Toni and Ryan

Is being a parent always this quiet?

Mabel Betty is here …

FULL VIDEO SHOW WITH ALISON

HATE MAIL from ADELAIDE

"FUCK OFF! A ZUCCHINI AND A CUCUMBER ARE NOT THE SAME THING"
- Brooke from Adelaide

Dear Ryan,
Ever since I listened to the episode where you claim a cucumber and a zucchini to be the same thing I’ve been filled with a brutal rage.

I’ve been going about my day and all of a sudden I�...

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #032

Welcome to blog 32, and episode #3 of A,Blog,C’s!

Today we’re working with the letter C.

I don’t know if this counts but immediately I thought of the OC haha but I don’t think that’s fair. So I’ll go with my second thought which was Cauliflower.

That’s a bummer. Haha okay, cauliflower it is!

You know how recently cauliflower is like, a new IT vegetable? I know for people doing...

29 Year Old Lady Learns Fraction and Divisions

Please enjoy this "BEHIND THE SCENES VIDEO" of Toni learning that "/" can also be used as "÷" ... 

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #031

Welcome to blog 31, and episode #2 of A,Blog,C’s!

Today’s letter is… B!

B. B. b. BbBbBb.

Bieber. Justin Bieber.

I have no idea why Justin Bieber is what just came to mind but, in honour of the challenge, I’ll write about the first thing that comes to mind and today that happens to be Justin Bieber.

*hang on… wait one second….*

Sorry just had to hit play on Justin Bieber on Spotify to get in the ...

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #030

Welcome to blog THIRTY! Apologies for the lack of blogs of late, but we’re back better than ever baby!!!

I think I’m gonna change it up a bit and begin our A,Blog,C’s! OR AlphaBLOGical, I haven’t decided.

Each week a new letter, and a new blog to match. The letter might spur an idea or topic or question and then we can all chat! I think I’ll try and challenge myself to write about the first word that comes to mind which ...

CHAMPION TARPers !!!

We want to up our CHAMPION TARPer game.

The poll only allows you to vote once but if you like multiple ones or have other ideas and thoughts let us know in the comments.


An Additional Monthly Live Stream
Doing two per month means we can hit different time zones.

Monthly Q&A
You can submit questions in advance. And we'll do a bonus YouTube video (or maybe podcast episode) for champion TARPers and we'll answer questions from ch...

BEAUTIFUL or kinda FUCKED?

Ryan here and I'm asking ...
Is this photo BEAUTIFUL or kinda FUCKED?

BEAUTIFUL: A real moment in time documenting the journey of pregnancy and a cute moment of our dog, BJ, checking in to make sure she is ok.

FUCKED: "Apparently the dog cares more than you do".
Brigitte has pointed out that instead of taking a photo maybe I should have got up out of bed to help her and see if she is ok. 

FULL COINCIDENCE CHAT

Us pissing ourselves for EXCLUSIVE and CHAMPION TARPers

YOGAs with ya BROgas (yoga with Toni and Ryan)

We're doing Yoga this morning for our April live stream because I looked on some random website and it said April was a month of wellness or something so HERE we are! Toni xxx

TONI LOVES A CATALOGUE

FULL VIDEO of Toni telling us how much she's loves this shit for EXCLUSIVE and CHAMPION TARPers !!!

THE FK IT FUND

The F**K IT FUND has sent some Brazilian podcast listeners to an insane theme park, bought a doggie side car for a Canadian bike rider and today we surprise Seren who hasn’t had the cash to say “F**K IT, LET’S DO IT” when it comes buying a new mouth piece for their saxaphone.

What would you like to say "FK IT, LETS DO IT" for?
Tell us here > https://www.toniandryan.com.au/pages/fk-it-fund...

WHAT BLEW YA MIND ?!?!

Someone in the team has *discovered* something *amazing* 

SUPerIntendent Ryan Jonathon

BRIGITTE IS FLAPPED AGAIN

Does this count as a “things your partner does that fucks you off despite not impacting you in the slightest?”

