372 Pages We ll Never Get Back

Quarantine Mini 9 - When Calls the Quiz

Not even Conor is insane enough to do today's mini.

QM Ocho - Yep, We're to "Ocho"

Please keep in mind two things:

• Arm wresting tournaments are double elimination, and....
• Conor and I had already been in a rehearsal / rewrite for HOURS before recording this.

Let's write a book

Alright everybody, we hit 500 supporters, then one guy quit, but overnight we hit it again! So please congratulate Laura on making this all happen!

And a hearty thanks and congrats to all of you who keep this podcast going! It's a weird things we've got going here, and it's a treat to be able to share it with you.

So, we want to see what happens when we collectively write a book. We are still figuring this out, but here's the basics of how it will work:

1. Click on the above...

Quarantine Mini 7 - Conor Goes Rich Little

Look; things are bad. People are afraid. Andy Rooney is the cure.

Moon People book giveaway

Here's the winner for my copy of Moon People! Please email 372pages@gmail.com or send us a patreon message and we'll get the copy out to you!

-Conor

Quarantine Mini 6 - Shoe Addict

Conor's back. He seems healthy. Mike's getting worse.

UPDATE!! Right now on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries: "A Gourmet Detective Mystery" is the series, the episode title... sit tight... don't chew a big piece of steak... put down that tile saw... Here it is: "Roux the Day"

Quarantine Mini mini - Hallmark Edition

Conor is good. Mike is not well. 

Evidence: he's tracking the Hallmark channel.

Quarantine Mini 4 - Corgi Edition

It's time to decide which kind of person you are: a battery and sponge, or knotted rope and wicker chair type?

The people have spoken

It was a narrow margin, but we're going to read Dan Brown's Digital Fortress next. He's probably the most requested author we've had so far, so the survey bears that out. Artemis gave it quite the run though, so maybe we will get to that down the line. But for now, it's time for some 90s hacking, baby!

Quarantine Mini 3 - Mike's Tight 5

Conor actually did HIS tight five at an open stage!!

Bonus: Mike gives Conor the premise and Conor has to guess the joke.

Finally, book announcement coming soon! Be well everyone.

Quarantine Mini 2

Well, we now have a fuller picture of what Conor is up to in the wee small hours of the morning!

Grab a Long Island Ice Tea from your server (two drink minimum) and prepare for a tight opening five from a rising star in the local stand-up scene.

372 Quarantine Minis #1

Hey everyone, just thought that we'd start a semi-regular series of mini-quarantine episodes just as a way to keep in touch with each other and you guys during this madness. If you like 'em, we'll keep making more! We'll keep all the main book stuff in the standard episodes, these'll just be more so we don't go crazy and have excuses to do terrible standup routines.

Remember to vote for the next book!

The RP1 idea that woke me up in the middle of the night

Conor here. In our recent audio rundown of potential titles, I mentioned that I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about Ready Player One. This is not a normal occurrence, but I did just remember my thought. So here it is:

I was glad that RP1 the movie came out when it did because if the Oasis was a thing now, every other avatar would be a shitty version of the Joaquin Phoenix Joker. 

Thank you for hearing me out during this difficult time.

Pick our next book!

After listening to the rundown we just posted, vote here to help choose our next book. Vote for as many as you want. Not a final/binding decision! We may narrow it down with another poll or use our judgment or whatever.

And please weigh in with spirited debate in the comments!

Patreon Bonus - Vote on our next book!

Greetings, Gunters, Jackals, and Powleens! We hope everyone weathered one of the craziest weeks in memory OK. We debated abandoning the podcast for the far more lucrative industry of roadside toilet paper resale, but decided that now more than ever the world needs laughter at the expense of a bad book.

And we want YOU to help us pick the book! So in this bonus ep we discuss a few potential titles, and then will make a separate poll here on Patreon for you to vote in. So listen and choos...

I'm NOT Being Flip, This Alarmed Me!

As it turns out this was just spam from a money management firm, but not something you want to see in your inbox.

I hope you and yours are all well and just to be safe do NOT attend any Gallagher shows. (That's a standing order going forward and as long as we're at it, into the past as well.)

-MJN

Meme Contest Winners!

Congrats to the two above memes! The Churchill one won the audience vote and the Simpsons one was the judges' pick. You've won an extremely token prize! Send us a DM here or email 372pages@gmail.com to claim it!

