WIEDERGEBURT Chapter 20

After we killed those people from the Red Scorpions, me and Kari were treated with a lot more respect and familiarity by the members of Zane’s caravan. I guess it was because we knew how to fight. No, maybe it was because they had discovered that we were Spiritualists. This desert was a harsh and unforgiving place. Those who lacked strength quickly died.

Zane decided to hire us on as bodyguards. We agreed to work for him, at least for now. Neither of us planned on sticking around for too long. We didn’t want to remain in this desert forever, but at the moment, we didn’t know how to survive in this place on our own, nor did we know how to leave. This desert was vast. A person could travel for hundreds of kilometers and never reach the end of it. In fact, Zane had expressed surprise that the two of us had traveled so far into the desert without dying.

The sunlight bore down on the land like a harsh mistress, but me and Kari had already worked out a way to avoid being scalded. Spiritual Power. By circulating Spiritual Power through our bodies and using it to cover ourselves with a thin, film-like layer, we were able to protect our skin from the sun. At the same time, our Spiritual Power steadily increased as we exercised it. We were killing two Demon Beasts with one Spiritual Technique.

“There is an oasis up ahead,” Zane said as we walked alongside the caravan. The sands shifted under our feet, but we were wearing boots with tracts on the bottom to help give us firmer footing. “We’ll allow our Struts to rest and drink up. We will also resupply our stocks of water.”

I nodded noncommittally when I heard that.

Struts were the strange, bird-like creatures that were pulling the caravans. They were a type of non-violent D-rank Demon Beast that lived in the desert. I didn’t know much about them, but according to Zane, there were a number of people who made their living in the Endless Desert by raising them. The ones this caravan possessed had been bought by one of those Strut Trainers several years back.

“We will have to be careful, though, right?” asked Kari.

We had discarded our armor not long after entering the desert. This place was scorching hot, so anything made of steel became unbearable. One of our fellow Spiritualists had actually died because her armor had cooked her from the inside out.

She was still wearing her old clothes, which were torn in a few places but still usable. Mine weren’t much better. When we arrived in Alab, she and I would need to get a new set of clothing. I wondered what fashion was like in the Endless Desert…

“Yes.” Zane nodded, his expression grave. “While it is rare, there is a good chance that we will run into Lamia at this oasis. They are incredibly fierce and all of them can use powerful Spiritual Techniques. Even the two of you will have to be careful should we run afoul of one.”

We agreed with his words and proceeded slowly. It didn’t take long for the oasis to appear. It was a little blurry at first, with heat waves distorting the area around it, but my gaze sharpened into focus eventually, and I realized why it was called an oasis.

There was a small pool of water about ten meters across and twenty meters wide, bigger than I had expected. Situated around the pool was a large patch of grass, shrubs, and trees with compound green leaves. I believe they were called fronds. We didn’t have anything like that in Nevaria.

“Everyone, gather the water barrels and resupply while our Struts rest,” Zane ordered.

The people worked in an efficient manner, gathering up the barrels on their carts and carrying them to the pool. They undid the corks and dunked the barrels underneath the water, filling them up. Then they would cork it again and carry it back. There were sixteen barrels and each one could hold 18 liters worth of water. It would take several hours for them to load up all of those barrels, especially since they were heavy once full.

Me and Kari acted as their guards. After drinking our fill of water straight from the oasis, we patrolled the area in case anyone decided to attack. However, it looked like we were the only ones there—

“Ouch!”

My leg jerked back as a sharp pain stabbed into me. I looked down and found two puncture marks on my skin around the ankle and blood leaking from them. A little ways off, I heard a hissing sound, which caused me to seek out the source, but all I found was the end of a tail slithering into the bushes.

“Are you okay?” asked Kari. “What’s wrong?”

“Something just bit me,” I muttered. “Might have been a snake.”

“We need to have you checked for poison,” she said. “I’ve heard all the snakes in the Endless Desert are poisonous.”

