Dang, That's A Pretty Sweet Car That Just Ate My Butt - (Classic Tingler Revisited)

living objects are important part of this tingleverse and beautiful sportscar is classic way we all know of gettin our motor revved up. today is release of ladybuck on ladybuck volume 2 collection as audiobook so seems like good time to give one of these stories from this collection to patreon buds. picked this tale because it falls in line with something old chuck has been thinking on a lot lately which is APPEALS TO COMMON SENSE which in ironic way MAKE NO DANG COMMON SENSE.

this seems to be common defense of conservative devils sayin ‘my argument doesnt need to be explained dont talk with all that fancy science i have COMMON SENSE’ and really this is just excuse to say ‘kinda seems this way is true and thats all i want to look into it’

point is use HUMAN BEINGS arent that great at seeing things objectively. our brains get clouded and swayed in all kinds of directions that we swear are the truth but are actually just a little funhouse timeline mirror to make us want what we want. sometimes COMMON SENSE tells us things that seem perfectly true but can get a lot of trouble brewing like ‘tilt your head back when you get a bloody nose’ NO BUCKAROO GET THAT BLOOD OUT OF YOU or ‘wait to file missing person report at least 24 hours’ NO BUCKAROO FIND YOUR BUD RIGHT NOW and on and on.

one of these little brain tricks is that bright colored cars get pulled over more even when going same speed and in tale of DANG, THAT’S A PRETTY SWEET CAR THAT JUST ATE MY BUTT this is explored. beautiful car cant help that she looks fast and maybe if you take a little time to think ‘maybe my perception is wrong here’ you could make a new bud or even get your butt eaten.

Jessica is a blogger who preaches the values of slowing down and taking it easy. Unfortunately, she’s having a hell of a time getting any work done as a loud and fast sports car continues to zoom by her house, shaking it to the very foundation.

Determined to but a stop to this racket, Jessica soon finds herself in a direct confrontation with the culprit, but looses her motivation when she realizes just how gorgeous and charming this cherry red living sports car actually is.

Now the two of them are on a journey to find the perfect middle ground between having fun and living responsibly, connecting in a carnal lesbian encounter and a climatic night of ass eating that will get your motor running!

This erotic tale is 4,100 words of human on sentient motor vehicle action and lesbian living car love.

(Originally released October 21, 2019)

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DANG, THAT’S A PRETTY SWEET CAR THAT JUST ATE MY BUTT

By Chuck Tingle

It’s strange to look back through your life and trace the paths that brought you to your destination, to understand the moments that shaped you into the person that you’d eventually become. Sometimes there’s an event or two that makes perfect sense, that lines up directly with an interest that would eventually grow into a career or a lifelong hobby. Typically, though, these moments just create a web that is damn near impossible to analyze.

What made me into me?

I’m a big fan of taking my time, something I never thought I’d say out loud but is the absolute truth. It’s probably hard to understand how this simple action, or lack of action, could develop into a full-blown business, but over the years it really has.

I now run a website, as well as several social media accounts, all based around the idea that less is more. My message is basically this: take it easy.

In this fasted paced world of quick cut movies and sound bite news, people resonate with the idea of taking your time on things. It doesn’t have to be every moment of every day, but giving yourself just a little bit of space can go a very long way.

I’m thinking about this as I sit my living room, staring at the blank sheet of paper before me, wondering if there’s any way I can put my own philosophy into action.

As the curator of my own website, I’m constantly in need of more content. The drive to constantly create is, by far, the most stressful thing in my life, but I also understand that it needs to be done.

I take a deep breath and let it out, closing my eyes for a moment as I attempt to dig deep and pull forth some brilliant idea. The world is full of infinite things, after all, so coming up with one simple concept for a blog post shouldn’t be that hard.

What are the various ways to take it easy? How can the average person slow down even more?

There are a few kernels of an idea popping up here and there, but I’m not entirely satisfied with their genesis. It’s just one of those days where nothing seems to be very inspiring.

Suddenly, however, all of that changes. Like a flash of lighting, a brief concept for an article strikes me like a lightening bolt. I actually sit up straight, trying my best to grab onto this fleeting moment as it hovers in the air before me.

Before I have a chance to scribble anything down, however, something else happens. A loud roar erupts from the street outside, literally shaking the windows of my house. It’s so brash that I actually jump a little bit, startled enough to completely forget the moment of inspiration that just occurred.

