Looking on feedback on Kira's intro
Added 2019-07-20 23:38:06 +0000 UTCHello! I just wrote Kira's intro, and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I was hoping to get others' feedback on it. How do you feel when you read this? Is it boring, funny, etc.? Feel free to leave comments below or msg me on discord. Thanks!
Comments
https://f95zone.to/threads/academy-of-fetishes-v1-01-03-aofg.3769/page-12#post-1809862 https://f95zone.to/threads/academy-of-fetishes-v1-01-03-aofg.3769/page-13#post-2057842
Charles Hinkle
2019-07-25 17:16:20 +0000 UTCNot at all. May I have a link?
Bawdy Ink Slinger
2019-07-25 05:09:26 +0000 UTCCharles Hinkle
2019-07-24 20:01:06 +0000 UTCOK, thanks for the feedback!
Bawdy Ink Slinger
2019-07-21 23:24:05 +0000 UTCI would say a skip button is critical, just because upon replay it gets boring to read the same text again. I don't say that the text is necessarily too long per se, it's just that presenting it in little chucks makes it really seem much longer than it would be otherwise.
Skunkupine
2019-07-21 23:22:14 +0000 UTCWould a skip button achieve the same thing?
Bawdy Ink Slinger
2019-07-21 21:59:02 +0000 UTCBTW, is this your way of saying that the scene was too wordy or boring? Or were you just saying you don't like conversations that are on a rail?
Bawdy Ink Slinger
2019-07-21 21:03:20 +0000 UTCUnderstandable. Then let me suggest an alternative: make it so you can show that entire wall of text in one interaction - show a dialog box with all the dialog in it, and a scrollbar, and let the player just scroll through it.
Skunkupine
2019-07-21 21:02:29 +0000 UTCI see. OK, I'll consider that, but even if all the choices merge back together immediately, that's still 2x the writing, and if I want it to be comedic, that means 2x the jokes. In summary, I agree, but your suggestion is challenging to scale. Maybe I'll give these intros a second pass some day to implement your idea, that way I can work on another character's intro sooner.
Bawdy Ink Slinger
2019-07-21 17:45:49 +0000 UTCCool. Yeah, that typo is intentional.
Bawdy Ink Slinger
2019-07-21 17:44:02 +0000 UTCYou might try to break up that one long string of dialog, and allow some degree of choice in there - I find that I get bored with just clicking "next" in such cases, and it starts to feel like I am "on a rail".
Skunkupine
2019-07-21 13:19:56 +0000 UTCI'm pretty sure it is written "Eureka", not "Eurethra". The rest of the dialogue looks fine to me, not too long nor boring (in the end it's actually quite funny).
darlic
2019-07-21 07:55:41 +0000 UTC
