Some news for this month.

I'm usually loathe to talk about life-issues in an online forum.  Everyone has different things going on in their lives that aren't shared online because part of being an adult is dealing with things as they come on their own.

However, because this current life situation is going to have an impact on my work here, and the upcoming patron sketch for December.

So, a couple of things to note:

1) I will largely be doing colour works this month from existing art.  I might not have many, or even any new sketches for this month.  But I have a large backlog of images I can pull from to do painted and coloured works from for December.

2) I will have to postpone the patron sketch for this month (December).  Note that even if the next folks on the list do cancel their patronage at the end of this month, they will still receive the offer of a sketch.  One of  the bonuses for the $10 tier is that it guarantees at least one sketch.  This will be a delay, not a cancellation.

Normally I'm really vague when it comes to family health issues, in this specific case I have to be more direct about some things going on to fully explain the situation.

Part of my working life is being an active and live-in caretaker for my father.  Years back, my father had a stroke.  It was a minor one that affected his ability to speak, leaving him with something called 'Expressive Aphasia'.  He's also had a few other health issues that have left him more and more unable to get around as easily.  One of which is progressive kidney disease.  So I've been taking over helping him in situations where he needs to understand/speak to people, and taking care of his property as well as things like shopping/cooking/etc.

With the pandemic this year he has been, understandably, reluctant to want to go out anywhere.  He's also been stubborn regarding things he needs to do to take care of his health.  He's of sound mind, but is more angry at his inability to do things than willing to do anything to improve the situation he's in.  I can only do so much to help, but I'll be frank, it's taken a hell of a toll on me as well.

I'm someone who has been diagnosed with, and am treated for, Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  I also deal with a few other mental-health issues, one of which is Seasonal Affective Disorder, and while every cell in my body wants to scream and hide in bed, I literally cannot do that.  My father's ability to eat, to get to appointments, and survive depends on my ability to 'get my shit together and go', to use a colloquial way of putting it.

In the last month, my father's health has been deteriorating.  Its at a point where I have to argue with him to listen to his doctors.  I have, reluctantly, started planning for a time when he may have to go to the hospital whether he likes it or not.  A stressful thing even at the best of times, multiplied by COVID still being a thing.

This has left me absolutely creatively wrecked.  In the last month and a half I've found it incredibly hard to pull anything creative from the swirling mess in my head.  I'm burnt out on ideas, and very, very tired.

So I apologize to everyone for not being able to do new sketches this month.  I find solace in inking, and in doing colours and digital paintings.  Its relaxing, thus the decision to do a painting month more than a sketch month.

I just need to have the month not to worry about getting new stuff done, and take a break, and just paint.  I hope you all can understand.  This is by no means a permanent thing, but I did want to be honest, especially when it comes to doing patron sketches and showing new slices of the world.

Thank you all.  And again, I'm sorry that I won't be as productive outside of coloured work.  The comic writing stalled, as did the thumbnailing for the first few pages.  I just haven't been able to force myself to work at it.

I do have outlets for mental help.  And if need be, have people nearby that can help in a physical sense as well (though right now we're literally under one of the most useless lockdowns I've ever experienced.  We can't visit one another, but can go to fitness clubs, churches and bars all we want.)

I wish you all good health.  I hope Christmas can at least be a time of peace for everyone.  I'll see you all next post, which is likely to be a colour version of the Soot picture posted last month.

-T.J.