleared up. This should only be for this month as I wrap up what I've gotten myself into, and I feel unfair for having taken your money for this long without being able to provide some level of insight into the backend of things, which is a primary reason for what a lot of this is here for. 

2) I'm sorry to say but stickers are going to be delayed until I finish this batch of commissions, then I'm going to crank thru them until I'm all caught up. Patrons are still getting their May stickers even though I'm pausing payments on it as a gesture of gratitude for sticking around.

3) That second group pic is incomplete, I just have some light detail and work I need to add and its complete, then I'm going to work on wrapping up everything else. I have sketches done for some of my other commissions but honestly that anxiety is still there and I'm going to have to walk it back until I can get to a better place where I can share that. Once I do I'm going to pound out everything else and then walk back into 

4) This last round of opening commissions was a new experiment in how many slots I take, how much work I do, and clearly that failed. I took on too many projects at once, spearheaded by that one brand new large project, a comic, and several sequences, so I'm going to take some time to reflect on how this and reevaluate how many slots I open at once. 

Thank you all for your patience on this, I done really fucked up this time and I'm sorry for dragging you all along. This seems to be a repeating pattern for me that I really want to break out of anytime I open comm's. 

-M