I stand up and collect myself, realizing now that this is a problem I can’t just ignore. I head out the front door and into my yard, making my way down the walk with a head full of frustration and curiosity.

Unfortunately, along the way this cacophony of noise has only been getting quieter and quieter, fading into the distance. By the time I get to the street, whoever was making this racket has disappeared completely.

I glance over to see one of my neighbors working in his garden.

“Hey Bill,” I call over to him, waving.

“Jessica!” he replies, offering a kind wave in return. “How’s it going of there? You writing some articles for that blog of yours?”

“Yeah,” I respond instinctively, then suddenly shift gears. “Well, no, actually. I was about to get started but then I got a little distracted. Did you see what was making all that noise?”

“Sports car,” Bill offers in return. “She cruises down this street sometimes. Hard to miss.”
 “Oh yeah?” I question, growing more and more upset by the inconsiderate nature of this mysterious vehicle. “Always that loud?”

“Pretty much,” Bill confirms. “Got a hell of an engine on that thing.”
 “How fast was she going?” I continue. “Should we call the cops?”

“Well, she’s gone now,” Bill counters. “So I’m not sure how much good calling the police will do. Honestly, she’s probably not going that fast. Just looks faster than she is with that bright red paint.”

“I don’t like it,” is all I can think to say, making this blunt statement and then staring and Bill as I wait for his reaction.

“Yeah, it’s a little loud,” is all that he can offer in return. I can tell the man is not nearly as upset as I am about this, but all he has to take car of today is a little work in the garden. I need all of the concentration I can muster if this next blog post is going to be any good.

Eventually, I turn around and head back up the front walk towards my house. I close my eyes, reminding myself of all the well rehearsed personal mantras I have to draw from.

Just take it easy, I think to myself. Slow it down.

I get back inside and walk over to my kitchen table, sitting once more and taking my notepad into my hand. I struggle to remember exactly where I left off, to reconnect with this moment of inspiration that was so devastatingly interrupted, but I can’t. I’m suddenly at a complete loss.

Of course, I knew this was going to happen, which is why I was so frustrated in the first place. As a woman who finds great solace in the slow lane of life, I require a lot of space and time to get my creative thinking done. Anything that breaks that up is going to cause a lot of damage.

I gasp aloud as the thought hits me once more, surging like a lightening bolt from my brain to my body to my wrist to my pen. I begin to carefully scrawl out a few words across the page, getting my idea down while I still can. Everything is going quite well until, suddenly, it happens again.

The roar is deafening, causing my heart to skip a beat as it rattles through my home. Immediately, I spring to my feet and head for the door, opting the run instead of moving with my usual casual stroll. I sprint out of my house and down the front walk, but by the time I reach the street I find that the sports car is gone once again.

This time, however, at catch a slight glimpse of the vehicle’s cherry red body as it disappears around the distant corner, the freshly washed angles glinting under the brilliant sun above.

“Just missed her,” Bill informs me.

“I know, I know,” I blurt, frustrated. “She’s just too fast.”

Bill makes a pained face, as though he’s not exactly sure how to delicately express what he wants to deliver next, but is forcing himself to go for it anyway. “She’s really not going that fast,” Bill finally offers.

“It sure sounds like it!” I counter, frustrated.

“Yeah, it’s pretty loud,” Bill admits. “I’ll give you that. But the car’s not actually traveling over the speed limit. She looks faster than she is with that paintjob.”
 I just stare at the man blankly. “So what are you saying? That I’m too slow?”

Bill doesn’t reply, considering his words and then shrugging it off as he gets back to work in his garden.

I take a deep breath and let it out, calming myself down. I realize now that Bill is right in some respects. I’m definitely too slow if I want to catch this brazen sports car in the act, and no matter how quickly I hustle out of my house, by the time I get out here to the street she’ll be long gone.

If I’m going to give this vehicle a piece of my mind then I’ll need to be on the curb waiting for her.

Of course, I have no way of knowing when she’ll return, meaning this could take quite a while, but if the other option is just finding myself interrupted yet again when I try to get some work done, then this is what I’ll have to do.

Without another word, I stroll over to the side of the street and plop down onto the sidewalk.

“You waiting?” Bill calls over.

