I Have A Damn Family Again - Chapter 85

Chapter 85: Not by Request, But by My Own Hand (1)

-Ding!

▶ Late Arrival Event Activated!◀

The status window, accompanied by Arina's grating voice, finally displayed the notification.

Even with Flora standing beside me, it seemed the event trigger had been tied to my arrival, not hers.

“As you can see from her waiting here all this time, Flora has been anxiously anticipating your return. Even during meals, her eyes were constantly searching for you. I tried to convince her to come inside, but she refused. Now do you understand how she felt?”

Arina's words were laced with reprimand, as if scolding a disobedient child.

'Do I understand how Flora felt?'

Her question filled me with a strange sense of relief.

'Yes, this feels familiar.'

This was the true nature of my family.

They didn't see me as one of their own.
I’d never be treated as an equal in this house.
I was nothing more than a stray they'd taken in, a stranger with no blood ties.

That was the extent of our connection.

While I typically tried to suppress such thoughts, in this moment, I almost welcomed Arina's animosity. It was a stark reminder, jolting me from complacency, sharpening the edges of my vigilance. My eldest sister had always excelled at keeping me on edge.

"And while we're on the subject, you need to let go of your grudge. Flora has been struggling ever since she was barred from attending the trial. She's barely eating, consumed with worry. So—"

I braced myself for her next words, anticipating another lecture on the importance of family, the need to forgive and forget.

But to my surprise, Arina echoed the words of my eldest sister, those uttered years ago in a different world.

“Be lenient with your sister. Let it go, alright?”

-Be lenient with your sister. Let it go, alright?

The uncanny similarity was almost comical.

How could her words be so identical, down to the last syllable?

Those words, spoken by my eldest sister when I’d discovered our housekeeper stealing my allowance, when I was denied the chance to see my youngest sister, hospitalized after a traumatic incident.

I was the one being told to be lenient, to forgive my sister for her transgressions. Just like now.

‘I should be thanking her.’

Her words had jolted me awake, erasing any lingering confusion about Flora's presence. My vigilance, dulled by recent events, snapped back into focus.

Indifferently, adopting the same nonchalant demeanor I'd perfected over the years, I met Arina's disapproving gaze and replied:

“Why should I care if she waited for me?”

-Ding!

▶ Arina's affinity has decreased!◀

Just like her counterpart from my past life, Arina’s expression contorted with anger.

“Carsein, what was that? Are you saying you don’t care that your sister waited for you all this time?”

Arina demanded, her voice laced with indignation. Her affinity had dropped by a single percentage point.

Was she seriously asking that?

“Yes.”

I replied flatly, knowing full well that I’d need to provoke her further to escape this conversation.

Arina’s eyes narrowed, her gaze as sharp as a blade. The air around us grew cold, as if her anger had a physical presence.

But I had to speak my mind.

“I never asked Flora to wait for me. So why am I being blamed for her being here?”
“Carsein.”
“And about the trial… my decision was logical, wasn’t it? Emma was Flora’s nanny. What if she’d sided with her?”
“Carsein Bagran…!”

Arina cut herself off, her voice lowering to a hiss. She was clearly worried about waking Flora.

Taking a deep breath, she attempted to regain control, her voice strained with suppressed fury.

“Enough with your nonsense. How can you be so callous towards your own sister?! Flora was genuinely worried about you! That’s why she waited for you all this time!”

If only she knew.

She spoke from a position of ignorance.

It was Flora who’d denied Carsein any semblance of acceptance, Flora who’d gone to great lengths to ostracize him.

And now, I was expected to forgive and forget, to embrace the sister who’d treated me with disdain, while they, the ones who’d denied me even the basic respect of family, remained blameless?

Preposterous.

“Tell her to stop. I don’t need her concern.”
“You little…!”
“Tell her to do whatever she wants. Catch a cold, it’s none of my business.”

Arina gritted her teeth, her patience finally snapping.

“You… you haven't changed one bit! You’re still the same cold-hearted boy, incapable of understanding your sister’s feelings…!”

-Ding!

▶ Arina's affinity has decreased!◀
[ Current level: 24% ]

“You were right, Carsein. Giving you any authority was a mistake. I was foolish to believe you'd changed, to even consider bringing you to the Eastern Nobles’ Conference.”

-Ding!

▶ Arina's affinity has decreased!◀
[ Current level: 22% ]

“I’ll be revoking your privileges, right here, right now. You are no longer permitted to attend the Eastern Nobles’ Conference. Even if I have to inform Mother, this decision is final!”

Arina’s voice rose to a furious crescendo.

“Hmm…? Big Sister?”

And at that precise moment, Flora stirred from her sleep.

“S-Sorry, Flora. Did I wake you?”
“Hmm? It’s okay… What’s going on? Why are you here… Oh.”

Flora, rubbing her sleepy eyes, froze the moment her gaze met mine.

She quickly averted her eyes, her demeanor shifting from sleepy confusion to wide-eyed panic. She burrowed into Arina’s side as if seeking refuge.

And then, a bright light emanated from an object to my right.

‘…A Memorial.’

It was the flower pot Carsein had brought back from the outside. It typically appeared after completing a main episode.

Considering I'd completed an episode ahead of schedule, its sudden appearance wasn't entirely unexpected.

But…

▶ You have automatically acquired the Memorial!◀

-Flash!

It seemed I wouldn't need to wait until later to retrieve it. The Memorial glowed brightly, revealing another fragment of Carsein’s past.

My vision flickered.

The setting for this Memorial: the Ducal Manor.

***

Carsein appeared at the manor entrance.

His appearance was as disheveled as ever.

If it had simply been dust and dirt, one could assume he’d spent the day training in the practice yard. But the numerous bruises and cuts told a different story.

