Here are a Bunch of Photos of the Side of My Face :)

All right;

so today's shoot didn't quite work out for capturing my full-blown vision of 'Celtic goddess' (though I have some photos to come that embody the vibe) ...

Creating kind of works like that. For me, anyways. It unfolds organically, much as I try to impose a vision. 

Between the cold and rain, I ended up shooting indoors.

And, this is where I landed.

Profile photos.

You know why?

Because, for so long, I loathed my profile.

- - -

I have anxiety-induced body dysmorphia, and I will hyper-focus on a particular aspect of my body (tends to be my facial features) and just obsess over how much I hate it. 

My profile has been the subject of that cruelty, again and again.

Particularly, my nose.

When I was younger, I used to look up Rhinoplasty surgeries all the time. 

Strange "nose-shaper" devices on Amazon.

I used to press the bridge of my nose, desperately wishing to have the straight nose that is the beauty standard of our time.

It's not that extreme anymore.

But it's still there, all the time.

I avoid posing in a way that captures my profile. 

So today, I realized.

The only way we are going to love the parts of ourselves that we have historically hated,

is for them to be seen. 

To fall in love with them. 

No matter how far outside of the social norm of beauty they are.

(SIDE NOTE, LITERALLY F•U•C•K THE SOCIALIZED BEAUTY NORMS THEY ARE BULL SHIT. A rant for another time.  😊)

So here I am. 

And, guess what?

When I see these photos, I see a strong, proud woman. 

I don't see a crooked nose,

or deficiency.

These photos were really healing for me to take.

Cheers to embracing and sharing our vulnerabilities. 

- - - 

Part of my work in modeling and just being a woman, is in embracing that which I have been taught is ugly, undesirable, disgusting, etc., 

because I want to be a role model for younger folks,

and help them on their journey to finding freedom through unlearning internalized social norms.

It is a huge reason why I have body hair.

I want young people (womxn, especially) to see that grown-ass women have body hair! 

I never saw any form of acceptance or love around body hair from the women in my life when I was young, and I wish desperately that I had. So I choose to be that. 

It's also a reason why I shamelessly speak about bleeding.

Because no one in my life talked about menstruation when I was growing up; and it is a beautiful thing. Nothing to be ashamed of. 

I want other women and young folks to see their noses—a huge hotspot in terms of how we judge attractiveness in this culture—and recognize them as beautiful. 

No matter whether or not you have a dorsal hump, or a big nose, or any of the other bull shit ways that we've toxically narrowed the qualifications for an 'attractive nose'. 

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

I LOVE YOU!

Embrace yoself hunnies.

Thank you for bein' here. 

Excited to share the other images I captured/am totally going to keep this trend up of self-creating during this isolation business. 

💓