I nod.

As I sit here on the curb, the day slowly passes me by. Up above the sun creeps farther and farther into the west, until eventually it descends behind a distant clump of trees and casts me in a long, stretching shadow. The sky begins to transform, shifting from a pale blue to a deep indigo with splashes of brilliant orange that surge up through it.

It’s not long before Bill heads in and I’m left out here all alone.

The darker it gets, the more I consider heading in myself, but still there’s something keeping me here. I just know that the second I leave the car will come zooming by again, some cruel twist of fate that only an omnipresent author looking to generate humor or conflict could come up with.

Finally, I stand up and turn to make my way back up the front walk, but the second I do I catch the faint sound of someone approaching in the distance. It’s not yet dark out, but the sun is low enough that headlights are appropriate, and this is exactly what I see slicing through the evening towards me.

I take a deep breath and let it out, ready for confrontation. Plenty of vehicles have made their way down the street since I’ve been sitting here, and not one of them have sounded quite like this. By know, I’d know that rumbling engine anywhere.

As I wait, however, something strange happens. I can clearly see this red sports car in the distance, and it’s definitely headed my direction, but it’s taking quite a while to actually get here.

I narrow my eyes slightly, struggling to determine what exactly is going on. Is she just messing with me, or is this really the speed of the bright red sports car that has been so notoriously irritating?

I also notice that, regardless of how close she gets, and at whatever pace, her engine really doesn’t seem that loud. It’s definitely the same car, but in this late hour of the evening the brash roar from before has been subdued down into a gentle purr.

By the time the car finally arrives, I’m forced to admit that she’s actually not going very fast at all.

I’m still mad, though.

“Hey!” I cry out, waving her down.

The car slows and pulls over next to me, and for the first time I’m able to get a good look at just how beautiful she really is. The second I see this sentient living vehicle’s face I can feel my breath catch in my throat, completely blown away by her brilliant smile and large eyes. She gazes up at me with a playfulness that seems shockingly genuine.

It’s not just her face that startles me, though. I’ve never been much of a car girl, but it’s hard to not be impressed by the perfectly crafted body of this cherry red two-seater. I don’t know enough in this arena to even pick out her make and model, but that really doesn’t seem to matter. It’s clearly built for speed.

“Hey there,” the car offers. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

I suddenly realize how strange it is to be running out into the middle of the road and waving down a vehicle this time of the evening. “Oh yeah,” I stammer. “I’m fine.”

“Oh, alright then” the sports car replies, a little confused.

“Wait, actually,” I continue, struggling to collect myself after being completely thrown off by the vehicle’s beauty. “I’m not fine, I need to have a word with you.”

“About what?” questions the car.

“About your speed,” I state firmly, trying my best to seem like a bad ass and only slightly making my mark.

“My speed?” she asks, even more confused now. “I wasn’t going very fast.”

“Are you kidding me?” I blurt. “I’ve been trying to write all day and every time you drive by it rattles the whole house! You’re flying!”

Something clicks within the mind of the sports car, the expression upon her face changing slightly as a look of recognition washes over her. “Oh, alright,” she replies. “You meant earlier today.”

I nod. “Exactly. Tonight you were going… a reasonable speed.”

The cherry red car smiles. “Yeah, I try to keep it down after hours. My engine can get pretty loud.”
 I open my mouth to keep complaining, but it suddenly hits me just how wrong I’d been about this gorgeous motor vehicle. I’d pictured her as reckless and wild, flying up and down the block without a care in the world and making everyone else’s life miserable, but she’s really not all that bad. In fact, she’s actually very sweet.

“Well, you’re right about today,” the car continues. “I was in a hurry so I was rolling about five over the limit.”
 “Five!” I blurt. “No way!”

“I was!” the sentient vehicle insists.

I shake my head. “There’s no way you’re that loud going five over.”
 The car smirks a bit, not in a rude way, but with a genuine playfulness.

This conversation could’ve easily gone south in this moment, but instead we’ve turned our disagreement into a fun back and forth. We’re almost giggling at this point, overtaken by something that was completely unexpected but wholly welcome.

“What’s your name?” the sports car asks me.

“Jessica,” I reply. “You?”