Scratches, some oozing blood, marred his skin, but these weren't sword wounds. These were the marks of blunt force trauma, inflicted by objects thrown from a distance. The fresh purple and yellow hues of the bruises indicated they were recent.

And in this state, Carsein entered the manor.

“Y-Young Master! What happened to you?!”

Shaiden, his face etched with alarm, rushed to Carsein’s side, catching him as he stumbled.

“…I ran into some bandits.”
“Young Master…”

Bandits.

A blatant lie.

Shaiden knew better. These were the wounds inflicted by thrown stones and farm tools, not bandit weaponry.

Based on the rumors circulating lately, these injuries were likely the handiwork of the Shatrain territory residents. If he were to report this incident to the madam, along with Heron, those responsible would face severe punishment.

But he refrained from pressing further, sensing Carsein’s reluctance to reveal the source of his injuries.

“Let’s get you treated first, Young Master.”
“No, I have something I need to… ugh…”
“You can barely stand, Young Master.”
“It’s urgent.”

Shaiden, reluctantly, had to postpone Carsein’s treatment.

“If it’s urgent, wouldn’t it be best to inform the Madam?”
“No, not Mother.”
“Excuse me?”
“Absolutely not. Never. If Mother finds out about this…”

Carsein shook his head vehemently, his voice filled with a desperate plea. He was searching for someone else.

“Do you know where… Claire… No, Arina is?”

Instead of seeking solace from the mentally unstable head of the household, Carsein sought out Arina.

Shaiden simply tilted his head towards the hallway. There was no need to search for Arina. She was approaching them, her expression a mixture of annoyance and disdain.

“Why are you looking for me in this state, Carsein?”

Her voice, sharp and dismissive, cut through the air.

But Carsein, in his current state, was beyond caring about Arina’s judgment.

“The people of Shatrain, they chased me away. Just one more day, I just need one more day there.”
“Ha.”

Arina scoffed, as if he’d uttered something utterly absurd.

“You want to return to the territory you ruined with your own hands? After causing such a major incident?”
“It doesn’t matter what you say right now. Just one day…!”

Slap!

The sharp sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed through the hallway, silencing any further protests.

“Shut your mouth, Carsein,” Arina spat, her voice low and dangerous.
“…”
“You’ve incurred the wrath of countless residents. Their livelihoods have been shattered because of your selfish whims, your reckless actions. And you still want to return?”

Carsein stared at her, his eyes blank, devoid of any emotion. Arina's gaze, a mixture of contempt and disgust, pierced through him.

“Mother should have never brought you into this family.”

Her words, a cold blade, twisted cruelly in his heart.

Shaiden, sensing the escalating tension, hesitated, unsure whether to intervene. But Arina, as if determined to inflict maximum damage, added another barb.

“Know your place. You're not some esteemed noble attending the Eastern Nobles’ Conference to oversee the welfare of your people. You're a child who needs to learn to walk before you can run. You're nothing but a burden, incapable of learning from your mistakes.”

Her message was clear:

Do nothing.

Carsein, his body trembling with suppressed fury, reached out, grasping Arina’s ankle as she turned to leave.

“What do you think you’re doing…!”
“I don’t care! It doesn’t matter what I am!”
“What?”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m uneducated, a child who needs to learn to walk, a commoner masquerading as a noble! Just one thing. Please, just take this to the territory!”

His hands, covered in dirt and grime, clutched a small flowerpot, offering it to Arina as if it were a priceless treasure.

This was what he’d brought back from the territory, clinging to it despite the abuse he’d endured.

But Arina, her heart hardened against any semblance of compassion, swatted the pot away with a dismissive gesture.

-Crash!

The pot shattered, shards of pottery littering the floor.

“You’re forbidden from ever setting foot in Shatrain again. Go to your room and reflect on your actions. And stop asking me to deliver your garbage.”

The sound of Arina’s retreating footsteps, sharp and unforgiving, echoed through the hallway. Shaiden, waiting until she was gone, approached Carsein, who sat slumped on the floor, his shoulders slumped with defeat.

“Young Master, let’s go back to your…”
“Shaiden, could you… could you find me another flowerpot?”
“…That wouldn’t be difficult, but… where would you like me to place it?”
“I can’t take it to Shatrain… So I’ll keep it here. Just in case… just in case those people from the territory come here, they might recognize it.”

He couldn’t bring himself to voice the question lingering in his mind:

Wouldn’t Lady Arina object?

Carsein’s gaze, fixated on the shattered remnants of the flowerpot, revealed an obsession that defied logic.

***

▶ End of Memorial!◀
“...”

Carsein, clinging desperately to the hope represented by that flowerpot. Arina, crushing his hopes with a single, cruel gesture.

Another glimpse into his tragic past.

And a reflection of my own.

The me who'd naively believed in family, who’d attempted to seek their help, only to be dismissed and ridiculed.

My pleas, my suggestions, all met with contempt.

Yes, the very act of asking had been a mistake.

I had to achieve my goals, not by request, but by my own hand.

The Memorial ended, and I picked up the shattered pieces of the flower pot, my voice flat, devoid of any emotion, as I addressed Arina.

“Take your precious privileges. I don’t need them.”
“You…!”
“Privileges...? What do you mean, Sister?”

Flora, her brow furrowed with confusion, looked from me to Arina, who stammered, attempting to deflect her sister’s question.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, Flora. It's not important...”
“You’re right. It’s not important. After all, I’m just a commoner, as you so eloquently pointed out.”
“...!”
“N-No, that’s not what I meant. You’re not a commoner—“
“Yes, I am. I was a commoner in the past, I am a commoner now, and I will always be a commoner.”

I turned away, leaving behind a speechless Flora and a furious Arina.

But my destination wasn't the manor. It was the training grounds.