A Long Bus Ride Through Myanmar

Do you think that everything happens for a reason? Sometimes when negative things happen in life it's hard for me to understand why, and more importantly, what is the meaning of all of this?

I can reflect back on events in my life that did not go along with my “plan” and realize that those moments were extremely important in the evolution of my life, and ultimately my own consciousness.

Back when i was traveling in Asia and working different teaching jobs, there were moments like this where i felt lost, alone, confused…and when things didn’t go according to my “plan” it made me question, maybe i'm not doing what i should be doing in life?  But looking back on those moments I realize they were extremely important in leading me to be in the right place at the right time, and in confusing times in life, I think it's very important to trust, and to understand, everything really does happen for a reason.

I had a teaching job in Myanmar, a small country east of India.  I was working as a yoga instructor for a Hostel in the city of Bagan.  Myanmar was a beautiful and amazing country, and from the outside my life looked perfect.  On the inside, I felt completely alone and lost, and was desperately looking for a sign from the universe.  It was hard for me to make friends, as not many of the local Burmese spoke any english, and the travelers that I interacted with only really ended up staying in the area for a couple of days maximum.   I didn't really understand what I was even doing in Asia, and contemplated just buying a ticket back home. I had feelings that i was wasting time and that i should go back home and re-enroll in university ( looking back i know these feelings were not coming from my true intuition, but just the conditions of society)

I ended up getting really badly sick.  Throwing up for three days, and unable to move.  This  felt like one of the worst sicknesses of my life. Being alone and sick in a very underdeveloped country was very scary. During my worst time, i bought a bus ticket to the main city and decided i would fly home and forget about this traveling nonsense. I didn't have internet so I couldn't purchase my flight home, but my bus was scheduled to leave in two days. 

I received an email from the bus company, telling me they overbooked the bus and that I had to take it that night or alternatively in a week.  I quickly packed my things and told him I would take the bus that evening. For some reason at that moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay.  The trauma of my sickness was slowly fading, and my intuition was telling me I needed to get on that bus.

The bus left at 9pm and it was 12 hours of driving in the darkness.  I had all the time in the world to think about my life, and what the hell I was doing in the middle of Myanmar alone, and confused. What is the point of all of this? This thought kept repeating over and over in my head.

I arrived in the main city, Yangon, and booked a hostel for the night so I could get internet and buy my ticket home.  I sat in that hostel after a nice warm shower, writing in my journal, when a guy approached me inquiring about my camera.  We started chatting, and he told me that he was traveling through Asia, working as a freelance photographer.  I told him I was a yoga teacher and a ameteur youtuber (at the time I had under 100 subscribers!)

He asked me if I wanted to join him in going to an abandoned amusement park just outside the city.  We ended up spending the day together laughing, and connecting on a really deep soul level.  It honestly felt like I had known this person my entire life.  He told me he was going to Thailand, and without hesitation, i bought a ticket there as well.  This person brought me out of my own head and made me realize the point of it all.  Connection. I sort of fell in love with him, but more importantly he re-inspired my desire to experience the world, and continue to travel.  

Everything started to make sense.  I began to trust the process, and let go of this need to “control.” Reminding myself that everything really does happen for a reason.  

After a week in Thailand i was contacted by a Surf Lodge in Sri Lanka, asking if i wanted to teach for them.  I quickly accepted the job and bought my ticket.  Saying goodbye to this beautiful human was hard, but I could really feel that life was bringing me exactly where I needed to go.  Sri Lanka ended up being one of the most transformative experiences I ever had, and I met some of my dearest friends there, that I'm still very close with to this day. I have much more to say about these experiences in Sri Lanka, but i'll leave that for a different newsletter.

So looking back, if I hadn't gotten sick, i would have never bought that bus ticket, never meeting this beautiful guy, and probably never going to Sri Lanka.  So that's it, even in tough times, i always need to remember, that everything happens for a reason, and to trust that things are going to be okay

Yesterday, it was 5am and I was in the car about to drive to seattle.  There were some things I had to pick up from the city, and errands I needed to run.  When I turned the key to start my car, the engine wouldn't start.  I panicked and felt very uneasy.  Car troubles is something that scares the heck out of me because I have very little knowledge on the mechanics of cars.

I looked under the hood and found some chewed up wires.  The marmots must have gotten under there.  I felt hopeless, thinking why is this happening? 

I laid awake that night wondering what I was going to do. I remembered that moment in Asia when i felt like everything was going wrong, but it ultimately led me to the right place. And it made me wonder, maybe those wires were chewed up for a reason?  Maybe if i had driven to Seattle, i could have gotten into a car accident?  Maybe something awful would have happened?

I need to always remind myself in life, everything happens for a reason, and once we learn to let go and trust the process, we can understand that these life experiences, whether good or bad, are helping to contribute to the evolution of our consciousness. 

My car still hasn't been fixed, but i trust somehow it will all work out :)