“Krinta,” she offers. “Well, Jessica. I’d love to show you just how loud I can get going five over, but I don’t want to wake anyone up. So unless you wanna take a ride out to the edge of town, I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

My eyes light up as she says this. “To the edge of town?” I question. “That sounds like it might be fun. We can’t go too fast, though.”

Krinta laughs. “I already told you, we’re only going five over the limit.”
 I have to admit, as a very slow person who has preached the values of taking it easy, my first instinct is to pull away from this whole situation. However, something much more powerful is pushing me forward, imploring me to get closer and closer to this beautiful red sports car. There’s something about Krinta that I simply can’t deny, a hold that she has on my attention, and maybe more.

“Okay,” I finally offer. “Let’s take a ride.”
 Krinta grins sweetly and then pops open her door, allowing me to climb into the drivers seat.

As I said before, I’m not a car girl, but it’s hard to deny just how exhilarating it is to be sitting here at the steering wheel, even if I’m not going to use it. This vehicle is just as breathtaking on the inside as she is on the outside, clean and luxurious with white leather seats and an enormous digital readout.

I put on my seatbelt and the next thing I know Krinta is taking off into the night.

“Hey!” I blurt, suddenly flooded with alarm. “I thought you were gonna take it slow at first!”

The beautiful red sports car laughs. “I am, you’re just so low to the ground that it seems a lot faster.”

As we continue onward I try my best to relax, but I can’t help gripping tightly onto the armrest as my body tenses up. I take a deep breath and let it out, struggling to stay calm. I’m not used to this.

“It’s okay,” Krinta coos soothingly. “You want me to give you a massage?”

“These are massage chairs?” I question.

“Not usually,” the sentient vehicle counters, “but for you I’ll make an exception.”

“That sounds really nice,” I admit, then settle back into the seat.

Moments later I can feel the car seat moving up and down across my back, pushing into me at just the right pressure points and then releasing before it becomes to much. Krinta is really, really good at this, and before long I’ve found myself completely relaxed.

Of course, it’s not only relaxation that overwhelms me. I’ve also suddenly found myself incredibly horny, aching with arousal as I give in to the sensual touch of this beautiful living car. It’s hard to believe this is actually happening, that the sentient vehicle could so quickly go from an enemy, to a friend, to something more.

“That feels so good,” I begin to groan, but as the words exit my mouth I find that they’re immediately drowned out by the sound of Krinta’s motor.

Suddenly, I’m absolutely horrified. We’re no longer on the suburban streets, but out on the edge of town where the living car is free to let loose. I think about screaming for her to slow down, but then I glance over at the speedometer.

We’re not actually going that fast. Krinta is just really loud and really low.

Eventually, we slow down and pull over to the side of the road. I realize now that we’ve arrived at a beautiful lookout point, high over the city lights and gazing down on the twinkling scene below.

“Whoa, you do get really loud,” I admit. “You weren’t even going that fast.”
 “Yep,” Krinta replies, a little defeated. “People think I’m some crazy speed demon just because I’m painted red and I’m really loud, but I like to go slow sometimes, too. I mean, it’s fun to let loose every once in a while, but that’s not who I am all the time.”

“I’m sorry I thought that,” I offer.

“It’s okay,” Krinta replies. “I wish I wasn’t built so loud, but that’s just me.”
 I run my hand back and forth across her steering wheel soothingly. “It’s okay,” I offer, surprising even myself. “From here in the driver’s seat, it’s actually kinda fun.”

“Really?” the living car questions.

“Really,” I confirm.

I can feel Krinta’s hands starting to explore my body now, the massage gradually transforming into much, much more.

“Yes,” I sigh, the single word spilling out of my lips and filling the car’s interior with a long hiss. “I want more.”
 I can feel Krinta’s seat slipping up my skirt a little more, her hand making it’s way slowly towards my most sensitive area. The closer she gets, the more I begin to tremble, and when she finally touches me I let out a loud, satisfied groan.

“Oh fuck,” I offer, biting my lip as I fall back into the seat.

Krinta immediately gets to work rubbing my clit, starting slowly at first and then gaining speed. Her fingers begin to swirl around me, moving back and forth in a perfectly timed rhythm. The living car continues like this for a long while, until I’m practically begging her for more.

