GAM Bonus 057: The Snyder Cut
Added 2021-03-26 23:31:23 +0000 UTCThis month, we tackle the longest selection in the history (and, dare I say, future) of God Awful Movies, the abomination that is The Snyder Cut.
Comments
“Batman punches the evil aliens in the dick and balls” should be the way DC handles every silly comic book thing where Batman is ludicrously outclassed by whatever the gribblies of the week are.
Matt
2025-02-24 02:39:11 +0000 UTCSuperman: How’d you get the house back from the bank? Me: he bought it, you moron. It’s not like the house has sentimental value to the bank, they foreclosed on it so they could sell it! Batman: I bought the bank. Me: what the actual fuck I feel like that on its own is a great example of this movie’s horrendous storytelling. I think it was Nerdwriter who said that Zach Snyder is obsessed with creating cinematic “moments” without actually understanding the basics of good storytelling that make those “moments” meaningful and memorable.
Freddy B from Fredericksburg
2024-05-13 12:56:51 +0000 UTCI’ve laughed so hard at Eli during home that I’ve seen stars and nearly passed out.
Morris Salisbury
2024-03-21 19:06:34 +0000 UTCI'm honestly just still so amused with the way Eli says "I used my BLADE of AMASKIRA!!"
Blue Gemini
2022-10-29 15:46:32 +0000 UTCMy favorite is when people crack themselves up, it was so good
Lief Theorine
2022-04-24 19:04:18 +0000 UTCI know this isn't something most people would care about, but it bothered the hell out of me. Darkseid is pronounced "Dark Side". We know this because of every time he says his own name. Even in the comics there are references and comments on how it is obviously just "Dark Side" spelled weirdly. In the movie, the sort-of-Greek on the wall said "δαρκcειδοc", which is utter nonsense. Ancient Greek, which I assume they were attempting, did not have the letter "C" represent "S". That would be sigma (Σ or σ). On top of that, the spelling above would sound like "Dark-say-ee-dos". Transliteration is pure laziness. The word before it, "cκοτομεδεc" (presumably "skotomedes") would basically mean "dark counsel" (or maybe they were going for "dark mind"?). So... "Spooky McEvilbrain"?
Lisorael
2021-05-21 22:05:09 +0000 UTCIm baaaaaaack. For this. Specifically
Phoenix Hauser
2021-05-05 23:44:21 +0000 UTCMarvel: “Thanos wants to impress his goth girlfriend”. DC: “Nihilism is a bummer.”
Joanna, 666th Patron of the Dear Old Dads podcast.
2021-05-04 09:56:40 +0000 UTCSo, uh, 8 hour long Lugeons Cut in a year?
Von Flooferton
2021-04-22 20:24:36 +0000 UTCHoly shit, I’ve never heard Eli lose it laughing like that, that was completely and utterly a m a z i n g .
Kunoku The Proto
2021-04-08 02:09:51 +0000 UTCI didn't watch the Snyder cut but I hated the regular justice league movie. I don't like superman as a hero at all and flash is probably one of my favorites. I feel like they dicked flash over hard in the movie by doing the same thing they do with quicksilver in the xmen movies. Somehow super speed can solve all the problems the movie has but they still try to write the character so they're completely worthless. At least in the animated movies flash doesn't run back in time because it always fucks things up.
David S.
2021-04-04 06:14:16 +0000 UTC"the Baltimore of comic book movie fans" is one of the funniest and most accurate things I have ever heard, both about DCEU super fans AND Baltimore.
Bobby Tropicana
2021-03-31 21:14:45 +0000 UTCI dislike the mcu movies except infinity war , but lets be honest.. the worst mcu movie is still better than anything popping out of Dc that doesnt have harley Quinn in it.. and shazam. That was a good one.
AgentButteryNipples
2021-03-31 06:35:44 +0000 UTCI hate you all now.... none of you know enough about DC comics to review any of these movies. Do an MCU movie... Thor 2 was awful and Iron meh 3. Yes the Flash and Superman break the laws of physics in the comics.
The Viking Paratrooper
2021-03-31 03:44:12 +0000 UTCI watched this movie because a friend said it was good. I haven't talked to him since lol
Catholic Jerry (formally atheist Jerry, the inquisition showed me the light)
2021-03-30 15:01:53 +0000 UTCThe flash has quicksilver powers? Am I being trolled?
Anonymous ethicist, not a serial killer at all, just asking questions.
