Genevieve King

How to Not have Fun: "Superstore" and Militant Non-monogamy

Added 2024-02-11 11:00:08 +0000 UTC

Non-monogamy does not have to be just heavy conversations all the time. We do talk a lot, think a lot and feel a lot. But if all that talking can't lead to feeling a bit closer and more free, then what does it lead to?

Today, let's dive into an example of this on screen. The US sitcom Superstore shows us how to have all stress and no play in non-monogamy.

Timecode:

0.00 - Intro / let's meet the characters
03.25 - What (kind of) works. transparency, talking, self-education, shame-free discussion of STIs and polycule health
06.05 - Thinking instead of feeling. intellectualizing the emotional, denying reality, acting or reacting to run away from feelings (and how that can hurt people)
09.55 - Bad advice from friends. "the answer to your struggle is to go back to monogamy", or being supportive in theory but repulsed by the reality
13.10 - What is romance? trying to compartmentalize "girlfriend stuff," to have emotional monogamy while sleeping with a friend
14.55 - Trying to control. dictating instead of collaborating, primaries putting couples interest over others' safety, militant rules as an attempt to feel safe, coercive agreements
17.55 - Objectifying partners. dehumanizing rhetoric, viewing partners as self-serving (or couple-serving), the problems that come up when non-monogamy is more about value extraction than relationship building
20.00 - Outro / imagining more models of relationships