There were many poisonous creatures in the desert, so I was well-aware of her valid point. We were just about to head back to the caravan, which had antidotes to many types of poisonous creatures, when a loud cry suddenly shook the two of us.

We looked up and found several figures cresting the sand dunes. Their upper bodies resembled men and women, but the lower half of their bodies were those of snakes. Skin shifted into scales around their hips, which extended into an 8 or 9 meter long tail. All of them had dark skin, dark hair, and wore no clothing. Their naked bodies were covered in either hard muscles (the men) or soft curves (the women). However, while they didn’t have any clothes, they did carry spears and khopesh—a type of sickle-sword that was around 60 centimeters in length with a hook at the end.

“Those are Lamia!” one of the caravan members shouted. “They’re attacking!”

The Lamia were indeed rushing forward to attack the caravan, but Kari and I intercepted them. We appeared before the half a dozen Lamia within the blink of an eye. Their progression halted as they stared at us with wide eyes, but we were already attacking.

Kari leapt forward, thrusting her ranseur at the nearest Lamia. He dodged the attack by bending his body in a strange manner. Kari wasn’t deterred, and she quickly spun on the balls of her feet, turning her thrusting motion into a swift slashing attack. Her ranseur met the male Lamia’s khopesh with a loud clanging noise. Sparks flew as metal scraped against metal.

“Heh heh.” The male Lamia grinned as his tongue flicked out of his lips. “Now you’re a cute one. I’ve never seen a woman with such light skin before. I think I’ll take you home with me and make you my pet.”

“Sorry,” Kari apologized in a cold voice, “but you’re not my type.”

Before the Lamia could retort, Kari stomped on the ground, took two steps forward, and channeled her Spiritual Power. A small light appeared on the tip of her ranseur. Kari danced. As she moved her spear, the light turned into six orbs that hovered in the air. She made another swing of her ranseur, and then the six orbs flashed forward, slamming into the Lamia before he could get away. Six holes appeared on his chest, arms, shoulders, and head. His body swayed, and then he crumbled to the ground, never to get up again.

The death of one of their own seemed to have angered them. Several of the female Lamia slithered over to Kari, but I blocked their path. I had no weapon. However, as I channeled Spiritual Power through my body, I swung my fist and unleashed a bolt of lightning that slammed into one of the snake people. A loud scream tore from the woman’s throat as my lightning fried the inside of her body. Arcs of pale blue energy crackled all over her, skittering along her flesh.

Now that she was paralyzed, I created a spear and prepared to throw it, but another Lamia blocked my path before I could do anything. She thrust her spear, forcing me to dodge. By that point, the spear in my hand was already formed, so I threw it at this woman. This one must have been smart. She avoided my spear instead of letting herself get attacked by it. However, those precious seconds it took her to dodge were precious seconds I used for my next move.

I gently touched my foot on the ground. Spiritual Power flowed to my feet as I was launched forward. I narrowed my eyes as I moved swiftly, trying to control the flow of my power and not push myself too far. My goal was to attack the Lamia who’d attacked me. That said, I ended up overshooting my goal.

Despite not meeting my goal, I did appear before one of the other Lamia. I thrust my lightning spear forward before they could realize I was there. My spear pierced the creature’s chest, causing them to shriek in agony. Lightning burst around them, smoke and blood poured from his ears as his insides were destroyed. When the lightning spear vanished, the energy used to create it spent, the Lamia I’d killed had a large hole in the center of his chest. He fell back with a thud.

There were only four Lamia left. Two men and three women. All of them appeared quite surprised by how me and Kari had been able to kill two of their numbers so easily.

“Do not go easy on them!” one of the Lamia hissed, a young man with a well-built upper body. “They are Spiritualists!”

The words had a great effect on the remaining Lamia. All of them opened their mouth and shot out some strange liquid that sizzled when it touched the ground. We knew not to let their attacks hit. That stuff could obviously melt through our flesh and probably even our bones.

They attacked in twos now, double-teaming Kari and I while the caravan was hurriedly getting ready to leave. I wove around numerous sword and spear attacks. However, it seemed that wasn’t the only thing I needed to worry about.

