194: Endlessly Embracing Trip Advisor Bongo
Steve eats butterflies and bees LIVE ON STAGE, Log hugs a man forever, Matt has written some weird shit about staplers, and Gav invents the prank phonecall.
regularfeatures posts
193: Wild Yoga Garlic Dogs
The indomitable Matt and his wretched friends strike again. Log tells us about what if dogs were in charge of a cafe. Steve knows all of the names of wild garlic and refuses to share. And through brute force of imagination Matt conjures a world in which yoga is like Pokemon gyms.
192: Billionaires On The Buses
Hello! I'm Log, and I edited this one so if it's all fucked up again - and it almost certainly is, because I used software with which I'm intimately unacquainted - message me directly on Twitter so the others don't get to find out. This can be our little secret. And if you do tell them, they won't believe you anyway. And we'll all go to prison. Is that what you want?
2016-05-26 10:01:54 +0000 UTC View PostTHE LOG SPECIAL
Who wants a dingdong! Patreon isn't getting one, because it wouldn't accept the soundcloud link so I had to just put an image up instead.
This week Log was at a funeral, and Matt was worried that he might shit himself so we basically couldn't do a podcast episode. But it's OK, let's just bathe in the glory of the man known as LOG, for reasons which continue to be largely unsatisfying.
190: Why Won't Audible Sponsor us? by Regular Features
Thanks for supporting the podcast. We don't need stupid audible to sponsor us because we have you awesome people instead. Anyway, I heard audible have got Gary Glitter's autobiography on their files and he hasn't paid tax since '92. Disgusting.
2016-05-12 22:54:47 +0000 UTC View PostRegular Features 189: Four Melting Men (Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre)
This week's episode was best described by Gav as "essentially a man melting on stage and still managing to be brilliant." Team Features roll onto stage at the end of a Bank Holiday Monday, unsurprisingly a little worse for wear. Wonderful/shambolic. Apologies for the audio quality this week - the setup at the venue wasn't up to scratch - but the reverb does get better later in the show.
2016-05-05 09:43:36 +0000 UTC View PostOops, we forgot to post this one on Patreon last week, sorry reader
Heyyyy, you might have seen that we just posted episode 188, but this is episode 187, from last week, the one that Log edited all wrong and made it sound like there were seven of us all talking at once. Poor Log was so exhausted from being bad at editing that he forgot to post it on the Patreon page back then, so I'm just doing it now, slipping this dainty little latecomer right into your back pocket. Boop! I hope that's okay.
This is Steve by the way. They call me "the fixer", like th...
2016-04-29 19:07:19 +0000 UTC View Post188: Junketiquette
After last week's editing balls-up-and-fingering-the-dick-in-after-them faux pas, this episode has been lovingly snipped with you, the reader, in mind. During every snip, clip, fold and tuck, your face was hovering in our peripheral vision. As each jingle was dropped into place, your eyes darted around madly in their sockets. And as we uploaded it, you gave a mute howl of protest that we knowingly chose to interpret as enthusiasm. ENJOY
2016-04-28 12:57:30 +0000 UTC View Post186: Whale Wrestling Entertainment
YOU WANTED IT, YOU ASKED FOR IT: WHALES. SLAMMED INTO THE SEA. 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK, 52 WEEKS A YEAR, 3 YEARS UNTIL EVERYBODY DIES. REVERSE-WHALESLAM!! POW!
2016-04-14 14:23:16 +0000 UTC View PostStone-Cold Garcia's Awful Wedding - Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre
Log invents The Joe-Down, Steve invents Wrestling, Joe invents Murder, and Matt invents Weddings. Everyone has a nice time, and then goes downstairs for a nice drink. Video version a bit late, due to GREMLINS. Should be up on our YT channel later today/tomorrow.
184: Mo' Money, Mo' Chinny Bastards by Regular Features
Apparently Gav doesn't know the difference between Little Mo and Big Mo. What a clown.
2016-03-31 06:08:01 +0000 UTC View Post183: The Morbid VR Holiday
Matt has been to virtual worlds, Steve has been to the actual world, and Log deals with emotional complexity in the only way he's apparently able.
2016-03-24 13:06:07 +0000 UTC View Post182: The Matt Lees Special by Regular Features
We couldn't get together to do a podcast this week so we've whacked together the Best of Matt Lees as voted for by YOU, our richest and therefore best fans.
We're not going to charge you for this one though so don't get your nickers up yer arse.
ENJOY YOUR FREE PODCAST, YOU FREELOADING JERKS! xxx
2016-03-17 23:37:54 +0000 UTC View Post181: Guy Ritchie's Colonic Irrigation Bust-Up
Log has been roughed up something rotten, Steve has some puns about Morrissey, Gav went to a theme park where they shove rubber piping up your bum-hole, and Matt has turned into Guy Ritchie.
180: Red Hot Kinky Queens
Steve imagines a world in which we are firemens, Matt imagines a world in which the queen fabricates Russian-guage rail from her anus, and Log fails to write a Kinky Boots feature and tries to have a conversation instead
179: Pret a Hitler Sister
It's Log. It's Steve. It's Log and Steve. The two of them. Together! Just having fun and talking out loud. There's a bit about Pret, and there's a bit about Hitler's moustache, and there's a belated sad story from Steve. And the cobbywobby man returns. It's all in here!
178: The Infinite Sadness of Two Tragic Men
What's that thing where people go on stage and read out bits from their old diaries and cry while getting laughed at? This is like that but more pathetic.
177: The Award-Winning Pancake Thief
Matt has a quiz about pancake facts, Gav is a victim of profiling on a plane, and Log wins an award for having the UK's best pub sign.
2016-02-11 11:52:58 +0000 UTC View Post176: Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre - 1st Feb 2016
Matt has a breakfast-based tribute to Wogan, Steve has a new job, Gav has a hot chilli, and Log has discovered a link to the afterlife. That's Regular Features. Up on the other podcast feeds too - thanks for watching/listening!
2016-02-04 11:07:13 +0000 UTC View Post
174: The Disaster of the Feature-Free Incident
This week's episode contains scenes of incompetence which may be alarming or distressing to young children. Please take care when ingesting this episode.
173: Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre
We're back in our monthly live slot in North London, and this time Matt's got an actual FEATURE. It's still a bit weird though, so keep your shoes on Susan. Steve talks with a PR about a magical cup, Log has designed a new wave of hot merch, and Gav is a famous internet troll. You can watch a video of this episode, here:www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITIXePqaoEk
171: What We Did in 2015 by Regular Features
Here's a cheeky little best of 2015 for you.
Don't worry, we're not charging you for this one because we love you so much.
Happy New Year, you sexy bastards xxxxx
2015-12-31 11:15:43 +0000 UTC View Post
169: Christopher Bratt's Nazi Bum-Eggs
Matt and Steve and Log are joined by Special Guest Chris Bratt! Matt doesn't like television, Steve has a cautionary tale to share, and Chris shares wisdom from a flimsy book that's all about Tinder.
168: Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre - 7th December 2015
All four of the boys arrange themselves on stage for a festive show of truly normal proportions! Thanks so much to those who came - our next live show should be on the 11th of January. Just keep the Xmas drinking going. Until February. It's fine.
2015-12-10 13:33:24 +0000 UTC View Post
