372 Pages We ll Never Get Back

This is a Boxcar Willie Truther podcast now

After yesterday's episode posted, I remembered that many years ago I had photoshopped the album of Boxcar Willie's greatest hits to make all the songs (but one!) about him being a lizard person. When I went looking for it, it turns out I had had a bit of a lizard person / Icke phase. so here's all the other images I had posted on my tumblr that were related to this totally untrue "theory", hahaha can you even imagine if it were real?

372 Pages #121 - Gump & Co Ep 3

Oh, come back lengthy, unending descriptions of New Coke! You are missed. We'll put down here what might be discussed during this episode and let you decide whether it's real or not:

• Colonel Oliver North (a gimme)
• Hog farming
• Methane Explosions
• Mike's Killer Performance in Real or Fanfic
• The Bonus Army Riots
• Jessica Hahn
• John Wayne Gacy
• The Solid Gold Dancers
• Jay Leno's Secret Prison Stint
• Bo...
  2022-05-10 17:39:43 +0000 UTC View Post

Mr. Muckle!

As listeners know, Conor believes all good comedy began with Wayne's World and only improved with the advent of the Ace Ventura series. 

We'll post here the one exception -- the single moment of comedy BWW (Before Wayne's World) that Conor might grudgingly accept as "kind of funny".

372 Pages - Gump and Co - Bonus Ep 1

Our 1st full ep of Gump and Co was chock full so here we read a few letters and recount the harrowing tale of Mike and Bridget attempting to secure a new phone! (It's full of more twists and turns than a chapter of Gump and Co.)

372 Pages #120 - Gump & Co Ep 2

Our first full episode of diving into the Winston Groom book Gump & Co.

So much is uncovered here, including Mike's grandmother's encounter with Houdini, Conor's visit with broadcasting legend Larry King, some Dumb Sentences and some Real or FanFic; during which Mike either does or does not repeat recent past triumphs!

Patreon supporter goals as outlined in this episode:

863: Conor tries one of Forrest's New Coke "improvements"

873: Conor tries the other o...

Conor's Bad First Grade Books - "Peanuts"

While we wait to see what misfortunate might befall Mike before our next recording (my money's on being crushed by the ISS), let's take a look at another one of the "books" Conor "wrote" in first grade, "Peanats". If you've been following along, you'll have noticed that this continues a trend with these books, wherein beloved intellectual properties (ALF, Jaws) are repurposed into fantastical scenarios dreamt up by our author. Nobody climbed Mt Everest with Batman, but what I'm saying is, per...

15 Days I Never Want Back

On a very special episode Conor and Mike explore the reasons they are not doing a full episode of the regular podcast. It has many twists and turns and tragedies but ultimately, like most things, it's Mike's fault.

Mike's Triumph

Loyal jackal Taylor, whose hyper-specific 372 themed Billy Joel parodies you may be familiar with, put together this amazing labor of love that truly captures what it felt like on that momentous day Mike went 14/15 in Real or Fanfic. This was a real blast to watch and must have taken a lot of effort, so tell Taylor how awesome it is!

New Gump ep next week.

Conor's Bad First Grade Books - "Super Jaws"

We spend so much time having fun with other people's books that it's only right to mock our own. Here is the long awaited followup to "Alf Gets Gooped", "Super Jaws." At first I thought that Jaws was wearing glasses as a subtle internalization of my own first grade nearsightedness, but as I was uploading these images, I realized that this is actually Jaws in his Clark Kent stage, before emerging into the world as a glasses-less Super Jaws. This is the kind of stuff that gets you noticed for t...

Gump & Co llamacorn

New llamacorn just dropped courtesy Matt Nelson!

Book #20 Announcement!

It's time to announce our twentieth book, and there's one question on everyone's mind: will anyone be forced into a tree? Also, Mike & Conor do another round of Calibrate Your Tastes.

It's time to start another crazy journey. We're excited about this one!

(Conor would like to state for the record that he realized about half an hour after recording this that his favorite poem is Last Thoughts on Woo...

The Slap Part 2

After Justin's stunning email revelation that he did not remember slapping Conor, we had to get to the bottom of this before everyone muted the word "slap" from their timelines. Justin (who, plot twist, co-wrote the "girls are bad at nintendo" article featured in our 2019 live show)  was happy to sit down to try to piece together 23 year old events, make a few very bold claims, and reminisce a...

A stunning development

We should have more on this shocking twist in the slap story some time this evening

The TRUE Story of THE SLAP - [Conor's Slap]

Honestly, Conor was slapped years ago and it was considered by most of America to be the slap before the cheap imitation that occurred last night. Get the true story here at 372 Pages!

Conor's Bad First Grade Books - "Alf Gets Gooped"

Hell yeah, my mom dropped a stack of garbage they didn't want in their house any longer, I mean priceless childhood treasures, off at my house. A bunch of "books" I wrote in first grade were included, so in the spirit of bad book fairness and transparency, let's roast the hell out of first grade Conor.

First off is Alf Gast Gopt, which is my third favorite Kraftwerk song. I didn't watch a lot o...

A very visual email

Listener Patrick sent in this email, which wouldn't have really worked to read on the last episode, but put forth an interesting theory. Larry could easily be a FF fan. This is Pat's email, copied and pasted:

Something kept nagging at me. The black panthers. I was discussing with Discord user Jorkkeli about the possible influences of Antigua, and the story seems to be a mash-up of a lot of visual media influences - The Last Unicorn, The Hobbit, The Wizard of Oz, the Smurfs (minwads...