“Whoa!”

I released a shocked cry as an ethereal green serpent shot from the hand of the Lamia I was facing. It struck out with its mouth wide open, but I dodged by sidestepping it, and then I aimed a punch at its body. My fist was covered in lightning as I swung. The straight jab struck the ethereal snake and caused it to burst apart. However, that was not the only Spiritual Technique I needed to worry about.

Several more ethereal snakes leapt out from the surrounding desert. They must have been made when I wasn’t looking. Each one attacked with zeal, but I continuously danced around their attacks, destroying the ethereal snakes with accurate and powerful punches. The lightning coating my fists helped demolish them.

A glance at Kari showed me that she was also doing well. In fact, she was doing even better than I was. She swung her ranseur around her body, twisting it around like she was dancing. Wherever her ranseur past afterimages appeared. The ethereal snakes and other attacks were cut apart underneath her onslaught.

I decided to take the fight to my opponents. Doing what I did before, I placed my foot on the ground and channeled Spiritual Power into it—or I tried to. For some reason, my Spiritual Power had become sluggish and unresponsive. I took a step forward as though to attack, but then my limbs suddenly became heavy. I blinked several times as my vision blurred out of focus. I thought I saw one of the snake woman smiling.

“It looks like the poison is taking effect,” one of them said. “Since we have lost two of our numbers, we cannot leave empty-handed. Let’s take the male and go.”

The two snake woman appeared before me and lashed out with their powerful tails. With my sluggish body and Spiritual Power, I was unable to avoid their attacks and was struck in the chest. A brief but sharp pain slammed into me. I thought I heard someone screaming. Then I struck the desert sands and everything descended into darkness.

***

Sweat ran down my body in thick rivulets, soaking into my weighted clothes. My breathing was heavy. Each breath that left my mouth was a ragged gasp as my shoulders heaved up and down. Despite the exhaustion I felt, the intense ache of my muscles as I threw a series of punches and kicks at a blistering pace, I did not stop for anything.

It was the day after the successful auction. I didn’t work at the library until this late afternoon. I had the closing shift. The sun was high in the air, showing that it was still the middle of the afternoon, which meant I had plenty of time.

I’d been at this clearing all day, the same clearing that Fay and I used to train. Sweat flew off my fists as I threw a series of punches, expelling the air in my lungs at the same time as I rotated my torso, putting all my weight into each strike.

I shuffled forward two steps, threw a punch, and then a kick, pretending my shadow was my opponent. Shadow sparring was how I’d heard it referred to, though I couldn’t remember who called it that. My feet scuffed against the ground, shifting gravel, drawing patterns in the dirt. I raised my left leg, spun around, and launched a heel kick at my make believe foe.

Stomping my foot back on the ground, I took two steps forward, tucked my arms into my torso, and then thrust them forward. Air burst from my palms, scattering dust and leaves that were kicked up from the ground. It wasn’t Spiritual Power that did it. It was simply a combination of the incredible weight on my arms and my own strength.

Breathing in deeply, I straightened my body and lowered my hands to my sides. With my shoulders heaving, I looked up at the sun and realized it was much further down than the last time I checked.

“Ugh… I spent longer sparring than I should have. I’ll just barely make it to the library after washing up.”

There was a small pool of water a few minutes walk from this area. It wasn’t large, but I could at least use it to clean my body before getting changed into my regular clothes. I took one look at the empty clearing and hurried over to the pool.

Fay hadn’t come today.

I wasn’t surprised by her absence after what happened the other day, and in fact, I was expecting it. Despite how I’d only spoken the truth, I still felt awful. It was very possible that I had ruined our friendship with my callous words.

After washing off and getting dressed, I walked to the library and wondered to myself if I could have somehow avoided the situation yesterday. I couldn’t think of anything. The moment Stelys had opened his mouth to talk about me and Fay getting married, the choice was taken out of my hands. I had to let them know the truth. Leading Fay on would have been undeniably cruel. It was better to hurt her now than to keep her hope alive and let her suffer an even greater pain later.