Here's a gallery of the submissions:  https://imgur.com/a/BiPoAXo 

Episode 70 - Potato Pudding and Space Catalogs

Alas, today we finish Moon People by Dale M. Courtney. We've laughed, we've cried, we've eaten cheddar bay biscuits at Red Lobster and then gotten busy as hell afterwards. But there's only one way to bring this saga to a close: run the thing into a ditch and hitchhike away from it when it's still smoldering!

Yes, anyone who was hoping for a satisfying end to the saga will have to move on to book 2 because this one just kinda ends. But before it does, we get what is probably the worst sp...

Yep, it ended up in the e-book.

Exhausted by the typos, the "their/ they're / there"''s and "to / two / too"'s, I was re-invigorated by discovering that part of the publishing template made it into the final draft of the e-book.

Moon People meme contest!

You know the drill by now! Let's see those DMC memes! Please 'like' your favorites, we'll award an *extremely modest* cash prize to an audience pick and a judges' pick!

Episode 69 - I Seen All Good People

In the middle third of Moon People our hero David Braymer... does NOT go to the moon, or meet people from the moon. But fittingly for this number episode, he does get busy as hell!

Following what must have been the most erotic Red Lobster dinner in all of recorded history, Cheral is consumed with lust by her Rocket Man, who remains extremely casual about both his sex and going into space for a decade.

Which turns out to be kind of a crappy decision! Because for every promised medi...

everyone at once said

Special mini-episode: With Conor out of town Mike took it on himself to look into the strange phenomenon of the panicked or possibly non-panicked students in David's classroom speaking in unison.

Lauren's editorial notes on the Moon People intro

As we've mentioned on the show before, Lauren is the Executive Editor of the magazine Diabetic Living, and has worked as an editor both at magazines, websites, and the health care industry for most of her professional career. So Mike suggested we get her to provide editorial notes for DMC's Moon People intro. I had no idea she would give it the FULL editorial treatment. But here we go: it's A) all the audio we didn't have time to use and B) the 2020-02-14 14:24:49 +0000 UTC View Post

Episode 68 - Still Tippin' on 222s

Hey, there he is! The shadow has lifted from the moon, and from our souls, and MOON PEOPLE is the glorious result! There's so much to discuss here, so pledge to yourselves and to God that you won't tell anyone else about it and we'll get started! There's:

-DMC's never before seen method of writing dialogue

-What is a 222?

-Differences between print and kindle version

-Hang on I'm going to eat a quick sandwich

-Which Daytona Red Lobster are they visiting?

-D...

Where have I seen this Dale M. Courtney dialogue before...?

(Conor) Wow. Moon People certainly is something. (Mike) You sure are right about that, Conor.

In any other book, DMC's method of representing dialogue would be by far the most notable, insane thing about it, but in Moon People you just sort of learn to accept it, as you would an "elderly family member" who claims that the "nurses" are "giving them pills they don't need against their will."

But I just realized that it reminded me of something: the Wikipedia page for "Owner of a Lon...

Patreon Exclusive: Shadow Moon Mailbag & Next Book Reveal!

We got lots of emails as we wrapped up Shadow Moon, so here's a mailbag detailing all the ways you disposed of the book or how it made you sick. We're also announcing the brand new book! (If you want to skip right to that, head to 44:57)

Here are the links to things discussed in this episode: 

Brian's 372 Choose Your Own Adventure  (Check out his po...

Two "lucky" people are getting our Shadow Moon books!

So take a look here and see if it is you! Winners, please send us a Patreon message, or email 372pages@gmail.com with your mailing address.

Hope?

Conor is away at an undisclosed location (he called me from abroad and mentioned he wasn't wearing a seat belt and had seen no women walking the streets, but I have no idea where he might be) so I thought I'd post a photo of the mystery book that showed up in my post. 

Now, this is a possibility but it gives one hope, doesn't it? You know, after the War to End All Wars that was The Book That Shall Never Be Named?

Win our books!

Time to get these books the hell out of our houses! Email 372pages@gmail.com with the subject line "Giveaway" and we'll pick two winners and curse them with these books in the mail!

EDIT-- From Mike: I just received a book out of the blue today. It is brief. The forward made me very very very happy. The asperity level was low to non-existent.

Episode 67 - The Worst Book We've Ever Read

452 pages, 2 blood whips, and one StagLord later, we have finished SHADOW MOON by George Lucas and Chris Claremont. Much like Thorn/Willow, we are now very tired. Unlike our protagonist, we've been lying on the floor for three hours now (being tired) but it has not yet granted us permission to enter.

There's a ton to talk about in this last episode, but we'll get ahead of your questions: yes we discuss Burglekutt the beet farmer. We'll also encounter every animal in existence inside a v...