"IM AN EGG NOW AUGH HELP"
Thank you Dravoll for the suggestion!
For new patrons, I'm doing a suggestion-based CYOA arc using your suggestions. Click here to catch up on the story and find out how you can participate! Also, please keep your suggestions short! Like, two, three sentences would be perfect. The more concise it is, the likelier I'll pick 'em!
2020-10-15 00:17:18 +0000 UTC View PostHey everyone! Thank you so much for becoming a patron!! I got some neat stuff cooked up for patrons only, so stay tuned!
2020-10-14 09:19:32 +0000 UTC View Post
Patreon exclusive so dont tell anyone
EDIT: actually maybe tell people so they'd be patrons. but dont share tho
2020-10-13 18:31:51 +0000 UTC View Post
Melody was watching a documentary on caves earlier and heard one of the geologists use the word "stalactite" as a metaphor for death. For a while, Melody also thought that "troglofauna" meant "love" and "microclimate" meant lunch.
2020-10-11 07:59:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Carmen and Iris' first AoRCon involved two hours of crying and three hours of making out in the bathroom. Then they went home and watched old zombie movies and ate too many pizza. They got engaged the next morning.
2020-10-08 08:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
"So, after six weeks of searching, I've finally found your sister. You'll be relieved to know that she's alive and well. She only moved away because of her new job as a software engineer."
"That's... great. She was never missing, though. I just talked to her on the phone this morning. I hired you to find my bike that was stolen."
"I thought you were talking in code!"
"N-no. I even said on the email that none of it was code."
"But what about all the secrecy? Li...
2020-10-05 08:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
ToR13 was recently interviewed in Utilities Monthly about being a freelance garbage bin, and her husband framed the interview and hung it on the living room next to her stepson's drawing of a dragon that was featured in a kids magazine a few years ago.
2020-10-02 08:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
I Feel Like The Sky is a song about driving your new car-boat-plane for the first time.
How Dirty is a song about taking your new car-boat-plane to get cleaned.
My Broken Recital is a song about when your friend spills soda on your new car-boat-plane's leather seat.
Car-Boat-Plane is a song about broken friendships, and that feeling of losing your trust in others after they spill soda on your new car-boat-plane.
2020-09-29 08:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Non-bot Burgers are basically burgers but for people who are not robots. They contain organic versions of buns, beef patties, solar batteries, pickles, and lettuce. Non-robot people would also put non-bot ingredients on their non-bot burgers, such as cheese and tomato. This is apparently done to appease the living organic cells that reside in their bodies and operate their bodily functions.
2020-09-26 08:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
ToR13 had been up all night helping her step son practice lines for his school play which somehow took hours even though he only had 2 lines, which were "Okay, old man." and "Watch out for that tree!" so excuse her if she fell asleep in the middle of a convention hall.
2020-09-23 08:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
And/Or Retail Con is the 3rd biggest robot-centric convention in Santra Major, right before The Intergalactic SportsBot/KillDroid Expo, and Only Retail Con.
2020-09-20 08:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
There are many theories on why omni-seduction works on inanimate objects but not on living beings who are asexual or not attracted to the omni-seductor, though none of them have yet been fully confirmed.
The second most popular theory proposes that the powerful act of omni-flirting temporarily grants sentience to an inanimate object and puts it in a malleable state on a molecular level, but it does not override the sentience of already living beings.
The most popular theo...
2020-09-17 08:59:59 +0000 UTC View Post
The first time Zuri ever successfully performed omni-seduction is when she boiled an egg by writing it a poem. It took several hours and she was overcooked it, but hey you gotta start somewhere.
2020-09-14 08:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Lord Havenbottom IV's platoon consists of posh-type himbos, so be sure to use roguish or coquettish-flying type moves against them.
2020-09-11 03:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Legends told that Lady Roxelle's could literally move mountains with her sensual words. It is said that she built her Academy for Femme Fatales by making eyes at a pile of bricks and wood. Scientists have theorized that if she ever flirted with herself in front of the mirror, the sensual energy would break time and space.
2020-09-08 04:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Killer scarves was number 7 on Fatale Magazine's list of Most Fashionable Means of Murder, right before Poison Lipstick and Laser Yacht.
2020-09-05 04:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Isaac's horoscope said that he'll either need to bring his Secsip Fish potion on today's mission and/or his Wand of Correct Wire Cutting. There was no reason why he couldn't bring both, he just didn't think he'd be cutting any wires today.
2020-09-02 04:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Dread wants to learn beatboxing, but she's worried that it'll make her too hot, so she's learning how to beatbox responsibly.
2020-08-30 04:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
After several incidents involving students being tempted to summon ancient evils through hot dogs, donuts and picnic rolls, the wizard academy considered that they really need to improve their lunch program.
2020-08-26 20:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Garla once accidentally un-flexed her arms and her shirt grew sleeves. It was a rough time for her and her family.
2020-08-24 06:59:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Remember Zuri? She appeared in that one arc? I'm thinking of maybe doing more comics with her.
Anyway, here are some Patreon-exclusive practice drawings lol
2020-08-23 11:36:06 +0000 UTC View Post
The thing about Space Turkeys, or Spurkeys, is that they're very fast, have mind-reading abilities, and can mimic speech.
Due to their speed, it usually takes a team hunters to catch one. Other than its speed, the spurkey's form of defense is finding your most embarassing thoughts about each other and say it out loud. This often leads to in-fighting within spurkey-hunting teams, ruining friendships and breaking families right before Spurkey Day. Hence its nickname "The Heartbreak Bird"....
2020-08-21 00:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
"The password could be fluffie, or Fluffie, or fLuFfIE, or Fluff13, or any other endless variation of the word!"
"Minnow, you just said fluffie four times."
"Boss, you're not a hacker. You wouldn't understand."
2020-08-18 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
While having an air of mystery has its benefits, Dread realized that a vague calling card or a logo drawn in blood is just not as effective as directly giving someone your URL. Also the blood thing gets super messy, and Dread's not the best artist.
2020-08-15 13:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Wizard Art Critic is one of the most dangerous magic careers in the galaxy, with a higher death rate than Wizard Cooking Show Judge and Wizard Video Essayist with a Focus on Old Animated TV Shows.
2020-08-11 23:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
"Okay so. I might have accidentally cracked the Xivalian crystals, and am now trapped in the pocket dimension myself. Anyone know how to get out of it??"
Thank you Potion-junkie for the suggestion! Sorry I slacked a bit with the CYOA comic, but I'm gonna try to bring it back more frequently now. So, send me more suggestions!
(If you're a new patron, hi! Catch up on the CYOA ...
2020-08-11 18:54:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Doris didn't want laser eyes precisely for this reason; she didn't want to accidentally zap anyone that annoys her. She's heard stories of retail robots shooting laser eyes at customers asking them to check in the back, seeing the manager, or coming in 2 minutes before closing time just to loiter.
Iris got laser eyes installed later that evening.
2020-08-08 18:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Asking a non-magic friend for salt, and then specifying that you meant figurative salt, as opposed to literal, is the most common way of harvesting standard, kitchen table figurative salt.
For pure, concentrated figurative salt, one must travel to a Figurative Salt Mine. It is advised that only one person at a time enter the mines, as the experience is known to cause havoc in personal relationships.
The same is said about Figurative Sugar Fields.
2020-08-06 04:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
"The Dark Magus keeps sealing people's things. I don't know why we keep inviting him to our pot luck dinners."
"Well, he makes a great potato salad."
"Yeah, but I don't know if that's worth all my drawers being magically shut."
"I separate the art from the artist."
2020-08-02 17:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