I sighed and rubbed my chest. The pain I felt wasn’t physical, but it felt like it was.

Upon reaching the library and relieving Ms. Nadine, I began working to keep myself from remembering the desolate expression on Fay’s face when I admitted to being in love with someone else. I put away books, helped people find books, and cleaned everything even when it wasn’t needed. So long as I was keeping busy, I wouldn’t have to think about it.

“Eryk?” a voice came from behind me.

I stiffened only for a moment before turning around.

Kari was wearing a pale pink dress with off the shoulder sleeves, though she had thrown a cloak over the top to cover her shoulders. The dress was a bit short, stopping at around the middle of her thighs, but she was also wearing white stockings. A small gape of space between the stockings and dress revealed her porcelain skin. Her outfit was finished with boots that were laced up at the front.

“Kari…”

“What’s wrong?” asked Kari as she stared at me, tilting her head.

“It’s—”

“Not nothing.” I stopped talking when Kari interrupted me, a smile curling her lips. “I think I’ve known you long enough by now to know when something is bothering you. I called out to you for six whole minutes and you didn’t respond. Whatever is upsetting you isn’t nothing.” Her eyes softened as she looked at me. “Will you tell me about it?”

I hesitated to tell her about what was bothering me, which would likely involve her discovering my feelings. The two of us were getting along great. We were definitely friends. That said, I didn’t know how she would take to learning about my love for her. When did Kari fall in love with me the first time around? I didn’t know. Once she told me about her marriage, I had broken down and kissed her, and I knew she loved me then, but that was after six months of us getting to know each other. Barely a month and a half had passed this time. Did she have feelings for me now, or should I wait until I was certain she loved me back?

“I…”

“If it’s too hard, I don’t mind waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell me,” Kari said when she saw me struggling. “But… I do hope you will tell me sometime. You’ve done so much for me. I would like it if I could do something for you.”

As she stared at me with that tender expression and those earnest blue eyes, I felt my will to resist crumbling. I could only sigh to myself. There had never been a day where I could tell Kari no… and I had actually tried to at least once or twice.

“We can talk upstairs,” I said softly.

Kari’s eyes widened, but then she nodded, grabbed my hand, and began pulling me toward the staircase amidst the eyes of everyone present. She dragged me over to a long table near the back of the second floor. After pushing on my shoulders to make me sit down, she adjusted her cloak and dress before sitting beside me.

“What’s bothering you, exactly?” asked Kari.

Perhaps it was my imagination, but Kari seemed a little too enthusiastic about listening to my woes. Not that I was going to complain. I was touched. Really.

I released a deep gust of air. “My friend’s father recently suggested that she and I get married.”

“WHAT?!” Kari shouted as she stood up and slammed her hands onto the table. I gawked at the girl, whose face had gone red as her eyes widened in shock. She seemed to realize she’d lost her composure. Coughing into her hand, she sat back down, tried to recompose herself, and, in a much softer voice, said, “I mean, I had no idea there was even someone you were thinking of marrying.”

“There’s not,” I stated in a flat voice. “The girl’s father was the one who made the suggestion, not me.”

“Oh… right.” Kari’s pretty face turned a light shade of pink. “So, you don’t want to marry this girl?”

Shaking my head, I used the single second that action took to compose my thoughts before speaking. “It’s not that I don’t find her appealing, or that I wouldn’t marry her. I think… if my circumstances had been different, I probably would have accepted the offer. She’s a great person, attractive, and I really admire and respect her… but I can’t marry her.”

“Why not?” asked Kari, biting her lip and clutching her dress.

“Because I’m in love with someone else.” I wondered if it was a bad idea for me to stare at her, but when I confessed this secret, my eyes were unwavering as I gazed into Kari’s. Her own eyes were quite wide.