2021-03-29 23:30:22 +0000 UTCI both love and hate superman. He absolutely removes all possible stakes and makes the story pointless. He is also hilarious because he is so OP. I broke out laughing when he just obliterated the boss. Also everytime he just clearly decided to start and win a dick measuring contest with Flash.
Dahak
2021-03-29 22:22:50 +0000 UTCIve listened to two seperate podcasts about this movie and I still dont know the plot
Kay Gaffney
2021-03-29 15:55:23 +0000 UTCWarning: Do not listen to this podcast while driving, you may end up laughing so hard tears fill your eyes. My god Eli was just dying in this one haha.
KingIsaacLinksr
2021-03-28 23:37:33 +0000 UTCI think that's the hardest I've ever heard Eli laugh.
My left foot
2021-03-28 22:33:23 +0000 UTCThis was incredibly funny, especially the part with Batman kicking the parademon in the dick.
Matt Eldritch
2021-03-28 21:11:16 +0000 UTCI had to keep pausing, then rewinding 15 seconds b/c I laughed so hard I couldn't hear you guys. It's a dreary & rainy day here in my neck of the woods, so this was a perfect escape.
Iheart Dogs
2021-03-28 18:47:28 +0000 UTCMy first GAM was "Right to Believe" and after a few years of listening, I feel comfortable in saying this is your masterpiece. The bit about Batman kicking parademons in the dick ruined me. I had to stop cooking dinner until I had recovered
B
2021-03-28 06:16:32 +0000 UTCYou guys always do great work, but this is the hardest I've laughed at an episode for a while, like had to stop what I was doing level of laughter, great show.
VermanShane
2021-03-28 04:26:55 +0000 UTCBatman v Superman is one of the episodes I play for people to introduce them to the podcast. I was so sad when Justice League never got a treatment. So I was soooo happy seeing this posted today.
Kyle
2021-03-28 00:19:39 +0000 UTCJust moved to the Portland area. I know nobody here and your podcasts give me a familiar voice that reminds me I can be home anywhere.
Joey Roberson-Kitzman
2021-03-27 22:27:22 +0000 UTCWho found it hard to watch it in one sitting?
Matthew Kerr
2021-03-27 22:20:40 +0000 UTCI actually enjoyed this movie 🙃🥸
Tyler "Alex" Allen
2021-03-27 19:33:09 +0000 UTCI. Need. More Eli-WonderWoman.
Kidda Sweet
2021-03-27 17:51:48 +0000 UTCHow many mango nectars to soothe Eli's vocal cords after two hours of growly voice?
Ben - Come eat at Ben's Big Bugs, the restaurant where I force you to eat bowl after bowl of big, beady-eyed bugs!
2021-03-27 15:05:24 +0000 UTCYeah, that's the one part I'll actually defend. Because there are so few actual IMAX theaters around, most people forget that the real IMAX aspect ratio is pretty close to a square (1.43:1, which is virtually indistinguishable from 4:3), whereas fake IMAX is basically 16:9. Your local theater's (including my own) "IMAX" screen is very likely a converted version of a regular auditorium, where they made the screen veeeeery slightly taller and moved the seats a few rows closer to the front. It's the reason why basically any movie can be "converted" to IMAX if needs arise (during a particularly dry spell, my local theater actually showed Ocean's 8, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, The Disaster Artist, and I Still Believe in their IMAX auditorium). According to interviews, the movie was originally shot in full frame (because Snyder wanted it to play in IMAX theaters) but framed in the usual 1.85:1 (because the studio said, "Hell no" and mandated that they make a normal movie). So yes, I can see why this version was put out as though it were a real IMAX release, even though no one has an IMAX screen of their own at home. As for everything else you guys talk about, though...yeah, woof.
J
2021-03-27 15:00:35 +0000 UTCThe Squad trailer dropping and then this? BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!
Danial Gibson
2021-03-27 06:57:49 +0000 UTCSuggestion for next months bonus: Dune. The awful 1980's one. Be nice to pre-game that before the hopefully good one...
Jess Donovan
2021-03-27 05:34:28 +0000 UTCLook I'm a hardcore DC comic fan I am a hardcore DC animated fan it's been a very very very long time since DC did anything good with live action. If you are a fan of the characters you should be able to admit that marvel one the movie verse.
Beteljuice
2021-03-27 04:01:04 +0000 UTCIt was shot in 4:3 for the imax version, basically they released the imax format version
Richard
2021-03-27 03:39:27 +0000 UTCGod. I *need* the 500 page notes for this one.
