#631 Dragon Bridal Training

Ciao, it’s me.

You know, me! The owner of the farm, Platy’s husband, and father of two kids.

We had just returned from the Mermaid Kingdom’s sumo tournament, but the next ruckus was already waiting for us.  

The whole dragon gang is here—Ardheg, Bloody Mary, Seidour, and former Geyser Dragon Al Gor.

“What’s going on?”

How come they’re here?

My intuition, which I’ve had for years, tells me that this is nothing but the beginning of trouble.

“Well... we’d like you to be our judge, Lord Saint.”

A judge?

What for?

“Um, to determine whether Mary is fit to be the Dragon Emperor’s empress?”

“Why the doubtful tone?”

Isn’t Mary Ardheg’s wife already?

Huh?

Not yet?

They’re in a delicate relationship where they’re more than strangers but less than lovers?!

What is this, a romance manga that insists on prolonging things because tying the knot would close the chapter on them for good?!

I’m already married myself, so that’s just unnecessarily tantalizing!

Just get married, geez!

“We will! He finally proposed to me, okay?! And I instantly said yes!” snaps Mary. 

Huh? What’s the problem, then?

You’re engaged, and everyone lives happily ever after.

“No, that would be boring, wouldn’t it?”

But it’s not?

In the first place, there’s nothing boring about a marriage proposal, is there?

If there’s any disturbance related to marriage, that’s just plain drama.

“But you know, there’s that. We came here to have you judge whether Mary is more suitable to be the Dragon Emperor’s wife.”

“You couldn’t even hide your true feelings that you’re amused by all this, could you?”

“Besides, dragons have never had the concept of a pair until now. That’s why we decided to come here to ask you humans, who have what you call ‘husband and wife,’ and teach them what it means to be like one.” 

“Can you um... tone down on the non-sugar-coated demands?”

Is that why you came to me?

As always, these dragons are oblivious to other people’s circumstances.  

I just got back from the sumo tournament, and I’d like to bathe Junior to recover from my exhaustion and brace myself for Norito’s colic.

I also have to prepare for our students’ graduation exams.

“I’m sorry! But this is something we can only turn to you for!” jumps Seidour.

What’s gotten into her?

“I’ve been thinking hard! What is a good wife? What is a good married couple? And the answer I came up with was you and your family, Lord Saint!”

“Um...! T-Thank you?!”

I’m embarrassed you think of us as the ideal couple.

“And I heard once that a good wife cooks delicious meals for her husband!”

Huh?

Somehow, that statement bothers me a little...

After all, I do all the cooking on our farm.

And the two keen hunters who come to eat the food are Veil and my wife, Platy.

“That’s why we want Sis Mary, the first bride in dragon history, to learn to cook for her beloved husband! And who better than the Saint to teach her how to do so!”

“Um, but don’t we already have the first-ever dragon bride...?”

Veil came to be my bride a long time ago, right?

You know what, never mind.

“Anyway, Sis Mary is all yours! Please teach her all about cooking! If she can’t master even one dish, her marriage with Lord Ardheg will be forfeit!”

“Please!!!”

Um... Seidour?

What authority do you have to decide whether they can get married or not?

And then, there’s Mary, the dragoness in question, all psyched up.

“Well, it’s not that I’m reluctant to teach you how to cook...!”

I know it’s too late to say this, but I like cooking too.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t be going out of my way to cook something new once in a while. 

But when the person I’m teaching is a dragon, we can’t ignore a certain someone.

There’s another person perfect for this situation.

“Hee-hee-hee! You’re unqualified to think you’re going to enter the path of the culinary dragon without me!”

There she is—Veil. 

Our farm’s most standard dragon. 

In a story where dragons are the main cast, how could she not be in it?

“Veil has had my cooking for so long that she started cooking herself. I’d say she’s the leading culinary dragon.”

“OOOOH!”

Everyone is surprised.

Go on, Veil. Show them what you’ve learned and can do. 

“Leave it to me! Try out Veil’s ramen noodles filled with 300 years of history!” 

