Looking For Quests
Added 2023-02-07 22:26:37 +0000 UTCSo, I have realized that in order to make $1 million dollars a month, I am going to have to level up considerably the rate of and quality of my content. Which will not be hard as soon as I let go of the part of me that feels bad for people who do bad things.
I have to give commentary on life things because if I don't then why am I here? Someone must talk to these bully parents. Someone has to say something. So. What have you seen lately that you'd like me to comment on? I'm looking for quests.
Comments
That said, it would be cool to have content around parents who shut their kids down when they are trying to be vulnerable and connect. Saying "you hurt my feelings" is not disrespectful, and while it's important kids are respectful of parents, some parents don't seem interested in being accountable for the way they hurt their children and then act confused when they don't want to be best friends. I hope that all makes sense. I'm so happy to be here!
S. L. Fight
2023-02-24 05:54:54 +0000 UTCThis is a little more specific, so I don't know if it's not what you're looking for. I work with a lot of trans young people (I'm a therapist 🤪) and they will be out multiple years...if they correct their parents who misgender them or say they hurt their feelings, the parents will fly off the handle and say that the trans person has no patience (ha!) and turns it into how mean their kid is without ever apologizing. I feel comfortable addressing this in my work but I'm not very online or public facing so I wouldn't make a video.
S. L. Fight
2023-02-24 05:53:19 +0000 UTCComing back to this because you saying “call a spade a spade” regarding spanking being abusive. I think that’s such an important perspective and also why so many parents will do anything to avoid making that connection. It sits them squarely in guilt and responsibility for the behavior I think on some level they know is wrong. I’ve hit my older two children in the past and I can look at it now and admit the truth. I was abusive to them and I’m still in healing as are they. That should be an uncomfortable feeling to sit in and work through and I think this conversation needs to be normalized. As you said, it’s ok to stop being abusive. Making that mistake doesn’t mean you have to absorb it into your identity and call it discipline. Maybe I’m stating the obvious and I’m just repeating a lot of what you said in that TikTok I just wanted to add on my voice as a parent who has been abusive in the past and is working to change.
Hillary Cox
2023-02-12 02:44:41 +0000 UTCIt’s tricky and I think a lot of it depends on the nature of that person, their willingness to learn, who they are and how they look at their kids. For example telling someone who is truly an angry hateful person how horrible they are to their children won’t go far. I think a lot of parents want to learn but are flawed in ways that cause them to resist examining their behavior and that’s unfortunate. I think you do a lot by having these conversations and caring enough to do so. I think society at large has a responsibility to support families more so they have the bandwidth to heal and care for their children, so with that in mind, realize our ability to make an impact is severely limited by that. I think that’s important to know because it’s disheartening to see so many refuse to change. I’d also bet your efforts reach further than you’ll ever realize. Thanks for your time.
Hillary Cox
2023-02-08 18:22:42 +0000 UTCI honestly think it depends. On the person and relationship you have with the person. How much do you feel you can push without being pushy. We have to give people space to grow and also when they are growing thorns....
Derrick Hoard
2023-02-08 17:26:56 +0000 UTCI don't know, but I am going to have to make one./
Derrick Hoard
2023-02-08 17:25:21 +0000 UTCThinking on this more- a question I have for you is, how do you believe this is best handled? Crappy parents deserve to hear about it. Where’s the line between being too direct vs being too accommodating?
Hillary Cox
2023-02-08 17:08:53 +0000 UTCThis makes me think of a friend who was raised in an extremely abusive home. She managed to end many cycles- addiction, poverty, beatings and having to pick out her own “switch”. She’s gone no contact with her parents and she has two children of her own. One day we were at our local swimming pool and one of her young kiddos did something she didn’t like. She snapped and ordered them both out of the pool. I saw fear fall over both of them, silently sitting on the bench. I knew then I’d need to find someone else to watch my girls the following week. This didn’t stop me from seeing her casually and learning more about her and her struggles. I was able to connect with her, help her see how much she had managed to change, and lead by example on how children deserve to be treated. I am not a perfect parent and I apologize for my daily mistakes. She came to me recently and told me that my connection and encouragement helped her to make better choices and stop hitting her kids. Not everyone deserves or should get this approach and I also wonder if I should have been more direct with her. Just wanted to share I hope it helps.
Hillary Cox
2023-02-08 16:40:15 +0000 UTC
