When your internal world doesn't match the external (or something).
Added 2018-04-13 09:22:04 +0000 UTCToday was a strange mix of all really exciting good news and just general heaviness. We had so many meetings today and everyone just seems so genuinely eager and excited to help with the record, it's like all the pieces are falling into place for a successful launch and then somewhere in the middle of it I'm telling myself to not look too hard at it/put too much stock in it. I'm someone who has a heavy bend toward pessimism, I tell myself that if I can imagine and predict all the ways something/someone might disappoint me, then I can keep myself safe from that inevitable disappointment. but that's not reality, refusing to be excited or hopeful about anything doesn't really save you from pain, it robs you of joy, leaving you in an eternal world of apathy where it doesn't matter if things go well or not because you've pre-decided that outside things won't effect your internal world. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but longing fulfilled is a tree of life. It's been interesting today that an intellectual understanding of my desire to distance myself from the outcome, doesn't actually prevent me from doing it haha. Anyway, things are going really well. Take it easy on yourself today.
PS. the picture is my current phone wallpaper which I changed this morning and made me smile overtime I looked at it. The artist is Vaughn Pinpin and you can find him here.
Comments
Thanks Tessa i needed that today!
2018-04-13 11:27:30 +0000 UTCIt happens because you've been hurt or betrayed before. Your experience says surprises are disappointing -- not pleasant. Being braced means it hurts less. It means you take the hit on your shoulder and not in your heart. Your vulnerability, however, is not negotiable. That's how today happened, and you're still amazing AND heavy-hearted. Your sincerity is always special to us.
Troy R
2018-04-13 09:47:30 +0000 UTC