That’s right.

She’s developed a passion for ramen for some time now.

I think she’s done more research on ramen than I have.

Why is it that ramen drags everyone into a rabbit hole?

“I’m going to show you the best ramen secrets I’ve developed after experimenting with ramen!”

Veil reverts to her dragon form and suddenly flies high into the sky!

“Whaaa?!”

“Where are you going, Veil? I thought you were going to cook!”

She zooms like a rocket that looks like it has nothing to do with cooking at a glance.

After some time, she disappears into the sky, her silhouette becoming smaller than a sesame seed until you couldn’t discern what she was doing. But then, she changed trajectory, suddenly reversing and becoming larger again.

A nosedive!

This time, Veil is approaching the ground like a meteorite in rapid descent!

At this rate, I thought she’d crash into the ground, and her dragon speed, mass, and heat value would leave a crater. Lo and behold, she transformed into her human form and made a smooth landing.

Zero damage to the ground.

But what on earth did she do?

“Heh-heh-he. Take a look at this!”

“W-What’s this?!”

A colander filled with ramen noodles?!

This is a tool often used by staff at ramen restaurants to scoop up noodles from the water.

However, there’s one more use for a colander other than to scoop the noodles...

Don’t tell me...?!

“You drained the hot water?! Was that the purpose of your full-speed dragon zoom and plunge?!”

“I knew you’d notice, Master. The taste of the finished ramen depends on how perfectly the hot water left on the noodles is drained off! That’s why we need a technique to lop off every drop of hot water left on its surface!”

That’s why you soared and swooped?

Dragons fly faster than the speed of sound. The gravity they exert removes the moisture from the noodles and seeps through the colander’s mesh!

And then, with an abrupt stop after the plunge, every last drop of water is flawlessly extracted!

This is a technique that only a dragon could have accomplished by using their power and skill to drain the water that is vital in making ramen noodles!

“I named this technique Ascending Dragon Drain after the fact that I, a dragon, discovered it!”

“That’s so cool!”

It sounds like something you’d hear at specialty ramen restaurants!

“There’s also the Tornado Whirlwind Drain based on the centrifugal force!”

“Ooooh!”

“Lastly, Ripple Drain! It uses dragon magic to give the noodles a slight vibration and uses that momentum to get rid of the liquid! Using these different draining techniques depending on the situation is what craftsmanship is all about!”

You’re incredible, Veil!

How are our dragon guests reacting after witnessing Veil’s craftsmanship...?!

“W-What is this...?”

“I absolutely have no idea what’s going on here...!”

They were as bewildered as they could be.

Well, I kind of anticipated that.

“Understandably, you’re all perplexed, but that’s because you’re amateurs now! As you learn and understand what ramen-making is all about, you will come to appreciate its profundity!”

“I’m not really down to understand all that...!” “I want to learn about cooking in general, not just ramen making...!”

In contrast to the bewildered Ardheg and Mary, some dragons were pretty impressed.

“Incredible! As expected of Sis Veil! You’re the worthy dragon to make a breakthrough in new grounds!”

“Bah, forget about if it’s interesting or not.”

Seidour is thrilled, and Al Gor, apathetic.

“Okay, let’s stop the demo and move on to the real deal. I’m gonna have you guys make ramen on the spot! I’m famous for my strict coaching!”

“Understood!” “If I can do this better than Sis Mary, maybe I’ll get to be the Gwynn Dragon!” “Time to put the pedal to the metaaaaaal!”

Huh? Who are they?

Before I knew it, numerous gorgeous ladies huddled in the makeshift kitchen to make ramen noodles.

Are they also dragons in their human forms? 

“These cursed homewreckers! Have they not given up yet?! I’m going to make the most delicious ramen to secure my position as Ardheg’s wife! Let’s do thisssssss!!!”

Seeing this, Mary was provoked.

I get that the dragonesses are competing to make ramen, but a question that would not go away remains in my mind.

...will ramen-making become part of bridal training?