“O-oh…”

“Yeah.” I gave her a mirthless, self-deprecating smile. “My friend is currently going through a hard time. Someone is trying to force her family to marrying her off as the Second Wife to the heir of their family. I think her father suggested this because he knew she liked me, and if we were to become engaged, he could safely stop them from pressuring him into marrying her off without insulting anybody. But I can’t do that. If she and I were to marry, it would just be trading one loveless marriage for another.”

I grew silent as I thought about what would happen if Fay and I got married. It would be no better than if she married Grant Leucht. The idea of letting Fay marry a person who didn’t share the same feelings for her repulsed me, perhaps even more so because the person I was thinking about when I envisioned this was me. I just… couldn’t do that to her.

“Do you… really not love this girl?” asked Kari.

After giving Kari a frown, I opened my mouth to tell her that of course I didn’t love Fay, but just before the words passed my lips, I stopped. Slowly closing my mouth, I questioned my own feelings. Kari watched me silently, a somewhat forlorn smile on her face.

“Even if I did have feelings for her, I still couldn’t be with her.” I spoke slowly, thinking carefully about each word before saying them. This was important. “The fact is that no matter what I feel for her, there is someone out there who I love far more.” I was staring at Kari again. “I love this girl more than life itself. My life is not complete without her in it, so even if I do feel something, I can’t possibly reciprocate my friend’s feelings.”

Kari was staring at me with an expression of dawning comprehension. I was speaking pretty heavily now, and I hadn’t removed my gaze from her at all, so I’m pretty sure she finally realized exactly who it was that I loved.

Turning her head toward the table, Kari remained silent for a moment, her cheeks glowing like a Spiritual Fire Technique. I wanted to turn away, but I didn’t. Even though I was frightened by her reaction, by what she might say, I continued to gaze at Kari without letting my eyes wander.

“This girl you love so much… what is she like?” Kari asked.

“She’s a breathtakingly beautiful girl with blond hair that are like threads of gold and the purest blue eyes I’ve ever seen,” I began, humoring her. “No matter what she wears, whether it’s a cloak covering her whole body or a glittering gown made of woven gold, she never fails to leave me breathless.” Kari looked like she wanted to hide in her shirt. I kept talking. “She’s fascinated with adventure books and wants to travel the world, exploring ruins and seeking out new things. However, her family is very strict and won’t let her leave Nevaria. I love talking about stories and adventures with her. Also…” I hesitated. “She’s very strong. She’s stronger than anyone I know.”

I was laying it on pretty thick, I knew that. However, I couldn’t keep these feelings contained now that I was talking. I’d been doing that for over 90 days now. One and a half months of keeping my mouth shut was painful, and now that we had reached this point, I couldn’t contain them for another second.

“I… I don’t think this girl you like is all that strong,” Kari mumbled, her ears burning. “If she was, then she would have escaped from her family to go on adventures a long time ago.”

“That isn’t true.” In an act of boldness, I reached out and placed my hand over the delicate, pale hand resting on the table. Kari jumped in shock, but she didn’t jerk her hand away. “She is very strong, so much stronger than she gives herself credit for. She hasn’t realized her own strength yet, but one day she will, and when that day comes, I plan on going with her to explore ruins and seek adventure.”

“E-Eryk…” Kari’s eyes were glowing as she looked into mine. I’d often described her eyes as gemlike, and that was because whenever she felt strong emotions, her eyes would become vibrant and sparkle.

“I’m not… going to ask you to return my feelings,” I said after I caught myself becoming captivated. I looked away because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to keep talking. “I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

Kari looked at my face, then down at my hand, which was still covering hers. One second passed. Then she raised her other hand and put it over my own.

“I don’t think you need to worry about me not returning your feelings,” she admitted in a shy voice, like speaking those lines embarrassed her.

A strong warmth grew within my chest. It appeared near my heart and spread to the rest of my body, quickly encompassing me in a sensation I hadn’t felt in decades. At the same time, along with this indescribable happiness was a feeling of guilt. It gnawed at me from the inside. However, there was nothing I could do about that. I suppose this was just something I would have to live with.

As Kari looked back at me, a tentative smile appearing on her face, I smiled back—and then I noticed several people hiding near the staircase.