At this point she finally caves, still working my clit with one finger but slipping two more digits within my pussy. I begin to pump my hips along with her, falling into sync with this erotic pulse as wonderful sensations flow through my body. Deep in the pit of my stomach I can feel a powerful tingle beginning to blossom, slowly filling me up.

I crave so much more, to gather up all the incredible erotic feelings I can and devour them whole, but in this moment of carnal bliss I’m also struck with just how much I want to give in return. I need for Krinta to feel the way that I do, yearn for her to experience this bountiful pleasure along with me.

“I want to lick you,” I suddenly groan, the words bubbling up out of my mouth unexpectedly.

The sentient car stops, giggling playfully. “Sounds good to me. Why don’t you get out and head around back.”
 I unbuckle my seatbelt and climb out of the car, stripping away my clothing as I saunter around to the rear of the vehicle. I peel away each article piece by piece, tossing it to the side casually as I reveal my body to the cool night air.

I can tell that something about Krinta’s fun-loving attitude has rubbed off on me, taking my slow and quiet nature and pulling me somewhere closer to a middle ground. At the same time, I can also tell the living car has become more sensual with me than she usually would be with a new lover, experiencing her own deep internal shift.

When I finally arrive behind the car I drop down to my knees and find exactly what I’m looking for, her beautiful pussy glistening and wet in the cool light of the moon. I don’t hesitate, diving in and getting to work as I lap away at her. I start with a series of long drags of my tongue, then eventually evolve my work into short and quick movements across her clit. This seems to be exactly what Krinta was looking for, because the purr of her motor soon begins to grow louder and louder.

“Oh my fucking god, oh my fucking god,” the gorgeous vehicle begins to repeat, the blissful mantra spilling out of her over and over again. I can tell she’s getting close to a mighty climax, and I keep my pace until suddenly she erupts in a frantic explosion of carnal screams.

Krinta is beside herself with pleasure, utterly lost in an ocean of sensation as she quakes wildly. Her engine is roaring now, but there’s nobody around for miles to hear it. Even if there was, I wouldn’t care. Right now, all that I’m focused on is this powerful, loving connection with a car that I first thought was devastatingly annoying, but now realize is pretty sweet.

Finally, Krinta finishes, but she doesn’t need a rest. She’s more excited than ever to return the favor.

“Get around to the front,” the beautiful sentient car commands, taking charge of the situation.

I do as I’m told, standing up and strolling around the car. When I make it to the hood I face away from Krinta, then climb down onto my knees yet again. I pop my ass out towards her seductively, wiggling my rump from side to side as the gorgeous motor vehicle looks on with lustful excitement.

“Get over here and eat this pussy,” I command.

Krinta laughs. “Just your pussy?”

At first I’m not even sure what this means, but seconds later it dawns on me and causes my eyebrows to raise. “Oh!” I blurt.

“Is that a yes?” the beautiful vehicle questions, rolling forward a bit as she gets into position.

Krinta’s face is now directly behind me, just waiting for my approval.

“Why not,” I finally reply. “That sounds really nice.”

With that, the living car dives in. The next thing I know, Krinta is licking me confidently, her tongue diving deep into my butthole.

I’ve never felt this sensation before, but I quickly find it to be incredibly pleasant. It’s not exactly the same kind of satisfaction that I get out of directly rubbing my clit, but it’s still a lot of fun and it certainly makes me feel a little dirty.

The second Krinta begins to finger me at the same time, however, all bets are off.

Suddenly, the way this living car eats my ass has me trembling hard, hurtling towards the edge of a powerful orgasm at a breakneck pace. Krinta is licking away with everything she’s got, and suddenly all of her hard work is paying off as a mighty climax rips through my form.

I throw my head back and let out a frantic, unbridled scream, completely losing myself in the moment as pleasure floods through me. It’s so much that the first instinct of my body is to pull away, but I push back against this, carrying myself through and allowing myself to feel every glorious second.

When I finally finish, I collapse onto the ground, panting with exhaustion.

Seconds later, Krinta is rolling over to me, the two of us catching our breath as we enjoy the glorious city lights that extend across the landscape before us.

“Okay, maybe I could use a little more speed in my life,” I admit.

“And maybe I could slow down a bit,” Krinta chimes in.

I want to see her again after tonight, but I know that I don’t even have to say it. Right now there’s something truly special in the air, and as Krinta’s motor hums next to me, there’s no sound I’d rather hear.