The Regular Features boys have been scattered to the four quadrants, and now it's up to Joe to beam a series of hot emissions from our orbital podcast base directly into your tiny, porcelain baby ears.
Log has lovely bones. Steve has a Land Rover. And Gav interviews Coco.
2019-09-21 13:30:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello Patreons! In this episode of Regular Features, Joe finds a new pet for the podcast inside of a egg, Log takes us on a tour of Nottingham's sights, and Steve brings us all the latest news from the big Apple event in Cupertino.
2019-09-12 13:06:29 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey patreonistas!
What do the Cheeky Girls have in common with a small, stuffed blackbird? Both of them inspire us to greater things. Would you like to know more? Listen to this week's episode of the Regular Features podcast, and be enlightened.
2019-09-05 22:58:00 +0000 UTC View Post
It's a live show isn't it, fill your boots. The boys have never ever been QUITE as sweaty - Steve does a bird thing, Log is Baba and Baba is Log, Matt goes to the races, Joe is a Warhammer 40kunt, and Gav's dog has been a bad dog.
2019-08-29 17:56:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Want something the freeloaders don't have? Here's 9 minutes I snipped where Matt talked about a Bike Ride to Staines, and all the absolutely horrible things he saw. There's a bit where I saw "My first experience with Staines..." then fade out in a way that frustrated me, listening back. So, I'll tell you here!
I knew a bloke from Staines who was so thirsty for attention, good or bad, that he connected a cable from a carton of milk to his trouser fly. Then, whenever he passed a pos...
2019-08-24 14:09:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Don't think of it as being two days late! Think of it as being just in time for you to listen to RIGHT NOW!! That's the spirit, people. I love your can-do spunk. And it also means that you'll only have five days before our first Live Show in years! Speaking as Log, the person writing this paragraph, I'm both bricking it and dead excited for the bit after the show where we all hang out. That's my favourite, baby. Kis ski ss
Anyway I've got to post this quickly then go downstairs. It's 3p...
2019-08-24 13:59:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey you! Put down that can of shaving mousse! Aaaand the other one. *Gestures knowingly towards your shoes as you pull two tiny cans of shaving mousse out of your socks.*
That's better! Now, not many people know that it is my fondest dream to walk down the same alley in which Bruce Wayne's parents were killed, to find an Uber Eats rider and a Deliveroo rider getting down and dirty in a brand new dumpster.
That's nothing to do with this week's episode, however - in which Matt...
2019-08-15 15:43:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello you beautiful Patrons!
Here's the podcast that YOU are responsible for, I hope you're happy.
This week Joe turns Gav n Log's history into a video game and we get a visit from one of our favourite guests.
Tickets for our live podcast are on sale now!
Monday 26th August, 7:30pm.
Canal Cafe Theatre, London.&nbs...
2019-08-08 13:39:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello you beautiful Patrons!
Thanks so much for your pennies and beer money - you really are the BEST.
This week Joe takes a tour of Steve's filthy house and discovers a little bit about himself along the way.
As of writing this, our August Bank Holiday show ISN'T on sale yet but keep checking the Canal Cafe Theatre site because it will be there SOON.
2019-08-01 16:11:57 +0000 UTC View Post
There was an accident at the lab and now there are two Leeses on the pod. Which is the evil one that I need to shoot? And which is Log more sexually attracted to? Find out all this and possibly less in this week's thrilling episode of Regulam Featup!!!!
2019-07-25 15:33:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello you beautiful Patrons,
This week let Steve, Gav and a beautiful man named Log guide you through the world of reader suggest Regular Features.
Thanks as ever for supporting us, without you we wouldn't/couldn't/dare to exist so we owe you EVERYTHING.
xxx
When a podcast is over an hour long, does that show a want of editing or self-control? Does it knickers! it mean we give you bang for your bucks, baby! Over the course of this "ep", Steve produces the go-to to-do list for go-getters who gone and got a new home. Meanwhile, Joe introduces us to the man behind the elemental gun that is super-effective on men who are standing in puddles, the "Spasm Wire Shooter". Finally, Gav decides to use his powers for good, in a feature that show...
2019-07-11 16:36:53 +0000 UTC View Post
This week Matt, Steve and Joe explore the gamut of comedic subjects including reusable sperm buckets, hot dogs and Roger Helmer.
Thanks to all our amazing Patrons for giving us the strength to carry one xoxo
2019-07-04 16:23:34 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello there paaaaatrons! x
There's just no getting away from it, we've done another episode of a podcast and we're not going to apologise. I'm sorry but that's just how it is. Wait, that's a Simpsons joke, I swear I thought of it independently.
In this one, Log gets tiny in a big boat of gravy, Steve reveals his beauty tips and cosmetics secrets, and Matt invites us right into the bod-zone.