“Do you people have nothing better to do?!” I snapped, causing Kari to turn around and look at the people spying on us. The moment she saw them, a squeak emitted from her mouth as she yanked her hands from mine. Unfortunately, she pulled too hard, which caused her to fall off the bench and onto the floor. It all happened so fast I didn’t even have time to grab her.

Thunk!

“Owch!”

I glanced down at Kari as she held the back of her head and released several piteous moans. The people spying on us quickly scattered. I heard their footsteps as they rushed down the stairs. At that moment, Kari leapt to her feet. Her face was so red I was surprised it hadn’t burst into flames.

“I-I’m going to go now!” Before I could say another word, she rushed toward the stairs. However, just before she was about to leave, she paused to turn back and smile at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

With those parting words, she ran down the stairs. I stared at the spot where she left. I wondered if the expression on my face looked as confused as I felt.

That conversation… worked out well, right?

***

Stelys stared at the door that led to his daughter’s bedroom. He wore a heavy frown as he tried to figure out what he should do? Knocking didn’t work. He’d already tried that and received no response. Did that mean he should break the door down?

“Fay?” he asked. “Are you in there?”

… There was no response. Of course there wasn’t. He’d already called out to her and got a similar non-response several times.

He growled under his breath. “Fay, if you do not answer this door, I swear on our ancestors’ graves that I will break this door down.”

Nothing happened at first, and just when it looked like he would have to go through with his threat, the sound of feet thudding against carpet echoed from the other side. A soft clicking sound let him know the door was unlocked. It pulled back seconds later, revealing his daughter.

Fay had seen better days. Her eyes were rimmed with red, her nose looked a little raw from rubbing it too much, her red hair was in disarray, and it looked like she hadn’t changed out of her nightgown since she put it on last night. She’d been in her room ever since they returned home the other day. She hadn’t even come down for dinner last night, breakfast, or lunch.

“Have you been lying in bed all day?” Stelys asked.

“Maybe.” Fay shrugged. “Does it matter?”

Stelys rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that. Look, I’m sorry I opened my big mouth, but you shouldn’t let something like this get you so worked up. If you allow yourself to get depressed because Eryk rejected you once, how are you ever going to win his affection?”

“What do you mean win his affection?” asked Fay. “Didn’t you hear him? He said he is in love with someone else. Whoever this girl is, she must obviously be extraordinary. Otherwise he wouldn’t love her. I’ve spent over a month with him, and I know how dedicated he is. There’s no way I could ever replace this person in his heart.”

“Who said you had to replace her?” asked Stelys, shrugging. “No one ever said anything about you replacing this girl he’s so fond of.  Besides, are you really okay just letting him go like this? If you are, then that’s fine. However, if he means so little to you that you aren’t even willing to fight for him, then you shouldn’t be sulking around in your room all day.”

Fay’s lips had turned downward. Stelys felt his heart ache just a bit. That frown of hers was so much like her mother’s that he couldn’t help but feel some pain in his chest. This task, talking to Fay while she was depressed over a boy, should have been Stella’s.

“Anyway…” He scratched his head, feeling awkward. “That’s all I came here to say. Dinner will be ready soon, so I expect you to freshen up and and come down to eat with everyone. With the successful auctioning of the A-rank Spiritual Technique and alchemy pills, it’s been decided that the whole family is going to celebrate.”

Stelys wished he could say something else, something more profound that could help his daughter out of her funk. That was what a parent should have done. But he had never claimed to be the best of parents. He didn’t know what to say during moments like this. Outside of business, the only thing he knew how to do was swing an ax.

“… I’ll be down in a little bit,” Fay said in a soft voice.

Not quite sure what else he should say, or if he needed to say anything more, Stelys nodded and turned around. He walked toward the staircase. He paused only for a second to look back at Fay, who was still standing in the doorway of her bedroom. That destitute expression on her face was something he’d seen a lot more recently, but it had never torn at his heart as much as it did now. He turned around again and walked down the stairs.

Do you think I gave her good advice, Stella?