The Younglings Had It Coming
2021-03-27 03:11:33 +0000 UTCI have never heard you three get as high of a pitched voice as this episode. Some from anger, some from the pure joy of a scene's stupidity. You are a gift to society... Mainly because I'm not watching that shit.
Cory Schoelzel
2021-03-27 03:09:15 +0000 UTCI haven't listened yet, I'm too drunk/stoned. Knowing that this waits for me in the morning???
Ian from wine country
2021-03-27 03:04:20 +0000 UTCTHANK YOU!!!! I joined Patreon after Batman vs Superman. This is perfect. And Eli thank you for immediately recognizing that DC hates joy. My husband watched this the day it came out like he was looking for clues to a better life. I was so grateful that you called out the idiocy of that expectation, just like when he dragged me to Batman vs Superman. FULL CIRCLE. I knew when Flash was choreographed to a dirge this was going to be the Sad and disappointing shit show that I expected. Your review gives me catharsis
Danielle Kemmer
2021-03-27 02:33:07 +0000 UTCI thought that reviews are supposed to be shorter than feature length films. This is gonna be a long ride
JustAGuy
2021-03-27 01:12:25 +0000 UTCI usually don't either, especially the religious ones. I tried to watch the parkour movie once, and didn't make it 5 minutes. But I've already watched half of the Snyder one, and so feel obligated to finish it for Eli now.
The Godless Trucker & his trusty dog Loki
2021-03-27 00:58:00 +0000 UTCI have never been happier to support a Patreon.
Jim Storch
2021-03-27 00:57:29 +0000 UTCFYI on Wonder Woman's baseball bondage outfit: The couple who came up with her character were really into bondage (no judgement), and they wanted to write a bondage positive comic book hero. Lots of weird documentary later: that's where the bracelets and the Lasso of Truth come from.
Julie LaVoice
2021-03-27 00:56:11 +0000 UTCThe trick is to listen to the episodes and never actually watch the movies. I've listened to every GAMcast episode multiple times, and have only watched like six of the movies, all of them mainstream ones (and only two of them religious).
Kurt Montandon
2021-03-27 00:47:13 +0000 UTCHad to stop watching Blue Bloods with the wife because of that fecking accent. 🤣
Shawn Browne
2021-03-27 00:43:35 +0000 UTCGoddammit, why'd you have to do this one?! I only got halfway through that movie, and was so bored I dozed off on the power button. And now you're making me go back and finish watching that piece of shit so I'll know what you're talking about?! Someone send me some weed, I don't think it's legal where I'm at right now.
The Godless Trucker & his trusty dog Loki
2021-03-27 00:36:59 +0000 UTCThe Amazons might have comeback practice, they're Greek and the Spartans did.
Krostos
2021-03-27 00:34:59 +0000 UTCIf you don't release the Heath Cut of this review, I will be disappointed. It needs to be 10 seconds long or so.
SilentDis
2021-03-27 00:28:05 +0000 UTCYaaaaaaàassssssssss
G. T. Blackwell
2021-03-27 00:26:04 +0000 UTCPro tip. Don’t take a mouthful of your drink just before Eli breaks into his Boston accent complete with the female version 😂😂
Jude Searles
2021-03-27 00:24:00 +0000 UTCI am so excited to watch you all rip this apart 🥺 (even though I thoroughly enjoyed it)
HollowPuff
2021-03-27 00:11:47 +0000 UTCPatreon goal: A transcript of Eli's notes!
Julie LaVoice
2021-03-27 00:00:22 +0000 UTCSitting through this 4 hour long fuck you wasn't for naught. Thanks guys.
Douglas
2021-03-26 23:54:47 +0000 UTCany and all comments and reviews are in juxtaposition with JL2017, rather than it as it's own movie. JL2017 was already... "fine". There's not much an extended cut could have done to improve it.
Kitsunelaine
2021-03-26 23:52:03 +0000 UTCYay! I needed this today
MouthStache
2021-03-26 23:51:40 +0000 UTCTwo and a half hours. Still shorter than the time it takes to watch the Snyder Cut.
Kitsunelaine
2021-03-26 23:40:35 +0000 UTCIs it really that bad still? I've heard good things. Marketing perhaps. Suppose I have to go watch it now so I can listen to this!
Scott
2021-03-26 23:37:20 +0000 UTCMy body is ready.
Alexander Thomas
2021-03-26 23:32:52 +0000 UTCThe things that make me happy are real weird
SANDY COLBY CARR
2021-03-26 23:32:44 +0000 UTCIT BEGINS
Al Truist
2021-03-26 23:32:07 +0000 UTC
