BC Update

Bitter Confessions Update:

Hi All,

I wanted to give you an update on Bitter Confessions. Straight up, I didn't make as much progress as I hoped this month. 😩 I got bogged down in the beginning, and I think you can all see why. It's an ongoing, 7 chapter scene, and it needed major restructuring, a dialogue overhaul, and more fleshing out. This basically added another chapter’s worth of material. I'm still not happy with it—there are so many things I want to tinker with, but I know I can always do so once I get it back from the editor and do a final pass. It pains me to show stuff I’m not 100% set on, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!

I always underestimate how much rewriting I need to do. I think, “Oh, that chapter is pretty simple. It just requires a little touch up here and there,” but when I actually read it, I’m like, “Holy smokes! This needs to be completely rewritten. Where was I going with this?!” I guess when you go from a blank page to an actual scene, you’re proud of yourself, but when you look at the story as a whole, you see how you went off course or how you could improve/expand upon the initial idea, which is where rewriting comes in.

Rewriting is tedious, but it's always worth it. During the first draft, you're laying down intriguing ideas and topics. On the second and third passes, you're nixing or giving more dimension and perspective. It takes so much time, but the difference is massive. It's the difference between a decent read or a memorable one that evokes sharp imagery, thoughts, and emotion (good and bad).

I’ve revised around a third of the book so far—nowhere near what I hoped at this point. I originally thought I may just need another week or two in May, but I will definitely need more time. I am hoping my pace will pick up in the middle of the story since they’re more normal scenes/chapters and not the mountain of information I was trying to handle in the beginning. 😭 I still don't have a release date, but I’ll keep you all updated on my progress.

I already added so much more than I intended, which makes me wonder if this book will be close to Bitter Secrets 135k word count. I'm almost at 120k words, and I'm just 1/3 into rewrites and I know there were some scenes I needed to flesh out and a ton I wanted to add in the last quarter so… Yikes! 😬

I'm happy to see all the comments and activity. Don't be offended if I don't join in the discussion. I'm editing and trying my utmost not to get sidetracked, which I absolutely would if I spent my time reading the comments. Most of the questions will be answered in the course of the story, so feel free to talk amongst each other and speculate!

As a side note: I was just thinking about this the other day. Some of the OG’s may remember this, but the original manuscript of Bitter Secrets ended at this morning after scene. I intended to have the explosive bomb the night before and then continue/clarify the morning after all in the same book… 😳 I don’t really know how I figured that would work, but the reason it ended up in the next book is because Bitter Secrets was so long.

Can you imagine if I’d combined all this with the ending of Bitter Secrets?? We’d all be comatose. Of course, the initial scene was probably 5k words vs. the 30k words it is now. These chapters are incredibly draining to rake over and over again because of the emotional thread, the amount of information being discussed, and transitions between topics. You’d think I was writing a legal thriller or something with the number of notes I have. I’m constantly stopping to reference check the previous 2 books and even book 4 to make sure I’m giving the right sequence of info. Gah. I’m driving myself cuckoo, but I am making progress and that’s all that matters, even if it’s not as much as I would like. I’m just relieved that the opening sequence is behind me and I'm working on scenes that aren't as heavy.

Bitter Confessions Raw Draft Postings:

I post 4 times a week--Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, & Sunday @ 8am (PDT).

(This has been said in other posts, but just wanted to reiterate.)

You'll receive an email for every post and if you'd like to comment, join in the discussion, or use the chat, download the Patreon app!

This raw draft hasn't been seen by an editor, so you may see mistakes/errors and dialogue/scenarios that may be changed before publication since I'm still revising/mulling things over in my mind. Even after I get the manuscript back from the editor, I tend to make quite a few tweaks.

I'm breaking up the chapters into 1k+ word chunks because:

• I'm still editing, so I'm posting as I go

• My work isn't protected on Patreon

The last time I posted a raw draft on Patreon, the book was pirated. I think most pirates will be annoyed (hopefully dissuaded) if they have to copy dozens of mini snippets to make up the whole chapter. Also, because of this, I won't be posting the full draft, but those who are subscribed when the book goes live will receive the ebook the week of the official release!

For my Super Patrons: You will get the raw draft when I send to editor and the final along with the other patrons.

I still don't have a release date because once I'm done with revisions, BC will be sent to an editor and that takes 2-3 weeks for her to go through the manuscript. And I will do my final pass, which will take some time as well. So, all of that is still up in the air.

I hope you all enjoy. Thank you so much for supporting my work and coming on this journey with me! ❤️

Personal Update:

I did want to give an update on my mom since some of you have asked about her. For those who don't know, I took my mom out of a domestic violence situation and moved her and me back to the mainland from Hawaii in January. This was an unexpected, emergency move, which made 3 moves in one year for me (Washington, Hawaii, Oregon). This obviously has had a major impact on my productivity.

April 29th makes 3 months since we left. I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life. Supporting my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically has definitely taken a toll on me. She has good days and bad days and is starting to come out of the fog she’s been living in, but she has yet to make a move toward any concrete decisions. She was with my dad for 47 years and can’t decide if it’s easier to return to what she knows or if she can be independent for the first time in her life in her late 60s. She's been going to therapy and has made friends here, which helps.

This experience has been really eye-opening for me and puts into perspective what's really important. A healthy environment is key. Peace of mind is priceless. Knowing yourself and your limits and boundaries is vital. I notice kindness and appreciate it so much more since we’ve been going through a marathon of trials.

My family has completely shattered. I’ve been disowned, but I expected that. Whatever I wasn’t able to take when we left has been trashed, including some of my first books/writings… My dad is incredibly vindictive. I will probably have to change my name in the future to protect myself and my business. It’s been insane, to say the least. I’m trying to focus on the positive and just get through this rough season. It doesn’t help that some of my siblings support him and the abuse. I didn’t realize how dysfunctional my family was until now. I’m glad I’m in my mid-30s and not a teen or in my early 20s, where I may not have had the emotional or mental perspective to see things for what they are. I think I would have completely broken down. I still have bad days, but I have enough life experience to know it’ll pass, and I’m strong enough to see it through to the other side.

My sister, mom, and I agreed we would all go to therapy. I went to my first session and the counselor and I really clicked. I think she's going to help me work through a lot of things. It's one thing to believe you did the right thing, but it's nice to get confirmation about boundaries you're setting and examining a lot of beliefs that have been passed down. Strangely, I find a lot of parallels between my life and BC and was saying, "OMG my characters say this line: blah blah. That's like this." My therapist pointed out that I need to be kinder to myself. We're all doing the best we can and under incredibly difficult circumstances.

I'm honestly grateful I'm revising a book, not writing one. I don't know what the hell would come out of me while in this state. I’ve been getting emotionally drained on both sides—personally and professionally with Roth and Jasmine, but I knew it would lighten up once we got through the first couple of chapters.

Thank you for all your well-wishes and prayers! This has been one of the worst seasons of my life and some days, I feel like giving up, but my fighting spirit is too stubborn to give anyone that satisfaction so… Onward!

I’m looking forward to brighter days—which include the release of this book! I have a feeling my new season and the release of BC will coincide, so doing my best to get to that finish line! Wish me luck!