#1240 The Forest of Confusion 

We have arrived at the Forest of Lost Paths. 

When you say the Forest of Lost Paths, it has that classic ring to it—so familiar, so generic. Like the kind of dungeon name you see in every RPG at least once. 

And yet, here it is, unfolding right in front of us in all its glory. 

"Fo, fo, forest of lost pathsss.” 
“Come at us, Riiin.” 

My kids are clearly hyped. The dungeon energy is getting to them. 

“Hey… seriously, are you sure this is a good idea?” asks Momoko, sounding more anxious now. 

Huh? What do you mean? 

“I mean, this place is dangerous enough that the guild keeps tabs on it, right? Isn’t it kind of reckless to bring kids here?!” 

Ohh, she's worried about my children?  
What a kind-hearted young lady… I really appreciate that kindness. 

But in terms of danger, we're good! 
We, the parents, are here to protect them! The time when a creature shows its true strength is when it must protect its offspring! 

“I mean...I get that you’re ready to throw down if needed, but what happens if a monster actually shows up- Wait, IT’S HERE AAAAAAAHHH!” 

Welp. 
Just as Momoko shrieks, something bursts from the forest. 
A lizard. A huge one. 

Or more like a komodo dragon-knockoff of a monster. 

“Seriously?! I just said...! Fine, I’ll handle this one! You take care of the kids!” 

Holy Sword Slash! 

“Whaaaaat?!” 

A moonlight-like slash explodes from my holy sword and cleaves the giant lizard clean in half. 
I was fighting to protect, but man, that was a pretty ruthless first contact. May it rest in peace. 

“The threat was gone before I could even react?!” 

But no time to relax. A second wave comes charging out of the forest. 
More giant lizards.  
A bunch of them. 

Looks like they’ve got your classic monster temperament: evil, territorial, and aggressive. 
They're sprinting right at us like frilled lizards on a sugar high. 

But interestingly, they’re avoiding me, probably because I took down their buddy. 

“They’re heading your way, Platyyyy.” 
“Roger that~” 

Too bad for them. The direction they’ve chosen is, if anything, worse. 
Platy tosses one of her homemade explosive potions, and the lizards go flying like they just tap-danced through a minefield. 

“Whaaaaaaaaaat?!” 

Isn’t my wife so amazing? 
She’s a witch, so she can blow up or incinerate most monsters with her self-made potions. On top of that, she’s inherited sacred chant spells from her mother, chants powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with dragons or even Lifeless Kings. 

There are probably only a handful of beings in the world who could take her in a straight fight. 

And on top of that... 

“Dankuu Koga Kennn.” 
“Caging Prisonerrrr.” 

Junior and Norito leap in with their freshly learned special moves, mopping up the stragglers like seasoned warriors. 

The remaining lizards were already retreating, tails between their legs, though. 
My kids… might have a little too much kill intent.  
But hey, better to eliminate monsters now than let them hurt someone later. 

“…What are you people?” 

Just the Saint and his family.  

Now that it's clear there's no real danger here, let's go ahead and properly explore the Forest of Lost Paths! 
I’m looking forward to watching Momoko do her thing! 

“This is so awkward! Fighting with all of you watching, when you’re clearly stronger than me?! Is this also part of training to be an S-rank adventurer or something?!” 

Exactly! Top-tier adventurers always have eyes on them. You gotta get used to the pressure. 

“Fine! Then let’s do this! Let’s dive into the Forest of Lost Paths!” 

And with that, Momoko charges into the forest. 

“Dungeon or not, is it really okay to just run into the woods like that?” 

Platy raises a good point. 
Yeah, she’s probably going to get lost within seconds. 

*** 

But our concerns turn out to be totally unnecessary. Momoko is absolutely tearing it up. 

“SCREW YOUUUU, FOREST OF LOST PATHSSSSSSSS!!!” 

The moment she entered the forest, she blasted a flash of light from her holy sword, mowing down the surrounding monsters. 
Her fighting was like something out of a horror story, so brutal it felt borderline R-rated. I honestly wondered if it was too much for the kids to see. 

Before long, a massive lizard emerged from deeper in the woods and lunged at Momoko, seemingly mistaking her for food. 
But that was a serious miscalculation. 
If anything, it was the one who looked like a tasty bundle of experience points to Momoko. 

“Holy Sword Clean Cut!!!” 

A flash of holy light, and the mega-lizard evaporates into glittering ash. 

We did it! Quest complete! 

“Mission impoppableeee.” 
“She is the heart of outer space...” 

My kids give her the kind of admiration you usually see directed at stage heroes. 

…But Momoko herself looks troubled. 
What’s wrong? 

“Something’s off. That was way too easy.” 

Come again? 

“This dungeon’s flagged by the guild as a danger zone, right? But that was more like a two-star dungeon, tops. It was a cakewalk.” 

If someone as skilled as her says so… 

Then what’s going on? 
Is the real Forest of Lost Paths still hiding its true nature?  
Has it yet to reveal its final form? 

“Well, well, now... Visitors, way out here?” 

Just as we’re wondering, a passerby appears.  
Right on cue. 
Who lives out here? Still, locals know stuff. Let’s ask. 

“Excuse me, is this the Forest of Lost Paths?” 

Just to double-check. 

“Nah, this here’s the Forest of Confusion.” 

… 
Huh? 

This is the Forest of Lost Paths… right? 

“Nope. Forest of Confusion. Happens all the time. People mix 'em up.” 

Wait… 
Huh?! 

“The Forest of Lost Paths is way further in. Their names are a little similar, so newcomers always end up here first almost 100% of the time.” 

There’s a TRAP like that?! 

“Yup, and that’s not all. Around here we’ve got the Forest of Doubt, the Forest of the Astray, the Wandering Wood, the Forest of Hesitation, the Forest of Certainty, Mayoi’s Grove, and even the Mayonnaise Forest. You’ll be lucky to find the right one on the first try. No idea where y’all are heading, but keep your eyes open. Hohoho…” 

With that, the old local totters off. 

… 
We got lured into a name trap?! 
This is like Aoume Station for Aoumi Station! 

They set this up before you even enter the dungeon?! 
What a terrifying place…The real Forest of Lost Paths awaits!!! 

========== 

Dankuu kouga ken-weapon name of dancougar from dancouga: super god beast armor 
Caging prisoner-bastard!! Reference 
Heart of outer space: Gundam W reference 
wordplay on forest names explanation: they all start with “mayo” in japanese. The forest of lost paths is “mayoi,” while confusion is “mayowase.” things got a little lost in translation, especially when the local started naming all the other forest names.