2019-06-27 22:47:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Good day madam. In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Gavin uncovers the sordid undercurrent of homophobia and bigotry in the Auf Wiedersehen Pet fan community, Joe reintroduces us to our old buddy MySpace Tom, who has an update about his house, and Steve has a flight (of the bumblebee) of fancy, as he whispers secrets into a hive.
Take it or leave it, but please, take it. We don't want it any more.
2019-06-21 09:54:24 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey you, my own one-girl rock-steady crew! I'm a cool judge, and I want you to peel off that £1 Dead Sea face mask you got from Boots and come into my chambers.
THIS COURT IS ADJOURNED
OK so now I've got you on my own can I ask you when I'm meant to bang the gavel? I've been banging it whenever there'd be a full stop in my sentences, but that made me self-conscious and I started using run-on sentences which doesn't sound particularly authoritative. Sometimes I think being cool in...
2019-06-13 16:47:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey there Patron pals. This week it's all blimps and big boys, and little in between. If it's not a blimp, it's a bloody big boy. And if it's not a big boy knocking at your window, it's the metal tip of a massive blimp, gently tap tap tapping, wanting to be let inside for some snacks. We got Log, we got Steve, we got Joe. Let's go.
Love you x
2019-06-06 20:12:40 +0000 UTC View Post
When Steve sends you a message like this, you just gotta get him quick or he will blow his top and his load and then you've just got load everywhere it's grim
Hey patrons! In this episode, we got James Brown, we got Brown James, we got Nicholas Lyndhurst, we hurt Lynne Ninkledurst, and we finally solve what was it that was did happen at Chernobyl in that crazy little town.
It's a good one! We promise you that.
2019-05-31 01:39:33 +0000 UTC View Post
She packed my bags last night, pre-flight. Zero hour, nine AM. And I think I'll be high-igh-igh, as a kite by then.
That's a little poem I just made up about the latest episode of Regular Features, because Joe has a feature about a sky penis (high as a kite), Steve has a feature about haunted pins (nine AM, a scary time of day), and Log has a feature about Fridge Raiders (pack your bags full of them if you're going out).
If you like it, great! Thanks for being a patronista x
2019-05-23 17:54:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Matt went to Denmark and discovered a practical application of socialism. Meanwhile, Log went to a new and angry post office. Steve attended.
2019-05-16 12:37:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning you glorious specimens.
This week Joe is doing the opposite of safe cracking. Steve is doing the opposite of giving his bike to a policeman. And Log is doing the opposite of satirising an actual living person who has legal recourse to lawsuit our sweet little puckered patoots. It's opposite time! Please stop supporting us on Patreon!
2019-05-09 23:07:16 +0000 UTC View Post
Let Gav and Steve take you on a journey involving werewolves, blankets, Michael Jackson and a woman who may or may not be crying.
A big thank you to all our amazing Patrons. We take the piss but if it wasn't for you lot, we wouldn't be here <3
2019-05-02 22:09:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Stop or we'll shoot! Shoot a hot load of podcast bullets into your willing face, that is, because this week's episode is all about justice. Justice for Steve and his busted up mouth. Justice for Log's new film noir detective stories. And justice for Joe, who couldn't do a feature because the actual police said they'd arrest him if he tried.
Hoobastank!
2019-04-26 13:31:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Only two boys turned up this week, but thankfully those two boys were LOG and MATT, who are very capable indeed thank you very much. There's legs going crazy, there's Assange getting arrested and erotic, and strike me down if there isn't a Toon Blast Bear Daddy aside. Byyyyye.
2019-04-18 15:12:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Plasticene! What's that about? Doesn't taste of anything, but once you've eaten the white strip you have to eat all the other colours because it stands to reason they'd taste of SOMETHING. Life got in the way this week, and we couldn't meet up: but you're not getting away without an epside: Gav, Joe and Log have recorded solo features for your sequential enjoyment. Log gets over his self-deprecating instincts, Gav quizzes the living heck out of himself, and Joe apologises to a reader after ou...
2019-04-12 09:20:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Joe's been spying on Uri Geller, Log's investigated the new financial year but WHO CARES because there's a missing beard to discuss!!
2019-04-04 18:52:37 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey there Patreoninis. It's me Steve lol xxx
In this episode you will meet no fewer than three James Gandolfinis, no fewer than one Grapesalicious Bordain, and one more than none Matt Lees with a bunch of allergies sellotaped to his back.
Hello, this is Regular Features, and thank you for giving us your ears again.
2019-03-28 23:31:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Howdy patrons! Curl up in bed with this special sleepy episode of the Regular Features podcast, which is all about that good white stuff, ie. sheets and snow. Steve celebrates World Sleep Day slogans, and Matt recounts a recent trip into the mountains when his arse clamped shut as a vice. Oh heavens. Have a nice day.
2019-03-22 14:02:41 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello beautiful Patrons! You people make this life worth living.
This week Gav's got tales of Welsh poop, Joe does some fantastic voice acting and Log brings us Regular Feature's first ever interview (we think).
RF xoxo
2019-03-14 13:59:55 +0000 UTC View Post