- Ryan

YOGa with your BROsga * WRONG TIMES*

Toni leading the class.
SA, AUS, NZ and ASIA it's on Thursday.
i (Ryan) fucked up the graphic

I STILL CALL AUSTRALIA HOME !!!

BE PART OF HISTORY!
Make a girls dream come true.
JOIN THE CHOIR!
*Can confirm, not an April Fools gag*

TONI'S AUDITION

This video is for EXCLUSIVE and CHAMPION TARPers only and whilst there may be snippets later on ... this is the full thing.

I (Ryan) was nervous after the first song but woah ... what a finish!

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #029

Hello! I need your help.

I need some book recommendations! I predominantly read self-help or biographies / autobiographies which I just don’t have the brain power for at the moment. I really feel like reading but just need something a little easier and like… further away? I just need something where my brain can make up images and enjoy a story!!

I have read Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine which I LOVED. I don’t mind if it’s fantasy or mystery or sexy clit lit, or just...

Chat GPT wrote a poem about TONI

Ryan here, I asked Chat GPT 4 to write a poem about Toni and I am not disappointed. However it does seem Chat GPT hasn't heard the outcome of the stand up paddle boarding.

><><><><><><><><><><><><>

In Richmond, where the river flows,
Lives a lass named Toni, with tales to disclose.
With Taubs, her love, and Pippa the pup,
A cozy little family, as they snuggle up.

A podcast host with a voice...

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #028

Hello lovely TARPer friends!!

Fuck the blogs are all over the place - apologies for missing last week but I was on my ACTUAL deathbed with covid. Feeling more human now and I WANT TO MEET YOU!

My book launch is here!!! All of the excitement of the book is still popping off, and Ryan and I are having a wonderful little chat all about it, and would LOVE for you to come.

If you’re in Melbourne, all of the details can be found right 2023-03-14 05:44:19 +0000 UTC View Post

Toni's VERY Late Christmas Present

Always check the junk folder ... 

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #027

It’s a new month, and my first as OFFICIALLY an author!!!!

I need to keep this one brief because I have 1 million things to do today. But recently I’ve had the biggest hankering for toast.

Weird right?

I eat toast all the time. Toast is almost my favourite food. (My actual favourite food is sandwiches, but just bread in general I guess is pretty safe.)

It’s not the toast though - it’s the way it’s prepared.

For the longest time I always liked my toast l...

PERTH - Books are scarce but the hugs are free!

There is no *offical* booking signing in Perth.

BUT ... unofficially ... Toni and I *might* be having a look at around at Dymocks in Hay Street from 5pm this Thursday and then hanging out in the Hay Street Mall. 

They won't have many books but the hugs, selfies AND HIGH FIVES are unlimited !!!

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #026

Happy Blog Day!

With the excitement of my BOOK!!! COMING OUT!!! NEXT WEEK!!!! I wanted to give my fave little friends on Patreon a little sneaky peaky of the introduction chapter a week early. So many people have messaged and sent their well wishes about the book, and I’m very grateful! I’m also so excited to know that very soon so many people will be reading my book. A book full of my words and thoughts and most vulnerable memories. Enjoy this tiny taste.

—-----------------...

WHICH SONG SHOULD TONI SING IN HER AUDTION?

15 years after she should have ...
Toni HAS AN AUDITION with the National Girls Youth Choir.
We all get to choose which song she sings!

APPROVAL TIMES

Someone more will open up each week so keep checking back. https://calendly.com/toniandryan/tarp-approval

Toni won’t stop her fight with Australia Post

WHEN WILL THE BOOKS ARRIVE?

From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #025

Hello! Good morning / afternoon / welcome!

I just HAVE to recommend my favourite stand-up special ever, by Anne Edmonds. Our new producer Cam and I have never bonded over something SO strongly as we have over this, and we’ve tried to recommend it to Ryan MANY times and I’m hoping he takes it on because I’d like to quote this with many many more people: including all of you guys!!!

So I know this might be controversial, but it’s on Amazon Prime, though you may be able to…...