july 2025 update: successful fundraiser!

hey! on the last update i mentioned we would be running a fundraiser to help me fix my home. well, the "goblin bunker TV" stream went surprisingly well and i'm currently in the process of slowly receiving the funds (paypal slows things down quite a bit). regardless, this marks the beginning of the end for this year-long arc of not being able to live in my own house. right now the goal is to spend that money on all the necessary paperwork and infrastructure so i can have my heating/gas/hot water back. unfortunately, this process will be slow and really annoying, so it's not like everything will be fixed within a week. i hope that things will go smoothly and that i won't have any "surprise bills" (fingers crossed). but we're already in the process of setting everything up!

oh yeah and i got sick again. remember that thing i said about "not being sure i was fully recovered"? well turns out i was right and i had a sequel. it was much worse this time and i was in EXCRUCIATING physical pain for several weeks. recovery took VERY long and i'm still having physical after effects. i had to change my diet and i was bedridden for like a week. right now i'm mostly recovered but i'm also in the midst of other medical stuff (taking medication which basically sedates me for like 12 hours, it's not fun). as you can imagine, not only did i do Jack and Shit during this period, but i damn well nearly died. it's actually kind of hilarious how precarious my life feels sometimes, but i push through regardless. (fun fact: taking too many antibiotics can cause insomnia, which can then develop into horrible hypnagogic hallucinations... ask me how i know!)

but yes, i will be investing my time into this big infrastructure project and also restoring my health. which means no work, no traveling, no nothing. i have to take all of this very seriously because, if the past few months have taught me anything, it's that you should never take your own health and safety for granted! same goes for mental health, lord knows i've been through the wringer on that one. i'm actually speaking to several mental health professionals right now (yeah, things got bad). i hope that they'll be able to help me process all this turmoil.

i tend to end these with a "thank you", but seriously i cannot overstate how thankful i am. the fundraiser really blew my mind as soon as the donations started rolling in. i just wanted to cry for days. processing all of that was very difficult given that i was still sick and heavily medicated throughout the stream, but thankfully i didn't have to make any live appearances or anything, so i was able to lay down. i really needed the help. i owe a lot to all of you (even those who didn't donate), and i especially owe a lot to my friends Harmful Park, Rist, Tia, Amy and Dicegame Uchiha. their genuine desire to help me made me realize that i've had some degree of positive impact on people. i love everyone very much.

here's hoping that spring (your autumn) will go easier on me, and that i'll be able to put out all sorts of weird stuff... here's hoping! 🖤