372 Pages - #119 - Antigua Ep 7 - Eagle Man!

Weeks ago, when we wandered out of the trees and mountains of the plains of Antigua and hopped on that unicorn's back, we never could have imagined the places she'd take us. Or the sheer, unbelievable, immense number of characters we'd meet along the way.

So this, our last episode of Antigua: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes is a bittersweet one. We can only hope a Head Centaur blows dust on the writing ambitions of Larry and Denise to revive them and they finish volume 2...

This Peter Gets Around!

[If you're reading along I don't think there are any spoilers in this.] 

Here's what we know about Antigua: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes' greatest character, Peter:

• He's King Aurthorr's brother: "Off to the sides were several centaurs, the miniwads Ruth, Filomena, Ambrosia, Donovan, Charliey, Bernard and Cornelius. There were the king’s brothers Victor, Anthony and Peter." [pg 42 of the canon]
• He'...
  2022-03-15 17:55:40 +0000 UTC View Post

Grackle Solution

Conor here. I have a birdfeeder in my yard that throughout the winter, was a nice source of wildlife sightings. See the below cardinal and downy woodpecker!

But as of late it has been dominated by gangs of Grackles, which are fairly uninteresting and aggressive birds. The Nasty Foxes of the ...

Antigua Mailbag

We respond to letters from listeners we couldn't get to in our regular eps (because they're as numerous as Miniwads!)

Here's Craig's character spreadsheet 

And Conor's nephew Henry enjoying another Henry

Singeries

Forgive the volley of posts but Conor and I were lamenting that our aged relatives seemed to collect Lladros and Copenhagen porcelain rather than these clearly superior Meissen-style monkey figurines! 

If you have the means I highly recommend purchasing this entire collection: https://tinyurl.com/2p828w5z

NOT a Classical Mini

Just a question: can anyone listen to Schubert's "Trout" Quintet and not be happier by doing so? I suggest, no. And it makes me happy that evidently Schubert only wanted to create a little more joy for his friends and everyone who heard and / or played it.

372 Pages #118 - Ep 6 - Teens!

"Displace one note and there would be diminishment, displace one phrase and the structure would fall." Salieri on Mozart but it could easily have been spoken by Conor or me about the Ellis' classic book, Antigua: The Land of Fairies Wizard and Heroes. 

We won't spoil anything but simply point out that we have a classic Real or Fanfic, some of the best Dumb Sentences EVER and an amazing letter from a listener.

For next time, like Bilbo... FINISH THE BOOK!

Antigua Meme Winners!

We have some winners! This was almost certainly our most entered Meme Contest yet, we had nearly as many entries as there are characters introduced in one page of Antigua. But here are your winners! Congrats to Edmund, Janelle, "Anonymous Person", and Jackal651. Email 372pages@gmail.com for your reward!

Full gallery can be viewed here.

Classical Mini - Rachmaninoff / Rachmaninov / Rakhmaninoff

The White Strips cribbed from Bruckner, Maroon 5 took on Pachelbel, Billy Joel, Beethoven, Barry Manilow, Chopin; but as you know the best take from the best which is why Rachmaninoff was covered by... Eric Carmen.

372 Pages - Antigua Bonus Real or FanFic #2

Mike here: You people are devious. Can I keep my streak up, or will I fly too close to the sun and melt the wax of my wings like that other guy who bragged about many he got right in Antigua Real or FanFic?

You'll have to listen!

Antigua Meme Contest

OK, we've only got two more Antigua eps left, so it's time for our traditional Meme Contest! Post links to your best Antigua memes in the comments, then come back and vote for your favorite ones by Hearting them. We'll pick an audience winner and a judges' winner and reward them with a to be determined something!

Get memein'! Bonus points for formats that aren't like a decade old!

372 Pages #117 - Ep 5 - Animal Collective

Just a few of the animals mentioned in this episode's reading: dogs, cats, cows, roosters, chickens, pigs, goats, horses, cattle, foxes, squirrel monkeys who make all kinds of noises, a TALKING GORILLA, HIS HYSTERICAL WIFE AND THEIR BABY. 

Guess, just guess which of these is by far the most interesting animal.

There is of course Real or Fanfic, a dive to the Dark Web, Dumb Sentences and some really great emails and maps from listeners, not to mentio...

Meet The Authors - Charlton Jetson (Bill Corbett)

Mike & Conor are joined by Bob Fingerman to interview Charlton Jetson (Bill Corbett of RiffTrax, MST3K, & Ringheads).

In addition to being an author, Charlton is a man of the theater, and his career as a playwright and actor has taken many an interesting twist and turn. Learn about his distaste for Hal Holbrook, his ...

Mud block, turn off the steam

The story, almost undoubtedly apocryphal, is surely well-known to every listener of this podcast. A group of writers challenges each other to write a story using only six words, Hemmingway invokes a dead kid, and goes home with a fat wallet. But with all due respect to the grieving Mom & Dad (That's why you save receipts!!!!), I feel that "Mud Block, Turn Off The Steam" paints a far more vivid, and ultimately more disturbing mental picture.

This is a page from a Whizzo The Clown col...